Hope you're enjoying the last of your garden's treasures, because now that fall is here, it's time to say goodbye to homegrown fruit and veggies. It was nice knowin' ya! The growing season is definitely over.

OR IS IT??

True, growing most fruit and vegetables requires two things typically in short supply indoors: sunlight and space. So you're not likely to cultivate any prize beefsteak tomatoes and giant pumpkins in your house this winter, if that's what you were thinking. 

Though maybe you read our handy little primer on growing your own pumpkins, which is fantastic if you did, because now you won't have to spend a bundle on your Halloween jack-o'-lanterns! If not, save it for next year. Just know that you definitely CAN still grow fruit and vegetables right in your own home in the cooler weather. Here's how...

Click through the slides below -- wouldn't it be great to grow #5 & #10 in the kitchen instead of having to go to the store? 

Image © iStock.com/mediaphotos © iStock.com/JZhuk

Since when does a BEER commercial make us cry? Budweiser's "Friends Are Waiting" ad against drunk driving marking Global Be(er) Responsible Day has utterly melted my heart into a puddle of sticky goo. And it'll do the same to yours when you see it. Why? Because it's about a hot guy and his lovable, loyal dog, that's why.

No, it's more than that. The ad starts when the guy's dog is just a puppy. You see that adorable pup grow and bond with Mr. Cute (to the croonings of songwriter Dan Rodriguez). There is so much sun-lit love here between man and dog, it'll make you swoon. Then one day, Mr. Cute heads out the door with a six-pack of beer and a gang of his friends, telling his dog, "I'll see you later, buddy." What happens next will make your heart stop.

Buddy waits. And waits. And waits. And waits. All night. The sadness, the aching loneliness, the anxiousness. It's almost too much. Where is Mr. Cute? Oh no -- the beer! Did he foolishly drink and drive? Did something terrible happen?!? No, dear God no, this relationship is too beautiful to be broken like that!

The ominous words appear: "For some, the waiting never ended."

See this video on The Stir by CafeMom.

OH MY GOD! Aren't you so relieved when Mr. Cute walks back in the door the next morning? Not nearly as relieved as the dog is, of course. But wow, you really get it, watching this now-viral video, which got a staggering 15 million shares in five days -- and counting. 

We all have someone in our lives who wants us to get home safely. Someone who would be devastated if we made a terrible choice that cut us out of their lives forever.

More from The Stir: Mom Arrested for Killing 2 of Her 4 Kids in Drunk Driving Accident

Sure Mr. Cute made his dog wait up all night, anxious and worried. (Because you can't call your dog from your friend's house.) But it was worth it, to postpone coming home until he was sober enough to drive.

We're so used to seeing horror stories about drunk driving: The tragic car crashes, the debilitating injuries, the deaths. I like this new approach, which reminds us of the people and animals we love, and who love us back.

Could love be stronger than horror in persuading people to drink responsibly? If it looks like this, I think it might be!

What's the #1 thing that gets you to make responsible choices when you drink (if you do drink)?

Image via Budweiser/YouTube

I'm generally a happy person. I set my intentions every morning to practice patience and compassion. And most of the time, I roll with whatever comes my way.

But I have my triggers. Moms, do you know what I'm talking about? It happens when you're at your weakest. You're exhausted, you've had a frustrating day, and someone (probably some little person) pushes you a hair too far and YOU LOSE IT.

It's okay. We all do it from time to time. That's why you'll love this supercut video of lady rage-- women in TV and movies unleashing their fury. You're gonna want to bookmark this one!

More from The Stir: 10 Signs You Are Seriously Hangry (Hungry + Angry)

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AHHHH! I feel so much better now. Don't you?

I love how it builds slowly, with Amy Adams looking genuinely surprised at her own rage. The tempers rise with Amy Poehler's "NO!" And Kristen Wiig destroying that giant, stupid cookie in Bridesmaids. Then dishes come crashing to the ground. Kerry Washington's Olivia Pope lets slip that something has NOT! been handled after all. There's a lot of screaming, a lot of punching and throwing.

And finally, Angelina Jolie calmly fires off a few rounds just before Jennifer Lawrence shoots an arrow right through an apple in someone's hand.

Did you catch that? After all the tantrums, the women become focused. Focused and effective.

I don't know about you, but I think there's something inspiring about that. I love that this video doesn't end with a total meltdown of a woman crying helplessly in a heap. Nope. In this little tale of fury, we harness that anger and we get stuff done.

