Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Could this be the ultimate example of helicopter parenting? A man was caught serving time for a hit-and-run his son committed. Juan G. Silva Sr. confessed to his son's crime and was sentenced to five years behind bars.
In September 2013 a car accident outside a tavern killed a pedestrian and injured another. Silva Sr. told police a windshield wiper malfunction had caused him to crash. In May 2014 he pleaded guilty to a hit-and-run leading to a death and was sentenced to five years in prison.
Meanwhile, gossip about what really happened found its way to the courts. Apparently Silva's wife, Claudia Sanchez, told a coworker her husband took the rap for the crime to save his son from prison. That coworker told the police. Sanchez spilled the beans when police interviewed her, which led to Juan G. Silva Jr. confessing he was the one who committed the crime. (What a mess. Are you still following?)
Silva Jr. was then convicted of the crime and Silva Sr. released from prison. So if you recently felt a shift in the balance of the universe, that may explain it.
I get the instinct to want to protect your son from prison, but come on. I think we can all agree that taking the blame for your kid's crime and serving their time means you're failing at Parenting 101.
Let's leave aside the fact that you've raised the kind of guy who runs over two pedestrians and then drives away without taking responsibility. What is your (admittedly grown) child going to learn by your protecting him from prison?
Nothing, that's what. Even Silva Sr. says he's disappointed that his son had not done more to get his life in order while Daddy was serving his prison sentence for him.
What's worse, though, is that trying to protect your child from prison means exposing the public to one more irresponsible human being who should not be out driving. Even parents need to answer to their duties as members of their community.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.All you need is love? Nope. It's actually all the little things that affect how happy your relationship is. That's what a 10-year survey of couples in Australia revealed. And you'd be surprised what some of those things are.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.I want everyone, I mean EVERYONE, to quit giving moms this crap advice: When we're talking about how to streamline our hectic morning routines, don't tell us to get stuff done the night before. Because! That! Doesn't! Work!
I'm not claiming I've got a lock on mornings. Most of the time it feels like I'm doing a triathlon in high heels because I literally am doing that. I'm packing lunches, making breakfast, getting people to put some clothes on already, doing my makeup, maybe even doing my hair, running for the kid's bus, running for my subway. It's exhausting. I would like it to be simpler.
And yes, I have already heard about your brilliant suggestions.
Pick out your clothes the night before!
You mean out of the huge pile of clean laundry I still have to fold tonight? Oh who am I kidding. I won't get around to folding it until Thursday.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Pick out your kids' clothes the night bef--
SHUT. UP.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Program your coffeemaker to run first thing in the morning!
That is not how French presses work, dummy. Also #freshgroundbeans. Some of us have priorities, you know?
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Pack everyone's lunches the night before!
Yes, that way the tuna sandwiches will be extra soggy and smelly. Everyone loves that.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Wash the dishes and clean the sink the night before so you can start with a fresh kitchen in the morning!
Yes, excellent nightcap that is, washing dishes. The smell of sink cleanser is like Ambien to my soul.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Pack everyone's bags the night before. Make sure kids' homework is done and ready to be turned in, and any papers that need signing have been signed!
Dear all of my son's teachers: He has permission to go to on all of the field trips no matter what forever. The end. I can't keep track of all these forms.
Also, where is my kid's bag?
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Charge all your devices the night before!
But where are they? WHERE DID THE CHARGERS GO?!? Effing Apple with your special iPhone chargers. How do these keep getting lost, and why do they cost more than $5.00 to replace?
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
I get home from work around 7:00, sometimes 7:30. I make dinner, we eat, I clean up (sort of). I make sure homework has gotten done. I attend to any urgent emergencies. Then I collapse onto the sofa and stare into space for 10 minutes. Then it's time for bed.
I am not staying up until midnight to pack lunches and crap. When you do stuff the night before you end up taking too long because you're mother-effing TIRED. Better to save it for first thing in the morning when you're in a hurry because you'll get it done faster. Am I right? Who's with me?
When Liz Woodward served two New Jersey firefighters early in the morning she overheard them talking about their exhausting night. Tim Young and Paul Hullings were fresh from a warehouse fire they'd spent the past 12 hours fighting. She was so inspired she paid for their meals and left them a note of gratitude.
[code]
My friend Paul Hullings went with Hainesport station 391 as part of Burlington county tender strike team to the...
This, in turn, inspired the firefighters to pay her kindness forward. But they didn't just urge people to tip her generously. They also found out Woodward had started a GoFundMe campaign to raise money for a wheelchair-accessible van for her father -- so he could share more meaningful moments with his family. A post on the GoFundMe page explains.
Weddings, Funerals, Celebrations and Graduations ... He’s missed them all. Family picnics on 4th of July or out to park to watch fireworks (we’ve always watched them out of his hospital window). We’ve shared everything with him on cell phones in videos and photographs since he couldn’t get there.
The firefighters got behind the campaign and soon raised far more than Woodward's original goal of $17,000. They raised $60,000. That's going to buy the Woodward family a sweet set of wheels! But more importantly, Liz's father will be able to attend all these family events he's been missing.
Liz Woodward's greatest heart's desire granted, all because she wanted to show some gratitude to a couple of weary firefighters. It's not something she went looking for. "All I did was pay for their breakfast," she told WPVI, "and I didn't think anything would come about it except they would leave with a smile."
