I saw it, and I knew I had to have it: the Pizza Cake. This is a recipe that's gone wacko viral, and you can see why. It's four pizzas stacked on top of each other and baked into an ooey, gooey, tomato saucey glob of happiness.

The recipe has appeared on numerous sites, including Pillsbury's by Shawn Syphus of IWashYouDry and on SoGoodBlog by Zorica L.

Want? Well, I wish I could share a slice with you, but I can't. I can do the next best thing, though. We're showing you how to make the Pizza Cake, step by step. It's easier than it looks!

More from The Stir: Mac & Cheese Pizza Recipe Will Have Your Kids Begging for More

Image via Pillsbury

You know who always has the BEST costumes at Halloween? Cosplay kids. In case you're not familiar, Cosplay is a kind of role-playing subculture in which people dress up like certain characters. It's short for "costume play," in fact. Comic book characters, superheroes, anime, and manga characters feature prominently. You'll see them at Comic-Con and at your local botanic garden's annual cherry blossom festival (because Japan?).

I know if my much-cooler son were reading this he would be rolling his eyes right now and reminding me that Cosplay costumes aren't Halloween costumes. But that doesn't mean we can't take some inspiration from them, right? Here are 10 amazing Cosplay costumes moms might actually wear. Look below and then tell us:

What costume would YOU wear?

Image via © Gavin Hellier/JAI/Corbis

Some mistakes are almost meant to be. Take this 39-year-old drunk woman who mistook jail for a bar. She pulled right up to the Van Buren County Jail in Michigan at 2 a.m. expecting to pick up her boyfriend and carry on the evening's festivities. When police found her there, they gave her a breathalyzer test and oh my ... well, let's just say she was definitely at the right place at the right time.

Police say the woman's blood alcohol level was more than twice the 0.08 percent considered legally drunk in Michigan.

The woman faces drunk driving charges -- obviously. You know you've had too much to drink when you mistake the county jail for a bar! Reports don't say how close the jail was to whatever bar she was trying to reach -- nor how much they look alike. But come on. What kind of bar looks like a state building?!?

It almost makes you wonder if maybe her mistake was a subconscious way of getting help. If the blood alcohol test was accurate, it sound like she was a danger to herself and everyone else on the road. And she just happened to end up at the one place where she was guaranteed to be stopped.

More from The Stir: 9-Year-Old Writes Powerful Letter to Drunk Diver Who Left Her Paralyzed

Bars don't ordinarily make a habit of following customers out to the parking lot and making sure you don't get into your car.

Or maybe it was fate. But if the universe really worked that way, every drunk driver would be pulled by a magnet to police stations. If only! But every once in a while, we get lucky. Or, like I said, maybe there was something in her that knew where she belonged, and it pulled her there. I hope she sees it as the strange, miraculous intervention she needs.

Do you think your mistakes are not so accidental sometimes?

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What would you do if you lost your breasts to breast cancer? The Women's Health and Cancer Rights Act of 1998 guarantees insurance coverage for breast reconstruction surgery. But more than half of women opt out of it.

To get some insight into this very complex and deeply personal decision The Stir spoke with eight cancer survivors with very different stories.

I chose it because of my age

After her bilateral mastectomy Adrian McClenney underwent what's called a "tram flap," in which doctors remove fat from other parts of your body to recreate your breasts.

"I chose to do reconstruction surgery because of my age." McClenney says. She was 43 at the time and felt she could recover. "If I had been over 55, I would not have chosen reconstruction."

I wanted my whole body again

Melanie Young, author of Getting Things Off My Chest: A Survivor's Guide to Staying Fearless & Fabulous in the Face of Breast Cancer for The Grace Project, chose reconstruction after her double mastectomy because "I wanted to have my whole body again."

She compares her silicone implants to 410 gummy bears, but says, "Reconstruction can be painful physically but emotionally healing. It's not perfect and it can sometimes be unsuccessful as I have seen with friends whose implants were rejected. I still have scar tissue and constant tugging around my breasts, which feel like stuffed, plush toes. But I am whole and symmetrical and love my shape."

My body looks like a road map

Gayle Carson is a three-time breast cancer survivor. She had one breast removed and replaced with an implant after her first bout of cancer. But 23 years later, that implant burst and she had the disease in her other breast.