Now you can really relate, right, moms?

After you lose it and yell at your kids, you send them to their rooms to THINK ABOUT WHAT THEY'VE JUST DONE. Or you and your husband go to your separate corners to cool off. And then you do some thinking, too. You get hyper-focused about what you need to change, what rule needs to be tweaked, what new strategy you need to try, what kind of help you need to reach out for.

Sometimes rage is a wake-up call to fix something. And that's what we moms do. We fix things. So save this video the next time you surrender to fury. And don't be ashamed. Feel empowered.

How did this video make you feel?

Image © iStock.com/Jayka

We’re all for trying new things in the bedroom. But sometime those "exciting" sex positions we read about? Yeah … they’re not so sexy in real life. You know it's too complicated when you feel like you’re both about to fall over on your faces. And the ones that twist you up into a pretzel and pull a muscle? Ouch! Is this yoga class or sex?!?

No one knows this better than Cosmo – the magazine that’s been churning out zany sex tips stories for decades. So who better to make fun of Karma Sutra disasters? The magazine got a couple to try out Cosmo sex positions IN PUBLIC. And they took video of the whole thing!

Don’t worry, it’s actually safe for work. And you're definitely going to want to see the spectacle.

Our fearless lovers don flesh-toned body stockings and plunk their blanket and pillow next to a busy city fountain (romantic!). Meanwhile, shocked onlookers can only gasp and point as the two weirdos commence to acting out the positions, mostly unsuccessfully.

First up was the "Erotic Accordian" -- and if the name is any indication you know it's going to be all about AWKWARD. He lies on his back with his knees up, she squats over him, legs become entwined, and ... it kind of looks like how bugs have sex.

The position "Yes, Yes, Yes" sounds more promising. She lies on her belly while he lies on top of her and somehow worms his way in. (Yeah, sorry about that.) Needless to say this is WAY too counter-intuitive to work.

More from The Stir: 12 Sex Positions That Really Hit 'The Spot'

"Rock a Bye Booty" at least has the couple facing each other in a sitting position. They each open their legs around each other, knees bent, and surprise! That one actually looks do-able and fun. So does "Wanton Wheelbarrow" -- despite the goofy name.

They move on to "Head over Heels," which has him holding her upside-down. They can't even get into the position! It's physically impossible for them. Just NO. Actually, it may be my favorite only because it's the funniest. Have a look!

See this video on The Stir by CafeMom.

Aren't you worn out just by watching these two? Well, after you recover you should check back in again because this is just the first in a series. Cosmo has at least two more "Sex Positions" videos, maybe more to come. We can only hope! They're like anti-porn, in a way, aren't they?

We love that Cosmo can laugh at itself like this. And we love how the videos help us laugh at sex in general, too!

Have you ever tried a crazy sex position that didn't work out for you at all?

Image via © iStock.com/101dalmatians, Cosmopolitan.com/YouTube

There's something scary a lot of women do, whether we're in a new relationship or we've been married for years: We imagine how it will all end. Maybe it's how he'll die tragically in an accident, or maybe he's going to cheat on you, you're sure of it. But we carry around these fears and we let them torture us.

Can you relate? Do you do that, too?

Going there every once in a while isn't such a big deal. Everyone does it. But for some of us, these dark fantasies become obsessions, and they can lead us to some irrational, undermining actions. Our fears can end up ruining our relationships.

There are five main fears women have that tend to undermine their relationships, says psychologist Michelle Skeen, author of Love Me Don't Leave Me: Overcoming Fear of Abandonment & Building Lasting, Loving Relationships. And just as you'd expect, these anxieties usually come straight from our childhood and other past experiences.

Recognizing your fears, Skeen says, is the key to building the healthy, loving relationships you need.

1. Fear of abandonment: This is the biggie, Skeen says. Women with this fear tend to think, People who love me will leave me or die, or No one has ever been there for me. They're unpredictable and in the end I will be alone.

This worry can come from a single experience or from people repeatedly moving in and out of your life. "Those experiences," Skeen says, "can make you feel like people aren't always going to be there. And they can get triggered by something as simple as someone not getting back to a text message quickly enough for you."

2. Fear of abuse: People with this fear tend to think, "I always get hurt by people close to me," Skeen says, or "People will take advantage of me if I don't protect myself." Unfortunately, she adds, "Sometimes a woman's fear of abandonment will make them tolerate abuse in order to keep their partner from leaving them." 