It's beautiful how often sending goodness out into the world sends blessings right back to you. And it's even better knowing you're never alone in your intentions. There is always someone else out there also trying to be their best selves, watching for opportunities. People like firefighter Paul Hullings, who told WPVI, "We're not just firefighters. We're also caring people; we want to be part of everybody's life."
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.She's baaaaack! Fresh on the heels of Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign, the infamous Linda Tripp is fighting for the spotlight yet again. She claims she's trying to save us from a second President Clinton, something which must NEVER happen. Never. NEVAAAAARRR!
It's been nearly 20 years since the Monica Lewinsky scandal, and even Monica says she just wants to move on. But not Linda Tripp. She's still hell-bent on Bill and Hill destruction, as she revealed in an exclusive interview with the Daily Mail.
You don't have to be a Clinton fan to notice she sounds paranoid and obsessed. So yeah, we want to hear what Tripp has to say! Here's a few quotes from the interview. Pass the popcorn.
"In [Hillary Clinton's] mind she would be part of a coronation instead of an election."
"So this is a runaway train. Nobody is going to stop it."
"I think the most compelling thing about Hillary is that she will stop at nothing to achieve her end and that she views the public as plebeians easily seduced into believing her point of view."
Nothing, do you hear me? NOTHING! Mwa ha ha ha ha! Thanks, Linda. Now tell us how this is different from every other presidential candidate.
But wait, there's more: As eeeevil as Tripp thinks Bill Clinton is, Hillary is an even more nefarious threat, she implies in her interview. Beware the witch!
"I believe for all his faults as a flawed man, Bill Clinton is not as unscrupulous as his wife. He is complicit but he is not as deceitful as Hillary Clinton is. Don't get me wrong, they are both missing the integrity chip but while she is inherently dishonorable, his seems to be learned behavior."
Even worse than being intrinsically evil, Hillary Clinton is power hungry and In Charge. And if there's anything we fear, it's a powerful woman.
"Their focus has always been power and the accumulation of that power. There were just so many things in the White House that made it abundantly clear to anyone in their radius that he was the elected official but she was the one with the actual power."
Leaning in too much, Hillary! Leaning in way too far.
"When I think of Hillary Clinton I think of a lingering taint of scandal and wrongdoing and, in my opinion, possible criminal activity."
SMELLL THE LINGERING TAINT OF SCANDAL! Smellllllllll it! Smells like witches' brew, that's what. Lizard skin and newt eyes!
Linda Tripp, everyone: Still batsh*t and Clinton-obsessed after all these years, if this interview is to be believed. It's good to know some things never change. There's more to the interview, of course. Much, much more. It goes on forever. And yet NONE of it is new. Tripp has no new scoop. Zilch. I want the last 15 minutes of my life spent reading this interview back, now.
Smell the lingering taint of scandal? Smell a woman desperate to recapture all the attention she enjoyed 17 years ago. Boy did she miss it. Clearly Linda Tripp is as attention hungry as Hillary is power hungry.
Ooh, be sure to check out The Christmas Sleigh, a Christmas store in Virginia that Tripp runs with her husband. Because nothing says "celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ" like a long-standing vendetta.
Image via JAMAL A. WILSON / Stringer / Getty Images
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Page Six is claiming that Gisele Bundchen dressed in a burqa to get a secret boob job in Paris. We'll pause here to let that sink in because OMG, there is so much going fantastically wrong in that story we don't even know where to start.
Deep breath! Okay, so here's what the New York Post is alleging. Sources -- yes, that's plural -- say Gisele and her sister Rafaela, while wearing burqas with open-toe sandals, were driven to the very posh International Clinique du Parc Monceau for surgery. Supposedly Giselle paid about $11,000 to have work done on her breasts and eyes.
The surgery is said to be a 35th birthday and retirement present to herself -- in addition to addressing concerns she had that childbearing had caused her breasts to sag. Bunchden's longtime chauffeur was the one to drive the sisters to the clinic and then, the next day, from the clinic to a spa where they stayed for five days before returning home.
Did we mention this happened during the Muslim holiday, Ramadan? And that burqas have been banned in France since 2010? And that if you're observant enough to wear a burqa you would also know that showing off your toes is also forbidden by some segments of the Muslim community?
So there's that -- it's just plain disrespectful to use another culture's religious garb as a disguise, especially for something like plastic surgery. I mean, that cultural insensitivity is gross enough on its own.
But then there's this burning question -- what the hell is Gisele Bundchen doing going under the knife? Isn't that a little like tinkering with the Sistine Chapel? Who would dare?
Worst of all, she's one of the most famously gorgeous women on planet Earth, and she's still like, "Nope, not beautiful enough." I mean, sure, she probably doesn't look exactly the same as she did 10 years ago. But come on. Getting plastic surgery on that face and that body seems, I don't know, downright ungrateful.
I guess it just goes to show, you can be declared the most beautiful woman in the world and still feel insecure about your looks. It doesn't matter how many magazine covers she's done, how much money she's made, none of that was enough to make Gisele feel like she's beautiful enough the way she is. It's all just noise. If anything, I wonder if constantly having your image everywhere made her hypercritical. What a tragedy, not being able to relax and simply enjoy how gorgeous you are.
That is, assuming this outrageous story is true -- and we hope it's not!