This time, she decided not to get reconstructive surgery. After 16 operations, Carson says her body looked "like a blueprint or road map." But if she had to do it over, she says, "I would have had a double mastectomy in the beginning and reconstruction right away."

Uncomfortable, but no regrets

Mary Anne Kochut twice battled the disease, the second one resulting in a mastectomy in 2012. "I chose to have the reconstruction process because I was uncomfortable wearing the prosthesis," she says. "They'd move and my clothes didn't fit right and I just felt mutilated and deformed when I looked in the mirror."

"I am cancer-free and feeling great physically," Kochut says. "However, I must share that I don't like the way the reconstruction feels. My chest is completely numb, and it feels like I'm wearing a very tight tank top. While the reconstruction looks great, I wish sometimes that the normal feeling would return, but that's highly unlikely." Still, she says, "I don't regret it and, given the alternatives, I would do it again."

More from The Stir: 8 Breast Cancer Survivors Reveal How It Felt the Moment They Heard the News

I wanted to be 'me' again

Allison W. Gryphon, founder of cancer-fighting network The Why? Foundation, was diagnosed with stage-three breast cancer at the age of 38 in April of 2011."I chose reconstruction because all I wanted to do was get the cancer out of my body and be 'me' again," Gryphon says. "It was part of feeling normal." Her diagnosis of cancer had made her feel out of control. "There were a lot of things I couldn't do to make myself feel better," she says. "But I could control my physical appearance."

Gryphon is happy with the outcome of her surgery now, but it took a while. "No one told me my breasts would be swollen for six months," she says. She was shocked at their size and had a bit of an identity crisis becasue she looked so different. Eventually the swelling went down. "Now I'm really happy, but I wish I'd known more about the process." 

Reconstructive surgery regret

Donna W. Hill, author of the young adult novel The Heart of Applebutter Hill went along with reconstructive surgery, but had problems with her saline implants, from drainage issues to one actually slipping down her body.

Not only that, Hill, who is blind, says the implants never felt right. "I had a sensation all along I wasn't comfortable with," she says. "It wasn't exactly pain, but it was an itchy, annoying sensation I couldn't ignore." So when doctors found a new lump, she had both implants permanently removed. She says if she'd known she had cancer in both breasts to begin with, she never would have gotten implants.

Better, but not the same

Sandy Bobal-Zuniga is a breast cancer survivor who chose reconstruction after her single mastectomy. "I knew that at 41, I wasn't emotionally ready to not have breasts," she says. "I was lucky enough to be able to do a nipple-sparing surgery first, and therefore my breast is a close to looking real as possible." But it's still not the same, she admits. Having a breast replaced "helps with the shock of looking in the mirror. However, it does not feel like the real one and there is no going back after the surgery." Bobal-Zuniga now helps other cancer patients through her website, My Personal Breast Cancer Journey.

I just wanted to get my life back

Mother of four Christine Ajayi chose not to have reconstructive surgery because treating her stage-three cancer would be traumatic enough on its own."I just wanted to get my life back in order as soon as possible," she says. She wears breast forms now. Surprisingly, losing her hair affected her more emotionally than losing a breast. "To be honest, trying to get my hair to grow back bothers me way more because I've always had really long hair." But she says she has no regrets about skipping reconstructive surgery.

We'd like to express our gratitude to these women for sharing their stories and hope they'll be helpful to other women who have to ponder this difficult choice.

Have you ever been in this position yourself or had a close friend or loved one who had to make the decision? What happened?

Image © iStock.com/AtnoYdur

All he wanted to do was share his best assets. Could he help it if the world was not ready to see what he offered ... while lying on a restaurant chain's kitchen table? A man calling himselfJustin Speekz was fired from Chili's after posing shirtless and, you guessed it, posting the photos on Facebook. Speekz labeled the pictures "Sexy Cooks of Chili's" and even tagged the chain, a bold decision that bespeaks the confidence he has in the power of his shirtless charisma. Alas, that charisma has its limits.

A concerned customer saw the photos and alerted the restaurant. While the photos were originally posted publicly, they're no longer available for your viewing pleasure; since the story broke, Speekz either removed them or changed his privacy settings. But the damage was done -- he was fired from his job.

Chili's released a statement in response to the incident.

Chili's clearly does not encourage this type of behavior in our restaurants. We maintain very high standards of food quality, safety and cleanliness and took immediate steps to ensure the restaurant continues to follow these requirements. Additionally, we ended this team member's employment after learning of his conduct.