3. Fear of not getting your emotional needs met: This is a feeling of loneliness, Skeen says. "It's about not getting anyone in your life who loves you and not feeling emotionally connected to anyone." Women with this fear tell themselves, People close to me won't take the time to understand my emotions.

4. Fear of your flaws: If people really knew me, they'd reject me, says the voice inside your head. "As you get closer to someone and develop a relationship, you may worry about being seen as a whole person with flaws," Skeen says. "Then you worry that when your partner sees who you really are, he'll leave. You feel ashamed of your faults and try to present a false self."

5. Fear of failure: "This is not feeling as successful as your peers, not feeling as smart, not feeling like you measure up," Skeen says. You've failed at everything else. Why shouldn't you expect your relationship to fail as well?

Here's the good news: You don't have to try to repress these fears. "Our minds are like a popcorn machine with thoughts popping up all the time," Skeen says. "We can't change our thoughts, but we can accept them without judging ourselves for having them. Stay in the present and stop trying to predict the future according to the past."

And while you can't control your feelings or the people in your life, "you can control how you respond to them," Skeen adds. That's how you keep your fears from completely destroying perfectly good relationships.

Do any of these sound familiar? What relationship fears do you have?

Images © iStock.com/Courtney Keating © iStock.com/mediaphotos

How do you feel when you look in the mirror? When I look, the first thing I zero in on is my flaws. My eyes always seem to look tired. I have those worry lines between my brows. Speaking of brows, mine are way overdue for grooming. And is that a zit trying to grow there on my chin? I woke up like this. SIGH.

Looking in the mirror is one of the first things we do in the morning, and that moment often decides how we feel about ourselves for the rest of the day. How do we turn around that instant so we feel great about ourselves instead of bad?

One band in Austin, Texas decided to take on that challenge. The Mrs. set up a mirror in a shopping mall andinvited women to take a look at themselves in a project they're promoting with the hashtag "#imEnough." What happened next will definitely change how you feel the next time YOU look in the mirror.

I don't want to give too much away here. You just have to see what they do.

See this video on The Stir by CafeMom.

That's beautiful, isn't it? It's both humbling and uplifting. We're just not seeing the full picture of who we are. 

I admit, I was skeptical at first. We've already seen other videos about changing how women see themselves when we look in the mirror. So I was thinking, Really? This again?!? Are women so pathetic that we need this constant affirmation?

But their approach is totally different. It's not about recognizing that you, too, are "pretty." It's about recognizing that you are so much more than your face. You are everything you do, your connections, your emotions. And all of that can be incredibly beautiful.

And yes, when we consider it all in this new way, we will hopefully realize that we are all "enough" -- more than enough, really. We're all valuable in so many ways beyond our looks. And beauty really isn't just skin-deep. And those are powerful messages that need to be heard.

What did you think of this video -- did it change how you see yourself?

Image © iStock.com/DawidMarkiewicz

Know why Beyonce is Beyonce? Here's one reason: Because Beyonce knows how to do wardrobe malfunctions like a professional. This weekend she joined husband Jay Z on stage for the live Global Citizens Concert in a plunging lace blouse with high-waisted pants. Early into her performance after Bey gave a little shimmy with some hops, that blouse decided to stop doing its job. It was all, "SEE YA!" as it just gave way under the stress of the performance.

But that didn't cause Queen Bey to quit. She kept going! Watch how she recovers when her blouse goes AWOL.

"Peace out, y'all!" says Beyonce's blouse as it falls to either side.

Thank goodness Mrs. Carter was wearing a good bra, or this would be a very different story! Here she is, realizing what just happened.

"I know!" she's thinking, "I'll blind my fans with a flash of my super-huge diamond wedding ring! They won't suspect a thing!"

A split second later, all is forgotten as Beyonce clutches her bosom out of passion (also to hold her blouse together but shhh!).

Somehow, and this is the truly magical thing, she manages to re-tuck what came undone, and in no time she's back to dancing, hair-flipping, and singing like nothing ever happened.

That's the kind of seasoned performer Beyonce is, and of course just about any other pop star would do the same. But what I really liked was that she was prepared for this wardrobe malfunction. If she'd been busy "pushing boundaries" (like some other pop stars) and had gone on stage braless, we would have seen a whole lot more, and it might have taken her longer to recover.

There's probably a good reason why Bey was able to do all that dancing in those teeny-tiny bodysuits in her On the Run tour.