For the rest of us, this is just a reminder that no amount of outside affirmation can make you feel as beautiful as looking in the mirror and deciding to love yourself the way you are.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Seventeen-year-old Jaydon Chavez-Silver died after he was struck by a drive-by shooter. But would the teen have lived if the 911 dispatcher hadn't hung up on his friend's desperate call?
Chavez-Silver was at a party with friends in Albuquerque when a gunman shot into the house. An audio recording shows that a female friend of Chavez-Silver called 911 and was urging the teen to stay with her while she relayed information to the dispatcher. In her frantic state she used profanity, and that's when she lost contact with the dispatcher.
"Is he breathing?" the dispatcher asked.
"He's barely breathing. How many time do I f---ing have to tell you?" the woman exclaimed.
"Okay, you know what, ma'am?" the dispatcher replied. "You can deal with it yourself. I'm not going to deal with this, okay."
"No, he's going to die!" the woman says just before the call is cut off.
Did the dispatcher cruelly drop the call deliberately?
Albuquerque Fire Department Chief David Downey says the dispatcher, identified as Matthew Sanchez, was removed from the center and placed on administrative leave. Downey says he is conducting an internal investigation.
But that won't bring back Nicole Chavez's son. "That call was heartbreaking," she told NBC News. "There's no other way to describe it. To hear his friends try to help him fight for his life ..."
911 dispatchers are supposed to be trained to deal with all kinds of behavior. Not everyone can remain civil and lucid during an emergency! I can't blame the young woman for using profanity. How can you expect anyone to behave perfectly when they're watching their friend die right in front of them?
"We heard rumors about the 911 operator hanging up on the caller when Jaydon was shot but had no other information," Chavez said in a statement to KOB News. "After hearing the call today, it is heartbreaking to listen to. Right now, we just want to find the people responsible for this violent, deadly crime."
Chavez will never see her son graduate from high school. He may have died from the gunshot anyway, regardless of how quickly help reached him. But we'll never know, and that makes the tragedy that much worse for this boy's loved ones.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.This is not the way we usually see Leonardo da Vinci's masterpiece, "The Last Supper." French artist Catherine Théry has re-cast the famous scene, this time with Barbie dolls (and hamburgers). It's part of a whole series of photographs starring your daughter's favorite dolls in some of art history's best-known paintings.
"Pas celles que vous croyez" or "Not the ones you think" is the name of Théry's photo exhibition at Teodora Galerie in Paris. We asked Théry to tell us more about these intriguing images.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Ladies, your all-consuming crush on Channing Tatum, Christian Grey, or even That Guy You Saw on the Elevator This Morning poses absolutely no threat to your marriage whatsoever. In fact, your passionate secret crush could actually be good for your relationship.
A group of scientists studied women's crushes for people outside their primary relationships and published the results in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy. They had 160 women answer open-ended questions about crushes in an anonymous Internet-based survey. Here's what they learned.
About 70 percent of women said they have crushes on people outside their primary relationship. And we have different kinds of crushes. (But you knew that already.)
We also have "diverse strategies for managing" those crushes. Crushes are something you have to manage, ladies! You can't just flip open a magazine, see a photo of Taye Diggs, and yell out OH MY GOD IN HEAVEN PLEASE SAVE ME NOW!
Most women say their crushes don't impact their relationship. Well of course not, especially if it's a celeb crush. But even if it's on another guy (or woman) in real life, I think we all know that it's fun to crush on someone without actually doing anything about it.
Some women even said their crushes "improved their desire for their partner." The study authors say this likely because women "funneled increased sexual desire from a crush into their primary relationship." Um, is someone picturing Daniel Craig while they make love to their husband? Which brings us to another interesting finding.
Most women do not communicate with their partners about their crushes. Interesting -- that's probably a wise strategy. See above re: managing crushes. How do we feel about our husbands and boyfriends talking about their crushes? Do we even want to know they have any?
It's funny that women don't talk about their crushes. I can understand if it's the guy next door. But what about celeb crushes? My boyfriend and I joke about ours all the time. I know a lot of couples have "celeb cheating exceptions" -- people they're allowed to cheat with should the opportunity ever present itself ... a safe bet since it's usually an extremely remote possibility.
I can see how talking about your crushes could crank up the sexual energy in a couple so long as you're both very secure in that relationship, though. Otherwise, I guess we're quietly suggesting yet another pre-bedtime screening of Casino Royale. For no particular reason.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Are you excited about your kids' SCHOOL?!? The talented teachers! The thrilling teachable moments! It's so exciting! Imagine a new program that gives us the play-by-plays and coverage parents are hungry for: Key and Peele's "TeachingCenter."
What if cable news followed education with the same passionate fervor as ESPN's "Sports Center"? It would look like THIS. Full disclosure -- in case you hadn't already guessed, this is a parody video. Womp, womp.
I know a lot of moms who actually do get this excited over their kids' education -- and maybe a handful of dads, too. But imagine what it would be like if all dads were as passionate about their children's schools as they are about their favorite sports?
And what if we really did pay teachers like we play pro athletes? Because don't you think what they do matters just a little bit more? I mean, we'd want to reward truly talented teachers to make a difference in their students' lives, not just teachers who squeeze out higher test scores (zzz, we already kind of have that system going).
If teaching became as prestigious and competitive and remunerative as pro sports (or law and banking, for that matter) we'd be investing a whole lost more in training teachers and we'd attract incredible talent. We already do -- my kid's teachers have been astonishing. But we need MORE of those high-caliber teachers.