Here's the funny thing, though -- even though Speekz was lying on a prep table in one of the pictures, he wasn't technically violating any food safety regulations, according to the Department of Business and Professional Regulation. And a surprise inspection of the restaurant did not reveal any critical violations.

More from The Stir: 5 of Restaurants' Dirtiest Secrets You'll Wish You Didn't Know

I mean, sure, this is still a food safety concern. But I think we know what the real problem here is: Speekz was upstaging the new Southern Smokehouse burger. And Chili's can't have that. This is the most exciting things that's happened at a Chili's since ... ever. If you're a restaurant, all the buzz should be about the foods, NOT THE DUDES.

While Speekz's look isn't quite my cup of tea, I am still highly amused. Hope someone else -- with a sense of humor -- gives him a job after this.

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What do you think -- should Speekz have been fired or was that too harsh?

Image © iStock.com/ARSELA

Okay, who here wants to look younger? Or at least age more slowly? Well, toss your straws because I have some hair-raising news for you. Drinking soda can age you as much as smoking. SMOKING, people! How can something so refreshing be so old-making? Yikes. But that's not even the scariest part. Wait until you hear HOW drinking soda ages you. It's freaky.

Drinking soda ages you because it messes with your mother-loving DNA. It alters your genes. This is some serious, science fiction-level stuff we're dealing with. AGHHH!!!

More from The Stir: My Diet Soda Addiction Was Ruining My Life

Now, here's how it all breaks down, for those of you interested in the technical details. Researchers found that people who regularly down a 20-ounce soda a day have shorter telomeres in their white blood cells. (Telomeres are protecting caps on our chromosomes.) That daily soda habit is linked to 4.6 extra years of biological aging. Dr. Elissa Epel, professor of psychiatry at the University of California San Francisco and senior author of the study, sums it up this way:

Regular consumption of sugar-sweetened sodas might influence disease development, not only by straining the body’s metabolic control of sugars, but also through accelerated cellular aging of tissues.

Right, so that's not good. There is a teensy bit of good news here, though. Epel and her team did not find the same effects on people who drink diet soda every day. But please -- soda's rap sheet is a mile long, and most misdemeanors apply to diet soda, too. Just check out this How Soda Destroys Your Body infographic.

Here's what I'm wondering: Will soda someday go the way of cigarettes? It sure seems like it's headed that way. I wouldn't be surprised if that happens by the time our kids are adults.

Do you care about avoiding things that will age you prematurely, or is that even on your radar yet?

Image © iStock.com/Alexlukin

How do you catch a ghost in the act? Well, if the "evidence" is to be believed, you photograph one accidentally while it's haunting a place ... or that wily ghost photobombs you while you're snapping the shot. Many, many people have tried to capture ghosts on film. But it's funny how many images that appear to be spiritual entities manage to show up in videos and photos unexpectedly.

Ghosts that "sneak" into your photos and videos are way scarier than ghosts you try to chase down with your camera. Don't you think?

Suspect they're all optical illusions ... or, God forbid, hoaxes? Here are 10 eerie "ghost photobombs" so freaky they just might change your mind!

Image © Red James/Corbis

Ever tried to mend a broken heart with ice cream? Maybe you should have tried what this woman did instead. After 26-year-old Tan Shen's boyfriend dumped her, she camped out at her local KFC ... for a week. It was wings, wings, wings, wings, and more wings. And you know what? It was exactly the right thing for her to do.

Shen had no idea, when she stopped by on her way home from work in Chengdu, China, that she would stay so long. "I was walking around feeling miserable," she later said, "and decided to stop by the KFC at the train station." Once there, Shen surrendered to the comfort, eventually calling in sick to work the following day.

"I hadn't planned on staying there long. I just wanted some chicken wings," Shen says. "But once I got in there and started eating, I decided I needed time to think."

Chicken can do that to you. It's rich in tryptophan, which helps raise serotonin levels. It's exactly what you should eat when you're feeling broken-hearted. Ice cream you just spoon into your mouth mindlessly. But chicken? It slows you down -- especially if you have to work your way around wing bones. It's food for soul searching.