So I've learned an important lesson here. If you're going to wear something daring, and you're not planning to stand around like a statue, make certain you've got adequate wardrobe support. Prepare for the worst and you'll be a lot more relaxed in your sexy low-cut blouse or high-cut skirt.

See this video on The Stir by CafeMom.

Would you ever dare to wear a blouse as low-cut as Beyonce's?

Image via Rick Davis / Splash News

Hey, want to hear another story about generous diners? SUPER! So this couple left a huuuuge tip and -- wait, why are your eyes glazing over? You have to hear the whole story! We SWEAR this one is different from the others.

Here's why: This couple left a $100 tip for lousy service.

You read that right. Bad service, 150 percent tip. Why'd they do it? Well, that's the really cool part.

Mackenzie and Steven Schultz shared a photo of their bill in a Facebook post. Ms. Schultz says it took 20 minutes to get water, 40 minutes to get their appetizers, and over an hour to get their entrees. That's enough to enrage any diner. Some might even walk out somewhere between the app and the entree. But not this couple.

More from The Stir: Waitress Gets Shockingly Huge Tip But There's a Catch

The thing is, Ms. Schultz explains, the restaurant was vastly understaffed and their server was working 12 tables. A DOZEN! So no wonder it took them so long to get everything. And as former restaurant servers themselves, the Schultzes could relate to their waiter's predicament.

Instead of getting angry, they dug deep and found some compassion.

Pretty cool, right?

I think it's easy to hear a story like this and think, Oh, well, I'm not a jerk. I would be just as understanding as the Schultzes! But would you, really? I'll be the first to admit, I'm not so sure I would be. I am constantly suffering lapses in compassion. And when I'm hungry? MS. HULK SMASH TABLE WHEN NOT GET FOOD FAST ENOUGH.

But this inspires me to do better. And that's why Mackenzie and Steven posted their receipt. It wasn't to boast of their generosity, but to remind us all to be more understanding of our fellow human beings, especially when we least feel like it.

Honestly -- how do you usually respond when the service is super slow at a restaurant?

Images via © iStock/dwphotos, Facebook

Usually when we talk about Nicki Minaj, we talk about booty. But today is a different day. Over the weekend Nicki Minaj shared a "revealing" selfie thanking her stylists for her beguiling new look: A short bob, big cat-eyes, and black bra, which you can barely make out because ZOMG, BOOBS. It's a wonder I noticed the hair and eyeliner at all, the way her girls are taking over.

And one can't help notice, since they are staring out at you so very plaintively ("Look at us! Look at us!"), there is a wee bit of something illicit peeking out as well. I think you know what I'm talking about.

We see about a centimeter of La Minaj's areolas. Which means we're in nipple territory. Which means a violation of Instagram's no-nipple policy. Does this mean we can go full-throttle with the breastfeeding selfies now, Instagram? Because LOOK: Nicki Minaj's nipples are showing.

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To tell you the truth, there's actually not much to make a fuss over here. It turns out, those little slivers of pigment are not terribly exciting. If anything they highlight how boobs are so much MORE than nipples, you know? Why is that part of the breast even that big of a deal?

In fact, some sites are even blurring out the "offending" parts. Why? There's hardly anything to blur! Are we afraid Minaj's lady parts are going to burn people's retinas? Because if we're talking about Minaj, retinal damage by nipple exposure is the LEAST of our concerns.

I'm just saying. All this brouhaha over to nip or not to nip is silly. For all the flap we make over them, why don't nipples have magical powers? Why are they not making the wearers fly or bend steel? Why aren't they also naturally glittery? See what I mean? They're so very ordinary.

So you know what I say to Nicki Minaj's trending so-called "nip slip"? Meh. Meh to you! Meh.

Do you think we make way too much out of seeing women's nipples?

Image via Joe Sutter, PacificCoastNews

We all know how to take care of our skin, right? Cleanse it gently, moisturize, stay out of the sun, something along those lines ... It's not rocket science, but there are a lot of simple mistakes many of us are making with our skin right now. And just think -- you could make your skin glow a little brighter just by dropping these harmful habits.

Some of the most common skincare mistakes might surprise you! Are you making any of the top 10 mistakes?

Image via PeopleImages/iStock

Do you ever gaze longingly at Blake Lively's perfect tresses and wonder: HOW! Does ANYONE? GET? SUCH! AMAZING! HAIR?!? I mean, obviously it's half the gift of the genetic gods. But you know most A-list celebs have a whole flock of expert hair groomers keeping their locks shiny, bouncy, and divine -- down to the perfect blow dry.