I found myself laugh-crying when I watched this and not just because it's funny. I guess a part of me wishes we were this invested in our kids' education. You have to stay to the car ad at the very end. I don't want to give too much away. Just ... wow.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.The world is about to become a safer place for misogynist prudes everywhere! The National Center on Sexual Exploitation has persuaded grocers to hide issues of Cosmopolitan magazine behind paper blinders in order to shield shoppers from its pornographic covers and content.
Retailers RiteAid and Delhaize America (which owns Hannaford Stores and Food Lion) will also stop selling Cosmo to minors. "This as a major victory for the ongoing campaign to shield Cosmo from minors because of the magazine’s glorification and desensitization of porn and sexual violence," reads NCSE's (de)press(ing) release.
Really -- Cosmo glorifies and desensitizes porn and sexual violence?
That has never been my impression. But just in case, I bought a couple copies. The U.S. August issue has sold out, but FYI: It featured 50-year-old mother-of-three Sarah Jessica Parker. Her blurb reads "Nice girls finish fierce" -- yup, sure sounds porny to me.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Okay, yes, the word SEX is blazing across the front. But what kind of sex? "Oh my goddess! Simple ways to make him worship you." Wow, that's a pretty darn empowering idea -- women owning their sexuality and using it to make men literally worship them as goddesses, rather than letting men exploit or abuse them. Hm...
Compare this with the current issue of Maxim.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Double standard, anyone?
Why is it okay for men to gawk at women's bodies but not for women to gawk at women's bodies, anyway? Why so much focus on Cosmo, specifically, when men's magazines go so much further? Did they not see this year's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover, with the model pulling down her bottom like that's the sole purpose she was put on Earth to do? (I actually did have a problem with that cover, unlike with Cosmo covers.)
I mean, can we please talk about the difference between the male gaze and the female gaze? Hello, Women's Studies 101, anybody?
If you're going to wage a war against sexual imagery in the media, at least be consistent!
But back to Cosmo, because NCSE really seems to have a beef with them. The UK issue I bought had a swimsuit editorial -- but the suits were all relatively modest ones intended for athletic women to actually swim and snorkel in. Shocking!
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
The sexual content is all at the back of the magazine. There's an article touting the benefits of morning sex -- because it makes you two feel closer, because of the health benefits, because variety is good, because it enhances your levels of immunoglobulin A ... it's all about feeling good and improving your health, for women.
And by the way, that's long been the tone of Cosmo's sex advice -- it's all about encouraging women to enjoy their bodies and take ownership of their pleasure. A dangerous concept, to be sure! Is that what NCSE is really worried about?
The "Sex Therapy" column includes advice for woman who complains her boyfriend won't give her oral, a woman whose boyfriend resists connecting emotionally with her in bed, and a feminist who wants to stop sacrificing her pleasure for her partner's.
"As a feminist, you understand that your right to freedom, power, and safety is equal to men's, but your experience says otherwise," Cosmo's therapist Rachel Morris says. She urges all of the women to take control in bed and clearly ask for what they want.
There is one partially nude shot of a woman in this issue. It's of Silkyh Richardson, a woman with ulcerative colitis and surgery scars on her abdomen, talking about how she finally learned to love and accept her body. "I want women to know you're gorgeous no matter what size you are or what scars you have," she says.
If I had a teenage daughter who was curious about sex this is EXACTLY the content I would want them to find. It's stupid that anyone would want to protect minors from it. For that matter, I wouldn't mind my son reading it as well, because he'd get a real education into what will be expected him (someday) as a romantic partner, if it turns out he's straight or bi.
But what burns me the most about National Center on Sexual Exploitation is that their mission is to focus on the (nonexistent) links between pornography/sex in the media and sex trafficking, violence against women, child abduction, etc.
Which means that while they're fussing over magazine covers, other people are doing the real work of empowering women and fighting the forces that actually fuel sexual abuse. Here are just a few examples.
Jenny Williamson, founder of Courage Worldwide. When she found out that her hometown of Sacramento was a hub for sex trafficking she stared this nonprofit that provides homes for young women and girls rescued from the sex trade.
Susan Munsey, who founded Generate Hope, a recovery program for young women who have been trafficked, prostituted, or otherwise sexually exploited.
Lisa Williams founded the Living Water Center for Girls, which combats human sex trafficking by providing refuge, care, education, and vocational services for victims.
I could go on. (All are L'Oreal's Women of Worth honorees, by the way.) My point is, this war being waged against Cosmo and similar women's media (like 50 Shades of Grey) is completely misguided. If you want to prevent the abuse and exploitation of women, go after the people actually abusing and exploiting.
Because rapists are not reading Cosmo for hot new rape positions, okay? They're not.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Are we ready for for a plus-size Victoria's Secret Angel? When Angels Elsa Hosk and Jac Jagaciak were asked that question, they said it's just a matter of time before we see some fuller curves strut down the Victoria's Secret catwalk.
Jac told the Daily Mail:
I think the whole world is more open to plus-size [models], and I am sure at some point [Victoria’s Secret] will be ready for it.
At some point? Does she mean some point as in next season or some point as in the year 2035? Because this should have already happened by now.
Hosk seemed to imply that opening up the diversity of nationalities may have paved the way to more diverse body types. The Swedish model tells the Mail:
Right now, there are a lot of Angels represented. We’re from all over the world We come from different backgrounds. We all had different lives before this, so it is really interesting how a lot of different nationalities are represented, and it is super cool.