More from The Stir: 10 Awful Things That Can Happen After a Breakup

Lucky for Shen, her KFC happened to be a 24-hour joint. The employees caught on eventually and became a bit concerned. After three days, they asked Shen if she was all right. Shen assured them she was and said she just needed time to think. Then she ordered another box of wings and large fries.

She wasn't causing any harm, so they let her stay. "She was a paying customer," one employee says, "even if a bit of an odd one."

Eventually Shen's think-and-wing-athon brought her to the conclusion that she should move home with her parents. "And I was getting sick of the taste of chicken so there was no point in staying there anymore."

The healing powers of fried chicken! It's something to behold, isn't it? I love that Shen did this -- I wish I'd done the same the last time my heart was broken.

I like to imagine Shen gnawing on those wings and softly singing to herself the Beatles song, "Blackbird."

Blackbird singing in the dead of night

Take these chicken wings and learn to fly

All your life

You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

It's going to be okay, Shen. It really is. You've been set free. You have everything you need. Now fly, girl. FLY!

What's your go-to comfort food for when you're depressed?

Image © iStock.com/magnez2

Fighting breast cancer is something one out of eight women do in their lifetime. Doctors are working on better treatments every day, but there's another surprising tool that can help those battling breast cancer: words. Here are 13 quotes about breast cancer that capture the courageous spirit that's so inspiring among women who have faced the disease.

More from The Stir: 7 Inspiring Quotes From Celebrities Who Have Battled Breast Cancer

Which quote speaks the most to you?

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Guess who's sleeping in Jessica Simpson's bed now? JLaw! Jennifer Lawrence just bought Simpson's house in Beverly Hills. The 5,500-square-foot home has five bedrooms, five and a half baths, a gourmet kitchen, a pool, a koi pond, and miles of climbing ivy. Simpson sold the house in 2013 for $6.4 million, so no one is sure if JLaw bought it back then, or if she bought it from an unknown owner this year. Regardless -- we're envious! Take a look at the pictures of this pad and tell us:

What do you think about this house -- would you love living here?

Image via RealEstate.com

We got the chance to chat with Food Network star Sunny Anderson about her favorite comfort foods (she just created several recipes for the hotel chain Extended Stay America).

"Anything in a mug is comfort food," she says. "It's something you cuddle up with."

And her go-to in-a-mug dish ismac and cheese. Ours, too! It's popular with moms and kids alike, and you can make a single serving in the microwave in minutes without sacrificing that yummy, creamy flavor.

And lucky us -- Anderson shared her own super easy mac and cheese in a mug recipe. It's one she swears by.

More from The Stir: 13 Precious Desserts in a Mug That Are Deceptively Easy to Make

Sunny Anderson's Mac & Cheese in a Mug

Ingredients:

Directions:

1. Put pasta in a mug and cover with water. Microwave for 2 minutes, stir, microwave 2 minutes more, stir, and microwave again for another couple minutes if you still want your pasta softer. Drain.

2. Pour in cream, shredded cheese, and seasonings immediately. Stir well and enjoy!

Image © iStock.com/Lauri Patterson

A man who returned from Guinea last week has become New York City's first Ebola patient and the fourth case in the US. Dr. Craig Spencer had been volunteering with Doctors Without Borders. He was rushed to the hospital yesterday with symptoms. We've learned that in the week leading up to that point, he'd ridden the subway, taken a cab, and went bowling. Needless to say, this has New Yorkers freaked out of their wits. 

I can understand that fear. I rode on one of the same subway lines Spencer did. It's an incredibly crowded city. Everyone is wondering WHY anyone would return from treating Ebola patients and then go bowling, of all things. Maybe don't go bowling if you've been hanging out with Ebola patients, you know?!?

But as frightening as this story seems, we should NOT be worrying about Ebola spreading from this case. Here's why.

1. Ebola is not contagious until you start exhibiting symptoms. All that time Spencer was bowling and riding taxis and the subway and brushing past potentially thousands of people -- he wasn't contagious. At all.

2. Ebola is spread only through bodily fluids. The only way Spencer could have passed on Ebola via bowling ball is if he'd already been exhibiting symptoms and then sneezed on the ball and handed it right over to you. Okay? Ebola is not an airborne disease. In fact, Ebola is even less contagious than HIV.

3. Spencer was checking his temperature twice a day. He knew he was at risk, and he was taking that seriously. He knew exactly what symptoms to look out for and took responsibility for monitoring himself.