Oh if only we could trade places for a day, right? If only we had the time and the resources to get that hair. Here are 11 celebs whose gorgeous blow dry alone we'd gladly take, not to mention their hair!

Click through the slideshow below, then tell us:

Whose hair in Hollywood would you want if you could have it? 

Image © iStock.com/puhhha

Here's a spooky question: While you're out trick-or-treating with the kids, whooo will be cooking your dinner? Halloween night always presents that dilemma. You're busy getting costumes together, maybe volunteering at the school party, and running your kids all over the neighborhood. You kind of need dinner to cook itself that night! But not by a ghost.

So here are 6 simple but cozy dinner ideas for Halloween night that will let you do your haunting and still fill your family's bellies when you're all done.

Images © iStock.com/MSPhotographic, © iStock.com/volgariver

Looking for easy, fall dinner ideas? We've got you covered! Here are 20 Crock-Pot recipes to keep your whole family running through the season. No more wondering, What the heck do I make for dinner tonight?? THIS. One of these slow cooker dishes is what's for dinner. With so many yummy recipes, in fact, this could become your new favorite cookbook. Which recipe will become your family's favorite?

More from The Stir: 14 Crock-Pot Dinners Kids Can Serve Themselves

Image ©iStock.com/matt6t6

Poor Amal Alamuddin's 12-year-old flower girl. Did you hear? The wedding dress train was too heavy for her to carry alone! This came out in Vogue magazine's behind-the-scenes recap of Alamuddin's fitting with Oscar de la Renta.

Alamuddin's mother wanted more fabric added to the skirt, but alas: "This is voted against by committee, one reason being that the role of train shepherd is already deemed too much for Tala’s 12-year-old daughter, Mia, who is Alamuddin’s only flower girl ... "

Record scratch.

Wait. Her mom wanted more fabric on the skirt? There was a wedding dress committee? TRAIN SHEPHERD?!?

It sounds like designing Alamuddin's wedding dress was quite the complicated dance. Not only did she have her mom weighing in (like many brides do) but an entire wedding dress committee. That's a lot of opinions and ideas for Alamuddin and de la Renta to juggle. It's great to have the advice of trusted loved ones, but it's also probably stressful, too!

Usually, when you see a bride in her dress, you know you're seeing HER: The bride's vision for her look, the day, and her marriage in general. I mean, I know it's "just a dress" but that's just a phrase we whip out when we notice we're getting too stressed out over it. The wedding dress is SO NOT just a dress.

But with such a high-profile wedding, maybe Alamuddin felt like it was too important a decision to leave up to only her own judgment. I mean, she married a movie star and she knew her wedding photos would be scrutinized by millions around the world. The pressure!

And maybe what she also wanted her dress to say was "family" -- she's not just an individual, she is a daughter, a niece, a cousin.

More from The Stir: George Clooney & Amal Alamuddin Show Off Wedding Rings in 1st Married Outing (PHOTOS)

But this phrase "train shepherd" and the idea that said train was too heavy for a 12-year-old to carry is kind of funny. Is it me, or do you think Vogue included those details just to be cheeky and provocative?

Anyway, this should put things into perspective for non-celeb brides. You want your dress to be perfect, but at least you don't have to worry about looking perfect in People and Hello! magazines! Here's to simpler weddings for us ordinary mortals.

How involved did you want your mom to be in your wedding dress selection?

Images via Splash News, Hello!

If childhood is a religion, does that make moms saints or sinners? That's what we're wondering after reading this scandalous essay in Quartz, "How American Parenting Is Killing the American Marriage." It's about how we've turned parenting into a kind of religion, which in turn makes it pretty darn hard for a couple to keep the flames of passion alight. Sound familiar -- or crazy?

I think it explains a lot. As far as I can tell, moms are not allowed to enjoy sex. Sure we're allowed some romance. And we can care an awful lot about pleasing husbands in bed. But when it comes to our own pleasure, forget it. Too dangerous! Too risky. Moms who love sex are responsible for the downfall of civilization.

I'm not talking about being sexy (looking hot so your husband will still want to have sex with you, which keeps the family together). I'm talking about being sexual, being someone who feels sexy, who has desires, who allows herself to feel pleasure.