Yes! SUPER cool. And you know what else would be super cool? If you all weren't six feet tall with five percent body fat! Super. Duper. Cool.
Of course if you asked any of us mortals if we're ready for a plus-size Angels the answer would be, "Honey, we've been ready." Remember when Lane Bryant launched their lingerie line with that campaign of women saying "I'm no angel!"? It was a pretty pointed dig at a certain retailer who seems to be ignoring a lot of potential customers!
But let's not call them "plus-size," okay? After all, the average size for an American woman is 14. To Victoria's Secret that may be plus, but for most women that's just normal.
And when we do finally see average-sized women on the VS catwalk, let's make sure one of them gets to wear the fancy, bazillion-dollar, Swarovski crystal bra. That honor should not be reserved for the slimmest.
Okay, Victoria's Secret. You have your instructions. Now what do you say about making this happen, say, in the next year or two instead of making us wait until the next century?
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.There's a quieter form of domestic abuse, and it's called financial abuse. It's when a spouse tries to control you through financial means -- by limiting your spending, cutting off your access to funds, maybe even ruining your credit. Stay at home moms are especially at risk.
"You run a big risk once you go into that stay-at-home mom role," says certified financial planner Vickie Adams. She has a client with two small children under three whose husband cheated on her is leaving her. She's getting very little spousal support, and because she's been out of the workforce for five years, it's going to be hard to find a job to support herself.
"Financial abuse is one of the biggest factors in domestic abuse cases," Adams says. "It's how some men really keep control of their wives."
The best way to avoid this situation: awareness. Financial abuse tends to happen slowly, often when moms are busy with small children -- and who can blame them? That's consuming work. And some husbands reinforce the idea that finances are too difficult for overwhelmed moms ... but never let anyone use that stereotype against you.
Here are eight things you should be doing now, which could head off financial abuse and save you more grief later on.
1. Get inquisitive. You should always ask questions about your financial health and spending, Adams says. She says women tend to be discouraged from being "too" curious, especially if it leads to fights. If that's the case, it could be a strong indication that you're in a potentially abusive relationship. Why else would he be so defensive? There are ways to question without sounding aggressive, of course. But a husband should be willing to be open and transparent about how he handles his finances.
2. Get a handle on your tax returns. "This is the most important place where women don't participate, is filing a joint tax return," Adams says. That's because your tax return is where your most important financial information is. Not only that, if you file married jointly, you have to sign. "And you should understand what you're signing because you're financially responsible, too."
Not only that, Adams says your taxes are an important opportunity to understand your financial situation better. You should know what both of you earn, if you're both working. You should know if you have assets that bring income, or if you have investments.
3. Check your credit reports. Once a year you should check your credit reports, both yours and your husband's. If your husband gets defensive about letting you check that could be a red flag that he has something to hide.
Your spouse may say too many credit report inquires can lower your score. This is somewhat true. However, once a calendar year will not damage your score. It's when you have multiple inquiries within the past six months that it becomes a problem.
4. Make sure you have access to everything. Even if he handles most of the family finances, you should always have access to online baking accounts, statements, checkbooks, investment reports, all of it.
5. Make sure you're up to date on passwords. For anything you have online, check the passwords regularly to make sure he's not changing them behind your back. It sounds horrible, but this has happened to a friend of mine.
6. Create your budget together. Don't just tell your husband what you need a let him hand over an allowance. Take a more active role and do it jointly.
7. Retain any gifts, property, and inheritances under your name. Don't add those funds to a joint account. If you received them before your marriage they are yours and will not be considered communal property in the event of a divorce. "You may need that chunk of money someday," Adams warns.
8. Keep your eyes open. "Look at your husband's lifestyle, his clothing, his hobbies," Adams advises. Notice any changes -- if he's spending more than he supposedly makes he could be hiding money. Are there statements that used to arrive in the mail that you're not seeing anymore?
Are you feeling overwhelmed? Don't be. "Whether you think you can understand or not, you really have to push yourself to be involved," Adams says.
In fact, she says, women are actually wired to handle financial matters -- more so than men are. "We're more capable of handling financial transactions," she says. "And you don't have to be good at math." The same wiring that makes women excel at multitasking enables us to understand complicated concepts and sets of facts.
"Give yourself more credit because you're more capable than you think you are!" Adams says. Maybe make friends with another mom who is on top of her finances (because many are!), and find out how she does it.
And don't be afraid to make waves by questioning things. After all, your husband could be creating a financial tsunami for you and your kids. Feel like you have too much to lose? If you remain passive too long, you may end up losing everything anyway.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Exciting news, sensitive bookish gals! There will be a TV adaptation of Louisa May Alcott's 1868 novel Little Women. Only one little problem. The CW's "hyper-stylized, gritty" adaptation resembles the original novel not a whit.
As Deadline describes it, "half-sisters Jo, Meg, Beth, and Amy band together in order to survive the dystopic streets of Philadelphia and unravel a conspiracy that stretches far beyond anything they have ever imagined -- all while trying not to kill each other in the process." So ... Jo's notorious temper has a homicidal edge to it?
Unraveling a conspiracy?
Philadelphia?
Half-sisters?
WHAT IN THE WHAT?