More from The Stir: Could You & Your Family Get the Ebola Virus? 5 Things You Should Know

4. Spencer went to the hospital immediately when his symptoms started. Spencer only had a fever of 100.3 degrees when he was rushed to the hospital. That's how cautious he was being. When Liberian Ebola victim Eric Duncan first checked into the Dallas hospital, he was sent back home with antibiotics. I have no idea what those people were thinking, but NYC doctors learned from that mistake and aren't about to repeat it here. Spencer wasted no time in getting himself to the hospital.

5. Three people Spencer came in contact with have been quarantined. His fiancee and two friends may have come in contact with Spencer after he started showing symptoms. 

6. THIS TIME we were prepared to handle the emergency. In a statement, New York's Governor Cuomo said of the Ebola case:

Over the past few weeks, we have undertaken a thorough and coordinated effort alongside all relevant partners, from healthcare workers to the local and federal governments, in order to implement the appropriate precautions. 

Bellevue hospital, where Spencer is being treated, is one of eight in the state specially prepared to quarantine and handle Ebola patients.

7. Spencer had not treated any patients since his return. That would be scary.

As infectious diseases expert Dr. Aaron Glatt told me a couple weeks ago, "there are other things you should be much more concerned about." Like the flu, for example. Or diabetes. Or heart disease.

I would urge everyone who is worried to try this experiment: Compare the way media outlets that depend on ratings and advertiser dollars cover this case with the way public radio and television cover it. Turn off the TV. Pay attention to what's going on, right now, in your own life. Take a deep breath and have a moment of gratitude for your health and well-being.

Do you think people returning from affected countries in Africa should be quarantined upon return, regardless of whether they show symptoms of Ebola?

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How can something so gross be so adorable? I'm talking about vomiting jack-o'-lanterns, puking pumpkins. You carve your pumpkin, save the seeds and goop -- then you arrange the gunk so it looks like it's pouring out of your jack-o'-latern's mouth. EWW! But the seeds-and-strings trick is just the beginning. There are so many fun variations on this Halloween decoration idea, it's sick.

Which is your favorite? See them all and tell us!

Images © iStock.com/tshortell, © iStock.com/nantela

I love you. Those three little words mean an awful lot to all of us. Saying "I love you" for the first time is a major relationship milestone, one that a lot of men (and women) have a hard time reaching. Just ask former Bachelor star Juan Pablo Galavis. He STILL won't tell his girlfriend/final rose recipient Nikki Ferrell that he loves her after almost a year.

I know it's silly to care -- but you don't have to be a fan of the show to know that we all do. Why is that? What does it MEAN when he can't say "I love you" for the first time -- or afterwards on the regular, for that matter?

The easy answer is that he's obviously just not that into you. But is that really the case for everyone? Love and sex educator Dr. Kat Von Kirk doesn't think so. "Usually there's some other underlying core issue," she says. Here's what else may be behind a man's reluctance to say those three magic words.

1. He's afraid of vulnerability. "Maybe he doesn't want to expose his soft underbelly," says Dr. Kat. Saying those words means opening yourself to the possibility of being hurt. That scares some men.

2. He never learned to say it. A man's reluctance to say he loves you could come from never seeing his parents say it to each other. "Maybe his parents weren't very demonstrative. Kids pick up social cues from that, and it can delay your ability to express your feelings," Dr. Kat says.

3. He's not ready to take on the responsibility. "For some people, men in particular, when you say 'I love you,' you're copping to greater responsibility," Dr. Kat points out. Some men deeply revere that level of commitment and want to be very sure before they take the leap. Then again, Kat concedes, some guys are just commitmentphobes.

More from The Stir: Is Saying 'I Love You' Every Day Really Necessary for a Happy Marriage?

4. He's a doer, not a sayer. "Lots of guys say they love you by doing things for you," Dr. Kat says. And they're more comfortable expressing themselves that way than verbally. A good friend of mine has that kind of boyfriend. It took him ages to say it out loud, but in the meantime he devotedly nursed her back to health after she had surgery. She knew exactly how he felt, even if he couldn't say the words.

5. He doesn't feel like he can live up to his standards. "Everyone has a standard of what it means to have someone tell them they love you," Dr. Kat says. "If he puts people who say it up on a pedestal, he may feel he's suddenly going to be held to that standard, too." And what if he fails to measure up?