If you put your kids first above all other things, that means love and sex will always take a back seat. And since parenting is ALL CONSUMING and will take EVERYTHING you're willing to give, it becomes a zero-sum game where romance loses.

More from The Stir: Straight Women Are Cheating Themselves Out of Something Huge in Bed

But what's really interesting is the way the article points out this is mostly mothers' problem. Back in 2005 writer Ayelet Walman dared to reveal in writing that she loves her husband more than her kids -- and was practically burned at the stake for it. Here's what we learned from her experience, according to Quartz.

Mothers are also holy in a way that fathers are not expected to be. Mothers live in a clean, cheerful world filled with primary colors and children’s songs, and they don’t think about sex. A father could admit to desiring his wife without seeming like a distracted parent, but society is not as willing to cut Ms. Waldman that same slack. It is unseemly for a mother to enjoy pleasures that don’t involve her children.

I mean, that's the crux of it. Nothing is more important than your kids, which too many people interpret as nothing is important except your kids, if you're a mom.

You can trace this idea back to the Victorian era, but who cares. It's 2014 and we should have moved on by now. I think we use motherhood as a way to control women's sexuality. Because if you're really in tune with your own sexuality, really paying attention to it, feeding it, exploring it, you know something rather dangerous: Women's sexuality is complex and powerful stuff. And a lot of men are seriously intimidated by it.

They're afraid we'll run off with the milkman. But worse, they're afraid they can't satisfy us. They're afraid of keeping up with us. So what's the answer? Deny that moms' sexuality even exists. Keep us so busy we lose touch with our desires.

Don't fall for it, mothers everywhere. It's a lie.

Ever notice how all the reasons we give for not feeling sexual come from the same place? We don't love our post-baby bodies partly because we don't feel justified in prioritizing the alone time to work out. That's selfish! Getting enough rest so you actually have the energy to have sex? That's selfish. Telling a man what would please you in bed? Selfish. How would you even know, anyway, unless you'd actually stopped thinking about your children for five seconds and allowed yourself to daydream about pleasure? You selfish witch child-killer, you.

Can you be a good mother and enjoy a mind-blowing sex life? YES. But it takes a rebellious spirit. You are going to have to put yourself first sometimes. (Just like fathers so often do.) You'll have to feel confident that the time and attention you give your kids is enough, even though it has limits. And you'll have to create a much bigger, bolder vision of what it means to be YOU, a woman who happens to be a mother, than what our culture currently allows you to have.

Are you that rebellious? Are you that daring? You could be.

What do you think is the biggest challenge moms face in feeling sexual?

Image © iStock.com/Moncherie

Oh, so you want some Halloween treats that aren't loaded with sugar? How about a nice, big scoop of GET OFFA MY LAWN, KID!

Oh, we're just kidding! Dealing with the candy hurricane every Halloween can be such a headache, though. Right? You don't want to be a total witch and forbid all candy. But I think we all appreciate it when someone is creative enough to find something else equally fun to hand out to trick-or-treaters. Here are a few ideas!

Check out the slideshow below, then tell us: What do you hand out on Halloween?

Image © iStock.com/ArtMarie

Where are all the single guys? Quick, grab a cosmo and let's go look for them! They've gotta be around here, somewhere ... If you're single and looking for love, it helps if you've got a deep and wide pool for your search. Well guess what? Pew Research has created THE nation-widesingle guy treasure map.

The interactive map shows you the ratios -- how many bachelors there are compared with bachelorettes (because your life is not a dating reality TV show). But it does more. It also shows you how many bachelors have the ONE very important factor that seems to matter most to single ladies.

A whopping eight out of ten unmarried women say that it's "very important" that their future Mr. has a job. That's the second thing the interactive map shows -- where the single employed men are. Okay! Now we're in business.

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Are you willing to move to the city of Clarksville on the border of Kentucky and Tennessee? Because there are 145 employed men for every 100 women. So you can go ahead and book your flight now. But first -- can we talk about what this map doesn't show?

Not so long ago I was a single lady looking where the odds are dreadful -- New York City, where there are 82 employed men to women. I defied the odds! And I got myself a gainfully employed boyfriend. But that's not why we're a couple. What really makes him such an excellent partner is a whole set of much more important characteristics I wish this map showed.

What about showing us where the emotionally available men are? The skilled communicators? The ones who have healthy relationships with their mothers? The ones who send flowers, who send flirty texts for no reason, who know that sex isn't over until you climax. THAT'S what single women really need in a man.