What happened to Little Women? I don't even recognize this story. I'm not opposed to a modern-day update of the classic. Winona Ryder's 1994 film pretty much nailed the faithful adaptation. But I think they took this new concept a bit too far.
It's like someone pitched the adaptation to the network, and the CW was like, "We love it! But we've gotta make it relevant to millennials. And let's see if we can work zombies or vampires into it!" Ten brainstorm meetings later they came out with this Frankestein's monster of a concept that's no doubt got Louisa May Alcott spinning in her grave. And not with joy.
Why even bother? Just ditch the whole Jo, Meg, Beth, and Amy business and do a show about four half-sisters in a dystopian Philadelphia who have nothing whatsoever in common with four sisters struggling to make ends meet in Civil War–era Concord, Massachusetts.
I hate to think what they'll do with Laurie. Let me guess: He's the heroin-addict tattoo artist with a shop around the corner. And he has syphilis.
Can't wait! I'm putting on my white party gloves just for the occasion. Well, just one of them. My pair is stained with blood so I'm sharing a good pair with my sister. You know how it is -- so hard to keep white gloves clean in dystopian Philadelphia.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Dylan McKay was too cool for school on the TV series Beverly Hills, 90210, and actor Luke Perry is way too cool for your 90210 nostalgia, you dorks. During an appearance at the Television Critics Association press tour, Perry compared 90210 to the third grade. Harsh!
When asked if he was planning to tune into Lifetime's unauthorized Beverly Hills, 90210, project, Perry openly scoffed. Can you scoff and bite the hand that fed your leap to stardom? Well, he did. Here's how that went down.
"What do you think about Lifetime doing the tell-all?" a reporter asked.
"I don't think about it," surly McCay responded.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
"You must have some thoughts?"
"No."
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
"Why do you think there's still a fascination? It's been a few years since that show went off the air."
"Yeah, I had really cool hair." [SARCASM ALERT]
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
"Why are you so disconnected to that? Why does it not matter to you?"
"Third grade. How much does it matter to you? Exactly. It's not relevant to anything I'm doing. Next question."
I mean, come on. We're talking about a show that opened every week with this shot of Dylan nuzzling Brenda like he was Serge Gainsbourg nuzzling Jane Birkin.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
And these eyebrow skills? Waste. Of. Talent.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
I mean, EYEBROWS!
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Does anyone do soulful wounded bad boy like Dylan McKay? Don't answer that.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Look at Dylan being so very fierce and manly as he engages in a hair gel horn lock with Brandon -- like stags competing in the forest primeval.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Ohhhh the psychic pain of being Dylan McKay. Just make it go away, tiny airplane bottle of booze. Make it go away.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
For Dylan is a connoisseur of fine liquors, with the sophisticated tastes of a spoiled Beverly Hills emancipated minor.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Stop! Time for another smoldering stare.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Yeah, there's a lot going on there. Deep.
Now watch Dylan impress Brenda with his super-convincing Dean Martin impression. No, she's not embarrassed. Why would you say that?
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Yup, Dylan McKay. Definitely too cool for all of us.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Something I keep wondering while I watch the presidential candidates for 2016: Are they crazy, or is it just the stars? Maybe some astrology could shed some light on their often bizarre moves. Think it would help to check out the presidential candidates' horoscopes?
We took a look at the daily horoscopes of the presidential front runners and let's just say ... the universe has been throwing some intense energy around.
Tuesday, July 28: Linda Tripp clambered out from 1998 to warn us against voting for that witch, Scorpio Hillary Clinton. Astrologer Russell Grant's horoscope reading for that day urged her to "stop beating yourself up for failing to reach certain goals. You're exactly where the universe wants you to be." He says this was a good day for loved ones to make her feel better about her situation, so hopefully Clinton relied on close friends to comfort her after that Tripp interview.
Oh, and great news: Someone "close to your heart" could be setting her up for a new job with "unusual hours." You know what job has unusual hours? I'm thinking of the initials POTUS.
Wednesday, July 29: Gemini Donald Trump declares breastfeeding "Disgusting." Well, the Bellingham Herald's horoscope has less to say about Trump's wordfart and more to say about our response to it.
Certain persons are in a mighty picky mood. They might correct everything you say, until you feel you daren't open your mouth, or they could criticize your behavior. Well, that's how it seems to you, although they've probably got a very different opinion about what's happening because they think you're being far too sensitive and subjective. Are you?
I don't think we were in a "picky mood" when we took issue with Trump's perspective on breastfeeding. As for thinking he's "far too sensitive and subjective" -- yup. All that bombast and ballast (not to mention hair) is a cover-up for that over-sensitive ego.
"Making decisions or long-range plans is favored now." Good news for his campaign. "Your judgment is sound. Making worthwhile professional contacts, reaching out to others who can help you in your work, and taking care of business in an orderly, clear way are also likely." Well I should say so -- about 100,000 "others" were there to help him Wednesday. And they'd probably agree his judgment is sound.
"You are under no obligation whatsoever to behave out of character." I would say Walker doesn't even look authentic riding a motorcycle anyway, but especially not a union-made bike! Then there's some blather about a "sense of oppression lifting" if he "dumps his fears" and acts according to his heart's desires ... I think this means he should drop out of the race and take up farming. Just an idea?
A new member of your family or social group has a lot to teach you. They've been through what you are going through, and have some interesting advice for you. They're not going to come up to you, tap you on the shoulder and say 'let's talk' -- so if you want to get some clarity on things, you need to approach them about it. They might be surprised at your request, but not because they don't want to help. They do want to help, and will be pleased that you are reaching out!