As an example, Dr. Kat says her husband's parents never fought. So when they got into their first arguments, it was deeply unsettling for him, because they weren't living up to the impossible standard set by his parents.

6. He thinks you're great, but ... Welp, maybe he really just doesn't love you. "There's always the possibility that a guy can appreciate you and cherish you but not necessarily be in love with you."

Regardless of the reason, Dr. Kat says, "It's a good time as an individual to examine your own motives, what your needs are, and why it's so important to hear those words." She also recommends having a conversation with your guy -- "not necessarily to get him to say those words, but so you can understand each other," Dr. Kat cautions.

And if you're past that first "I love you" but he still rarely says it, you can still use this as an opportunity to have a conversation about a sensitive topic. "The more conversation you have about it, the more you normalize it. And then you can decide what makes sense for your relationship," Dr. Kat says. "Most of all, it's important that you talk about what makes you feel loved. "Individuals have to be upfront about what their needs are."

Are you still waiting for that first "I love you" -- or do you wish your boyfriend or husband said it more often?

Image © iStock.com/MarcusPhoto1

Most tattoos tend to look a little gothic. That's the point, for a lot of people. But some ink goes farther. There's a sleeve full of thorny roses -- and then there's a sleeve full of skulls! Shiver. Halloween is obviously the perfect time of year to break out some of the spookiest ones. But be warned: Nightmares abound!

These are some of the creepiest tattoos we've ever seen. 

Dim the lights and have a look if you dare! Then tell us:

Which tattoo do you think is the creepiest?

Image © iStock.com/BeauSnyder

I still remember the day Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise announced their split -- it was the same weekend that my ex-husband and I separated. But aside from the timing and the countless photos of Katie with her daughter Suri, we don't know much at all about that interstellar divorce. Until now! Holmes is finally talking about her divorce in People magazine. And what she says is really interesting for those of us who've been there or are in the thick of it. She's given us a kind of mantra.

Holmes told People:

I don't have any fear now, I don't have a lot of rules for myself, and I don't take myself that seriously.

Okay, it's easy to read this and think it's about Holmes and Scientology. (Hello, RULES!) But let's look at the bigger picture. What does it mean to say this after you've ended your marriage and begun a new life on your own?

No more fear. If there's anything divorced moms have, it's truckloads of fear -- about supporting yourself and your kids, about your kids' emotional health, about managing the chaos of your life, and most of all about facing that big, dark, scary void ahead of you called the future.

I think what some of us find is that you have to look that fear in the eyes, like a child facing the monster under their bed. Face your fears, acknowledge them, and a weird thing happens. They lose their power. For the time being. Who doesn't want to be fearless?

Not a lot of rules for myself. This one is kind of mind-blowing -- shouldn't everyone have rules? But unnecessary rules can hold you back and keep you from growing. What worked before may not work now, and it's important to realize that and be willing to change.

You're creating a new life for yourself and your family. It's been helpful to me to lift some of my rules so I could explore a little. I've been trying to focus less on shoulds and focus more on figuring out what I value, what I need, and how I love.

Don't take myself so seriously. Oh yeah, THIS. All the soul-searching and rule-lifting and fear-facing can get heavy. I think it's helpful to laugh at yourself sometimes and remember you're just a speck in the universe.

I think on those rare moments when I take myself less seriously, I'm easier on myself. I'm less tortured by the many, many mistakes I make. Because if there's anything a divorced mom can count on, it's making loads of mistakes. To say nothing of what many of us may consider our biggest mistake -- marrying him! Well, get over it. You're not the first woman to make a marriage mistake and you certainly won't be the last (I tell myself). All failure is just an opportunity to learn and try something different.

What do you think of this divorce mantra?

Image © iStock.com/BrianAJackson

Ever wonder what it's like to be a high-paid escort? Not a desperate prostitute, but a woman who gets paid handsomely to have sex with clients of her own choosing? A former escort named "Svetlana Z" told her story in Medium. She calls herself a businesswoman. After fewer than five years she "retired" from the business to study film-making. But in that short time she saved up $200,000. She was making up to $900 an hour, and up to $9000 for the night. And in her essay, she spills the secrets to her success. Surprisingly, being good sex wasn't even the most important reason she made so much money.