More from The Stir: The 11 Most Annoying Things Single Women Don't Want to Hear

Being employed tells you a lot about a person -- their future prospects, their level of education, their stability. But it's also something that's not entirely under your control. You could be laid off, for example, through no fault of your own. It's an important factor -- you don't want to voluntarily take on the stress of living with a chronically unemployed man -- but you have to see it in context.

Still ... it's something every single woman wants to know about. And what the heck, you have to admit this map is pretty darn interesting, even if just in an FYI way. Maybe if you're feeling like there are "no" single guys, you'll find out the odds are more in your favor than you think.

What characteristics would you like this map to show?

Image © iStock.com/tommasolizzul

Before we get into this story about divorce cakes, we want to offer this disclaimer: We are NOT saying divorce is something to celebrate. We're just saying: The whole process can be a draining, exhausting slog, and you can't blame a woman for wanting to rejoice when it's settled.

I know when my own divorce is finalized, I am definitely getting myself a tasty and well-earned dessert. But not just any old dessert. I'm talking about a divorce cake. It's like a wedding cake but it's for ... the other thing. The end of a marriage.

Sounds politically incorrect and offensive, you say? Okay, fine. But we have elaborate, beautifully crafted cakes for every other big life event ... Why shouldn't divorce have its day in the sun too? It's just a little treat to commemorate another milestone, something to sweeten a bitter experience. Check out these 11 inspiring divorce cake creations!

Click through the slideshow below, then tell us: Would you EVER dream of getting a cake like #7, divorce or no divorce?!

Image © iStock.com/liveslow, © iStock.com/ClarkandCompany

There's this funny line in Judd Aptow's movie This Is 40 where Leslie Mann's character marvels at the gravity-defying breasts of her employee, played by Megan Fox. "Are those REAL?" she asks. "Yeah," Fox's character says. "I'm just young." I can't help thinking of that moment now that Fox is being accused of using Botox -- again.

While Fox was doing publicity for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in Germany, fans called her out on Twitter or having work done. "Is this Megan Botox on the sofa?" and "Megan Fox was the epitome of beauty to me. Until Botox came into play." So did she or didn't she? And more to the point, WHY WOULD SHE? Fox is just 28 years old, after all.

Fox was accused of getting needled back in 2011, when she refuted claims by posting a series of photos to her Facebook page under the heading, "Things You Can't Do With Your Face When You Have Botox."

Okay, fair enough. But if you look at photos of the actress going back to the beginning of her career in 2005, it seems pretty clear she's done quite a bit of something over the years. The blog Beauty Editor posted images of Fox over the past decade that suggest she's had work done, from a nose job to skin resurfacing to yes, injectables. We're not just talking forehead-smoothing Botox, but also fillers in her cheeks and lips. So honestly, to that German Twitter user who acts so surprised that his epitome of beauty is using Botox: NOW? You're just now noticing this?

But that's assuming Fox really is messing with her face, and we don't know that for certain.

If she is, though, that's a pretty scary statement on the pressures of looking young and perfect in Hollywood. I mean, the nose job and the skin resurfacing are one thing (psst, please, someone, give me some of that skin resurfacing -- it's amazing!). I think just about every movie star has done that. Well, okay, maybe not Steve Buscemi. But Botox -- when she's still under 30?!?

More from The Stir: 6 Natural-Looking Celebrities You'd Never Guess Are Using Botox

Unless Fox is smoking like a chimney (I'm sure she's not) or the two babies have made it impossible for her to sleep, ever (possible), she should still probably have a smooth forehead. At least, that's what I recall from way back in ye olden days, when I was but a young lass of 28. But then I also have a friend who had major forehead creases in her 20s -- sometimes it's just a genetic thing.

Regardless, it makes me sad that a woman still in her 20s would feel pressure to have work to make herself look younger. If that's what's going on here. Which, again, we can't really say for sure. But honestly, I am so sick of Hollywood's psychopathic fear of real-life imperfections!

What do you think about people using age-defying cosmetic treatments while they're still in their 20s?

Image via B. Cool / Splash News, Megan Fox/Facebook

So. Like almost everyone else in the country I saw Gone Girl this weekend. ZOMG!!! Right? That was! Whoa. I stayed up half the night talking it all over with my boyfriend. Because it's twisted, but it's more than that. What makes Gone Girl so utterly creepy is how relatable it is.