Okay, that's uncanny -- Jeb! has two family members who've been through presidential runs, and they probably both have plenty of advice for him. Sounds like Jeb! needs to be the one to reach out for advice from his brother and dad.
And there you go, horoscopes for the candidates. Will the stars tell us who will win? Haha, of course they won't. All those planets and stars in space are doing their own thing. It's all up to us.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.You've seen those gym photos. You've seen those other women at the pool or the beach. They have muscles, they look smokin' and you want some of that. Well, good! Strength training is all kinds of great for you. But how to get started? Let's open the door for you with some tips.
You've probably gotten the message by now that lifting weights is not just for the guys. This exercise is for you, no matter what your fitness level. There is a beginning point for everyone. Here's everything I've learned from my first months doing strength training.
1. Use a program. This is a set of exercises you do regularly for a number of weeks, often 12 weeks. This gives you a plan for when you go to the gym so you know exactly what to do, instead of wandering around randomly selecting machines.
2. Do some research. There are so many books and programs and gurus out there -- how do you choose a program? Ask your athletic friends for recommendations. Check out fitness blogs. Read reviews. And beware of anyone who sounds like they're promising AMAZING! one-size-fits-all results. We all respond to strength training differently.
3. Find a trainer or coach. Trainers are expensive, it's true. So if you can, work with someone at least for your first session or two to make sure you're lifting correctly. They may also notice any alignment issues or potentially harmful habits you should be aware of.
4. Get your form down. This is super important, and the reason why it's helpful to work with a trainer (or other trusted expert) at least at the beginning. You need to make sure the position of your body is exaclty right before you start adding weight to prevent injury.
5. Have a goal, any goal. It could be as simple as "do this program three days a week for 12 weeks." Or it could be "firm up my butt" or "dead lift 200 pounds." It helps to work towards something.
6. Put on cardio on the back burner for a while. One big mistake I made when I started strength training is I kept running on my days off. It was too much and I exhausted myself. So if you're already doing cardio, take a break from it for the first week or two until your body adjusts to your new workouts. Then you can add it back in.
On the other hand, I think yoga is an excellent compliment to strength training. It helps you stretch your muscles and it's restorative in an active way.
7. Forget about protein supplements and carb loading. As long as you're eating a healthy, well-balanced diet you do not need extra protein or carbs. You'll be hungry, so if you're watching your weight be careful about overcompensating your calories.
8. Machines are okay. I think free weights have the edge over machines, but machines are a great place to start because they help you isolate certain muscles. You'll get to know what it feels like to work your quads versus your hamstrings, for example. Just make sure you skip these five useless exercise machines.
9. If it hurts, stop. We're all built differently, and an exercise one person can do easily may be all kinds of wrong for you. So if something hurts or feels wrong (not just difficult, but "I'm going to bust something" wrong) stop. Swap it out for another exercise that works the same muscles.
For example, my last program had crunch-type exercises that my lower back hated. I swapped them out for some plank-style core exercises instead. Which reminds me.
10. Prepare for a little soreness. That's your body's way of telling you that you worked your muscles hard. A bit of burn when walking up the stairs, for example, is okay. Not being able to get out of bed is too much.
11. Do not obsess over your abs. There's no such thing as spot reduction, and some trainers say you can actually bulk up your abs with too many crunches. The good news is, you should be engaging your core for every kind of strength training exercise you do -- which means you'll tone your core no matter what.
12. Work to the point of failure. This is how you know you're working hard enough to get real results: Your last two reps should be so hard you almost can't do them -- or maybe you can only do them half-way. Push for two seconds as far into the position as you can, even if you don't do it all the way. If you can do 12 reps without a problem you're not lifting enough weight. Make your gym time count.
13. Know your gym etiquette. Don't drop weights on the floor noisily. Don't do split sets (where you bounce between two different machines/sets of equipment) during busy times at the gym. Wipe up anything you sweat on. Put equipment back where it belongs. Don't hoard equipment you're not using at the moment.
14. Be patient. Some women's muscles respond to training right away. But for the majority of us, it takes weeks, months even. So hang in there for the long haul. There shouldn't be an end point, anyway -- this is your new life, and it's just going to get better and better.
15. Reward yourself. Not with ice cream! After a hard workout take a moment to acknowledge your hard work. Notice how you feel and enjoy it. Tell yourself that you are strong and powerful.
You've got this -- now go out there and have some fun!
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Gwyneth Paltrow may never live down calling her divorce a "conscious uncoupling." But she's found a good way to spin it. Paltrow says she had "no idea" her letter was titled "Conscious Uncoupling" ... but she'll happily take credit for how obsessed we all became over it.
Is it me, or is Paltrow consciously uncoupling herself from the phrase consciously uncoupling?
As Paltrow tells Fast Company, "When I announced that I was separating on the website, [editorial director Elise Loehnen] titled the piece 'Conscious Uncoupling' and I had no idea." See? She's not responsible for that. I mean ... haha, it's not like it was an announcement regarding a MAJOR LIFE CHANGE or anything.
Yeah no. She had "no idea" up until the moment her editor ran it past her before going live. You don't publish a headline for your celebrity boss's divorce announcement until you get her approval.