Svetlana mentions there's plenty of young, pretty women in the escort business, but what's kept her in high demand has been her "work ethic" and her "attention to detail." What does that mean? Well, here's a few examples ... and maybe there's a few tricks the rest of us in ordinary ol' relationships can steal to keep our own sex lives exciting.

1. Be adventurous. To stand out, Svetlana knew she had to "deliver something special." And by that she means threesomes, BDSM, toys, role playing. Not that these are all for everyone, but I think being willing to try new things can help keep you both more interested.

2. A red manicure is hot. This was always Svetlana's color. Anything else, she said, was "taking a risk" -- whatever that means. But it does make me wonder what would happen if I maintained the same red manicure for a whole year.

3. Take care of what you've got. Long legs, a slim body, full lips -- Svetlana had some genetic advantages. But she takes care of herself, working with a trainer, eating vegetarian. And she spends boatloads on her makeup and lingerie. Obviously we all have our limitations, financial or otherwise. But the point is, use what you can to enhance what you have.

4. Use flattery. When she greets a man at the door she'll tell him he's handsome. What guy wouldn't want to hear that? I think compliments are contagious -- the more you give them, the more you receive them as well.

5. Be entertaining. Svetlana says guys like having sex with pretty girls, but "they also like to f--- interesting girls." So she tells them stories about her travels. In a long term relationship you lose a little mystery ... I think it helps to always be working on making yourself a more interesting person.

6. Ask for special treatment the sly way. Instead of demanding outright that her clients fly her first-class, Svetlana would say something like "'I have really long legs and in coach they get cramped, and then I lose my flexibility, I cannot do doggie style so good." Genius. A little honey goes a long way.

7. Have an orgasm. Svetlana admits she fakes hers. She says men don't really care so much about her pleasure. It's just that making her come makes her clients feel studly. If you're in a relationship, though, you want the real thing, and most relationship experts will tell you faking doesn't bring a couple closer together. Hopefully you're with a guy who feels studly when you come AND cares about your pleasure!

8. Show empathy. "Mostly, I offered understanding," Svetlana says. For most of her clients, the sex only took 15 minutes. What they were really buying, she says, was a listening ear, someone to be on their side. I think that's what we all want from an intimate relationships.

Now that Svetlana is not longer an escort, she's dabbling in dating. But she says something is missing.

If someone’s not paying you, you don’t have to do blow jobs, you don’t have to smile all the time, you can be yourself. But after a while you feel like something is missing. The something is money. You’re sitting in the same apartment, you’re the same you, but something is missing. Your wallet is empty. Sex is sex, but money is money.

Everyone, join with me now: BUT WHAT ABOUT LOVE?? I get what Svetlana means about the money, though.

What do you think about Svetlana's tips for success?

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So much of what we moms do nearly every day is invisible -- and I'm not just talking about the kissed boo-boos, the cleaned-up spills, the shoe-tying. There's a whole lot more moms do -- for ourselves! Behind his back! -- when we think our husbands aren't watching. 

So what are some of these things? And how do we get away with them? We have compiled about 20. See if you do some of these yourself and, please, don't tell our husbands! Shhhhh ....

Check out all 20 and then tell us:

How many of these do you do when your husband isn't looking?

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We still don't know if the rumors that Here Comes Honey Boo Boo's June Shannon is dating convicted child molester and ex-boyfriend Mark McDaniel are true. We dearly hope they're not. But if she is, she certainly wouldn't be the first woman to keep loving someone who sexually abuses her own children. Meanwhile, there is that ugly, troubling question we can't help wondering: WHY? Why would any mother remain in a relationship with a child molester?

1. Denial.Lanada Williams, family therapist and host of radio program The Lanada Williams Show, says some mothers aren't able to process the news that their child is being abused. "Some go into protective mode," she says, and they start using defense mechanisms, like deciding the abuse didn't happen just because they didn't witness it. "They feel numb and become very focused on the present."

2. Sexual abuse in your own past. "There are parents who have experienced sexual abuse as children," Williams says, "and they may not be ready to face that and work through it." But facing your own past could be key to facing what's happening in the present.

"I've never met someone who would stay with the man unless they had a story in their own backyard," says Lynette Louise, mental health expert and mother who left her own husband when she found out he was abusing their daughter.

Usually something has happened to them and so they had to make it acceptable, or their family made it acceptable, and now their brain has found a place to believe, 'This isn't such a big deal.'