SPOILER ALERT! Imma stop myself right here and let you know this post is filled with spoilers. So if you haven't seen the movie yet, STOP READING THIS RIGHT NOW and go read this post about a young newlywed planning to die around her husband's birthday instead.

The rest of you: Let's talk.

As I was saying: What I found creepiest about Gone Girl is how much Amy and Nick Dunne's marriage seemed like anyone else's. I'm not saying any of us are psychotic like Amy -- or sociopaths like Nick. (He's hardly innocent in this story.) I'm just saying, there was just enough there that felt awfully familiar.

Just like how there was just enough truth in Amy's fake journal to make it sound believable. At least on first read.

1. They're not going to be "that couple."

Remember how they keep telling each other that in the beginning? The Dunnes had high expectations for their marriage. Amy wasn't going to be the nag. Nick wasn't going to treat her like a trophy.

Everybody starts out feeling like their relationship is special, their love is somehow stronger, they're smarter. Hell, I've said this. When you're deeply in love, it's hard to imagine that anyone else could possibly have anything as special as what you have. Which makes you a little bit insane, if you think about it.

More from The Stir: 10 Ways to Know Very Quickly if Your Man Is a Psychopath

2. They start off with big passion.

Having sex in a bookshop? Kissing under sugar snowfalls? I mean ... My God, the heat of a young relationship. Is there anything else like it? But that fire is so hard to sustain, long-term. And it can be such a let-down when you notice it's wanted. I think Amy took it very hard. And Nick? Well, we saw what he did.

And speaking of big passion -- where was this Ben Affleck full-frontal scene? Was it supposed to be that split second when he gets into the shower? Did I blink at the wrong moment, or was I too busy listening to the dialogue and dumb stuff like that?

3. Amy tries to change Nick.

Amy has a history of attempting to make-over her men. Just like her parents tried to make-over her by creating her fictional doppelganger. Ladies, we've been warned against taking on men as "fixer-uppers" and trying to turn them into the men we really want. It never works. And yet, so many people do it anyway.

4. Amy and Nick both try to become someone they think their spouse wants.

Amy isn't the only one who has trouble accepting her spouse for who he is. She tries to be "the cool girl" -- a version of herself she thinks Nick wants. They both try, for a while, to become each other's fantasies. And honestly, how many of us try the same thing?

In almost any relationship you're trying to be the best version of yourself, a version you think your partner wants. And to a certain extent you should try hard to give your spouse the best of you. But in order to have a whole and fulfilling relationship, you need to be vulnerable. You have to be willing to expose your weaknesses, your flaws. Which brings me to the next thing ...

5. Amy is afraid of being vulnerable in her relationship.

She doesn't want to seem like a nag, so she doesn't communicate her needs and desires -- not explicitly, anyway. Everything is a treasure hunt for her. She wants Nick to guess what she wants. She wants him to figure it out without ever having to actually ask for anything.

Asking for what you want, admitting when you feel lonely, saying you need a stronger sense of connection -- these things make us feel vulnerable. But they are ESSENTIAL to a healthy relationship. Failing to do so will cause you both to carry an increasing load of resentment and disappointment.

6. Nick takes Amy for granted.

I think that's one of the reasons why she's always provoking him. She just wants him to pay attention to her.

7. Nick and Amy confuse drama with passion and engagement.

Remember, at the end, when Amy taunts Nick and tells her she's exactly what he wants? SHE'S RIGHT! Fighting with his wife makes Nick feel alive. He craves the drama just like she does. And I've made that same mistake.

I remember hearing almost that same thing from a couple's counselor: "Well, maybe you're just the kind of person who craves a more challenging, difficult relationship." In retrospect? That is pure bovine poop.

Having a lot of drama in your marriage doesn't mean you're SO PASSIONATE. That's artificial passion. That's lack of impulse control. Isn't life itself challenging enough in itself without your having to manufacture crises? True passion and engagement go deep, and they're quiet. Everything else is just noise.

8. They feel contempt for each other.

Contempt: The death knell of every failed relationship. Been there? I've done that.

None of this means you're psychotic. It just means you're flawed. We all are. What's psycho is when you completely disconnect from each other and ... Well, actually, what's psycho is when one or more of you is technically, literally psychotic. And fortunately very few of us are. But that's doesn't mean we can't still relate in a few small ways to Nick and Amy. And that's why Gone Girl kept me up all night.

Can you relate to the Dunnes? Come on, you know you can ...

Image via 20th Century Fox