But hey, Paltrow is the boss, so she gets to take credit for what she wants and hand off responsibility for what she doesn't.
And she sure has since embraced the phrase. She's advocated the practice in interviews. Gwyneth Paltrow IS conscious uncoupling. She is the shining example of the right way to divorce, down to having brunch with her ex-husband even when she hates him because they're still family. That's what it means to uncouple consciously.
In fact, now when you search for her divorce announcement, what you'll find in its place is an informative article on the concept of conscious uncoupling by therapists Dr. Habib Sadeghi and Dr. Sherri Sami. It's no longer about her personal story. Now it's about enlightening us all to this better path.
So of course Paltrow didn't mind all the mocking that happened in the wake of her announcement. "When something like that happens, I think everybody is like, 'Oh, shit,'" she tells Fast Company. "I just tell them that I think we are creating interesting discussions," Paltrow says. Which is a great attitude to have, actually.
Just like her famous attitude about divorce. Which she's now distancing herself from. But in a loving, embracing way. Got it?
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view. Hillary Clinton is talking about the real inspiration behind her run for president, and surprise: It's her mother! In her new TV campaign ad, Hillary introduces America to her mother, Dorothy Rodham. And her story is not at all what you'd expect.
Dorothy Rodham's painful childhood almost sounds like the beginning of Jane Eyre. She was abandoned as an 8-year-old. Her grandparents took her in, but reluctantly. And it wasn't until she went to work for another family at the age of 14 that she discovered what a family looks like when the parents actually love their children.
Fortunately there were other adults in Dorothy's life who "showed her kindness and gave her a chance," and she became the tough but loving woman who raised Hillary Rodham Clinton. Even if you're not a Clinton supporter, you'll find the story of her mother's fortitude inspiring.
[code]
Our first TV ad of the 2016 campaign: Watch Hillary tell the story of her mom, Dorothy.
https://t.co/K62hyntMt9
When Clinton says at the end of her ad, "This is why I'm doing this, for all the Dorothys," we know she means other strong women like her mother who "fight for their families, who never give up." But we can't help thinking about these other famous Dorothys -- real and fictional.
Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
She's the curous little girl who gets swept up in a tornado, dumped into a magic kingdom, and tasked with the job of killing a witch. Too much for such a sweet gal? Not at all -- she's already got one witch assassination under her belt. Along the way she manages to win the loyalty of a heartless tin man and a lion, so you know she'd probably kick butt in politics. If only she'd stuck around for the job of Wizard instead of handing it off and heading home!
Dorothy Hamill
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Back in the 1970s Dorothy Hamill was as famous for her Olympic medals in figure skating as she was for her sassy, short wedge haircut. But Hamill was so much more than her hair! As a kid she showed up for practice at 4:30 a.m. Her hard work paid off, and long after her Olympic days she was still known as one of America's best-known athletes. She is also a breast cancer survivor.
Dorothy Zbornak
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Bea Arthur played this sarcastic, tough broad with a heart of gold on Golden Girls. She intimidated her roommates, Rose and Blanch -- and sometimes even her mother, Sophia. But underneath it all they knew she loved them. In her way. Come to think of it, she kind of reminds us of Hillary.
Dorothy Height
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
This Dorothy was an accomplished civil rights leader and educator. Back in 1929 she received a college scholarship from the Elks to attend Barnard, but even though she'd been accepted they turned her away because of their unwritten policy of only allowing two black students at a time. She studied instead at NYU and went on to become the president of the National Council of Negro Women. In 1994 she was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom and in 2004 she received a Congressional Gold Medal.
Dorothy Parker
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
You may have used one of writer Dorothy Parker's famous witicisms without even knowing it. "Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses" -- sound familiar? How about, "Beauty is only skin-deep, but ugly goes straight to the bone." Or, "Don't look at me in that tone of voice." (We could do this all day!) Parker was a poet and journalist in the early 20th century. She was a member of the famous Algonquin Round Table, was at one time blacklisted as a Communist, and left her estate to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. when she died.
Is there something about that name Dorothy? It sure brings out a certain kind of toughness and determination with a big heart in some women. Maybe the Dorothys in your life are like that, too?
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.A father who was trying to teach gun safety accidentally shot his 12-year-old daughter in the arm. The good news is that the gunshot wound is not life-threatening. But we're a little concerned about what the dad was actually trying to teach his daughter.
Many families who hunt for sport or for food teach their kids from a young age how to handle a rifle, and that includes keeping it safe. But that's not what this lesson was about. Nope, this man was teaching his daughter how to draw a pistol from his pocket.
Um, why, exactly?
Why does a 12-year-old child need to know how to use a hand gun in the first place? And why does she need to know how to draw one from her pocket as opposed to from a holster, for crying out loud? That's not even safe for an adult to do! (I'm not even sure what he was doing is legal.)
What's really going on? Was this a lesson in vigilante justice? Isn't she a bit young for that? I mean, aren't most 12-year-olds her age just going to school and soccer practice?
We feel for this whole family because this accident must have been scary. And the father must feel awful. But wow, this was no lesson in gun safety -- or if it was, it was a lesson in what not to do. Sounds like this dad could use a gun safety class himself.
Investigators have yet to determine whether to charge the father.
Could this be the ultimate example of helicopter parenting? A man was caught serving time for a hit-and-run his son committed. Juan G. Silva Sr. confessed to his son's crime and was sentenced to five years behind bars.