More from The Stir: Why Good Women Stay in Bad Relationships

3. Focusing on the child, not the relationship. It's easy to assume that a mother who stays with an abuser doesn't care about her child. But on the contrary, Williams says sometimes "you're not able to sever the relationship because you're so focused on the child and making sure they're safe." You would think that splitting up would serve that purpose, but it's not always that simple. Ending the relationship takes time and energy, too.

4. Believing you can work it out. In cases of married couples (30 percent of perpetrators of sexual abuse are family members), Williams says, sometimes the wife stays because she doesn't believe in divorce for religious or other reasons. "Or she may believe in true forgiveness and want to work through therapy."

This could be denial at work again. But therapist Dr. Nancy Irwin, who works with sex offenders and victims, points out that "sometimes offenders learn from their mistakes and never re-offend. It is not a popular belief, but it happens more than folks want to acknowledge." (According to one study, offenders in effective treatment programs are 40 percent less likely to commit new sex crimes. But it really has to be the right program.)

5. Blaming the victim. In some especially unhealthy environments, the mother will actually blame her child. This is more common when the victim is a preteen or teen. Williams says the mother may accuse her child of wearing provocative clothing or say that her child was "asking for it."

6. Inability to reconcile goodness and pathology in the same person. "We all want to see the goodness in people," Williams says. And women who love abusive men aren't any different. They may say "but he's a really great father, he's a great provider, he's always taken good care of us." Meanwhile they just don't realize how harmful the sexual abuse really is for their child.

Williams doesn't believe that women stay out of selfishness. "I have not seen that in my practice," she says. Women who could be classified as narcissist aren't delusional or disconnected from reality, she says. "You can be very self-absorbed and unable to make social connections, but that's very different from not being able to recognize when someone's in great pain." It's more complicated than that, she says.

I think we can all agree that if a mother finds out her child is being sexually abused by her husband or romantic partner, she needs to remove her child from the home as soon as possible. But if she fails to do that, or doesn't do it quickly enough, we shouldn't judge her as a monster who cares more about "keeping her man" than her child's well-being. It's never that simple.

Do you have any experience with this issue? What have women you know done when they were informed that their husband or boyfriend was sexually abusing their child?

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Do the Ebola-related quarantines go far enough -- or do they go too far? Kaci Hickox, the Maine nurse quarantined in New Jersey after treading patients in West Africa, has returned home. But nowHickox is fighting the quarantineimposed by the state of Maine. She says there's no scientific reason why she should be confined home. Is she right? Is she really being bullied just so the rest of us will feel safer?

Hickox threatened that if restrictions weren't lifted on her by this morning, she would "go to court to fight for my freedom." She said on NBC's Today:

I truly believe this policy is not scientifically nor constitutionally just, and so I am not going to sit around and be bullied around by politicians and be forced to stay in my home when I am not a risk to the American public.

Later this morning, as if to prove her point, Hickox went on an hour-long bike ride with her boyfriend -- openly defying her order to stay home. "I hope that we can continue negotiations and work this out amicably," Hickox said. "There is no legal action against me, so I’m free to go on a bike ride in my hometown."

More from The Stir: Ebola Victims Are Being Treated Terribly & It Needs to Stop Now

For Hickox, this is about her rights as an American and it's about respecting science. Like it or not, she's right about the public safety aspect. She doesn't have symptoms, she's tested negative, and it's been 21 days since her last contact with an Ebola patient; therefore, she's not contagious.

So why do so many of us still wish she'd just stay home?

Many of the circumstances of the Ebola virus are new to us. Politicians and the public are still learning about the disease. And there's a lot about this virus that can be hard to accept. How can something so deadly and horrific, and so difficult to contain in West African countries, not pose the same threat here in the US?

I think the quarantines are erring far, FAR on the side of caution. And I think they have a lot more to do with quelling public hysteria and saving face than with the actual threat. We, the public, are being treated like tantrum-throwing children who won't listen to reason.

As usual, sentiment and fear win over science. Well done, everyone! Way to miss an opportunity to grow yourselves. We're keeping a hero prisoner because we JUST CANNOT with THE EBOLA. I admire that Hickox risked her life to treat Ebola patients. I understand why she won't risk her freedom to save people from their own fear. I think she's right to fight her quarantine.

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How do you feel about Hickox defying her quarantine?

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