Kate Upton thinks you're overdoing the sexy look. Well, maybe not you, but a lot of women are. In a Cosmopolitan magazine profile, Upton says, "I think a lot of people try too hard. Whenever you're like, 'I wanna dress sexy,' that's a bad place to start from." I think we all know the trying-too-hard look Kate's talking about. It usually involves a body-con dress with derriere and boobs jutting out uncomfortably in opposite directions and duck lips. See also: Instagram, 80 percent.

So what should we do instead if we want to look sexy? Here are Upton's simple yet genius tips.

1. Feel sexy, then get dressed.  Upton says instead of starting with wanting to dress sexy, "You should think, 'I feel sexy, so what should I wear?'" Oh, okay. BUT WHAT IF YOU'RE NOT KATE UPTON?!? Just kidding -- no, we get it. Sensuousness really is something you have to feel in order to project it. That's how it comes across as genuine and not forced.

2. Feel confident. Upton goes on to say that the other key to being hot without trying too hard is "feeling confident."

I think whatever you're putting out into the room is actually what people are looking at. They're not really dissecting your outfit. My mom always told me when I walk into a room to always smile because it puts everybody at ease, and it makes you feel at ease as well.

(So, how do I let this statement go by without noting that what Upton "puts out there" when she walks into a room is the VERY REASON why no one is looking at her outfit? I'm not talking about her smile.) But I digress. Her point is still valid. It's your confident attitude and smile that will make you shine, no matter what you're wearing.

3. Wear what's comfortable. Did you see those photos of Upton schlumping around the airport in baggy black pants and a loose white t-shirt? Not her most flattering look, you have to admit. But there she is, with that confident smile. She's all, "Yes, 'tis I, Kate Upton, among the masses. Behold how I glow even in the security line in my so-not-trying sweatpants." Well played, Upton. Well played.

Then again, in the same interview, Upton admits that "beauty is pain." She was talking about wearing high heels. So beauty is pain, but sexy is what comes from the inside? That's not what my mother told me. But if you say so! We think we know what you mean.

Do you agree? Can you look sexy just by feeling sexy?

Images via Richie Buxo/Splash News, Splash News

You love the fast casual Mexican restaurant Chipotle. I love the fast casual Mexican restaurant Chipotle. But don't you ever think to yourself, "Self, I sure wish I knew more about Chipotle so I can maximize my deliciousness there." Well today is your lucky day, readers! In a riveting Reddit thread, one Chipotle employee answers questions and reveals all kinds of secrets about this beloved burrito bar. We've read through it and culled 8 important Chipotle facts that could change the way you eat. Plus! We grabbed two recipes you really cannot live without.

1. Chipotle has what's called a "quesarito." It's not on the menu, but ask and ye shall receive. Here's how the employee describes it. "It's a quesadilla but we open it up and put regular burrito toppings in it. So it's like you're eating a quesadilla and a burrito at the same time."

2. And there's this other "secret" ingredient. For free you can get a little-known honey chipotle vinaigrette dashed over your meal.

3. There are freebies. You don't pay extra for more beans, vegetables, rice, or taco shells/tortillas on the side. You do pay extra for meat and guacamole.

4. You get more food in a bowl than in a burrito. The Chipotle employee says, "In a bowl, you have all that bowl space, and even if you get it filled completely that it starts stacking and getting taller, the lid is able to squish it down. But with a burrito, everything kinda needs to be in the center and be able to rolled into a burrito, so the portions are a bit smaller."

5. Try this genius burrito bowl hack. This idea comes from a customer. Ask an employee to place a tortilla at the bottom of your bowl. "Eat most of the bowl, then wrap up the rest in the tortilla and savor every bite. Leave no Chipotle behind."

6. You can get rice without the cilantro. We know some people cannot abide the stuff. Just ask for plain rice!

7. Two Chipotle locations serve breakfast. They are both at airports: Dulles outside Washington, D.C., and BWI in Baltimore, Maryland. And they serve special breakfast burritos.

8. How to get $2 off your order. If you order something with fewer than four ingredients (not including guacamole or double meat), it should be rung up as a kids' meal, which is $2 cheaper than the usual bowl price.

And now, two important recipes.

Cilantro Rice:

White rice with soy oil, fresh cilantro, and a squeeze of lime juice.

Guacamole:

2 Hass avocados

1 jalapeno pepper, seeded, and minced

1/4 of a red onion, finely chopped

2 heaping tablespoons cilantro, finely chopped

1/4 of a lime, juiced

1/4 teaspoon coarse salt

Mix together and die of happiness.

What's your favorite thing to order at Chipotle?

Image via Alan C/Flickr

Ah the stages of packing for a vacation: From excitement to procrastination to the good start to the panicked tossing of everything in your suitcase, and off you go -- only to find out you packed all the wrong stuff. How do you make the whole process simpler and still end up with the right clothes?

For me, packing for a summer vacation is all about reading the weather report, picking out separates in the same color family (so you can mix and match), planning to repeat a few things, and preparing for a few surprises. Here is my essential summer vacation packing list.

Images ©iStock.com/ttatty and ©iStock.com/IPGGutenbergUKLtd  

Do aphrodisiacs really work? Wouldn't we love to think all you have to do is slurp up some raw oysters and suddenly you are a sex goddess, ready for anything, right now, on the table. But the truth is there's very little science backing up that myth. It's pretty much all in your head. If you believe eating chocolate will turn you on, it just might. There is an interesting exception, though. Scientists may have found one true aphrodisiac, and you will NEVER guess what it is. It's something you may already eat every day!

It's apples.

You were hoping I would say ice cream? Yes, as anticlimactic (heheh) as it sounds, apples may boost your sex life. Who would have thought? I guess Eve was on to something in the Garden of Eden!

In a study of 731 healthy sexually active women ages 18 to 43 (yes, yes, that is a small sample -- read on anyway), half were told to eat 1 to 2 apples a day, while the other half ate none. Everyone filled out an evaluation of their sex lives, rating things like frequency, orgasm, lubrication, and overall satisfaction. And guess which group had the best sex? The apple eaters.

Now. How on Earth could this be?!? You wouldn't ordinarily think of apples as something you eat to improve your sex life. Scientists think it might be the polyphenols and antioxidants. These help you feel aroused by sending blood to your lady pleasure centers. Or it could be the phloridzin, which is similar to estradiol, a female sex hormone.

Want to try and replicate this study yourself? Well, you could do worse than eating an apple a day. It's a nutritious food that will benefit you in several other ways, and there's no harm in eating apples, either. Worth a try, I think!

What do you think -- does any food make you feel sexier?

Image © ShaneKato/iStock

There's a rumor out there that most men are reluctant to perform a certain bedroom act on their women. I think you know what I'm talking about. Well, I'm here to tell you it just isn't true. Not only are there plenty of men willing to give a woman what she most deserves, there are plenty of men who are also quite skilled at it. But what if your guy is reluctant to join the Grown Up Sexual Man Club and give you what want?

In the short story collection The Women of Brewster Place one savvy woman who wants her conservative husband to pleasure her a certain way came up with an unorthodox idea: She wedged some of his favorite sweet potato pie between her legs. Readers, it worked, and they all lived happily ever after. But you don't have to go to that extreme. Here's how to get your man to give you what you want in bed.

1. Tell him you want it. I mean, maybe you've already done this. But just in case you haven't, this is a friendly reminder that men can't read your mind. Don't ask, don't get. There are fun ways to do this, too. "You know what would be so hot? If you 'returned the favor!' I bet you'd be great at that!" Flatter him preemptively.

2. Make yourself fresh but not flowery.Try enticing him right after you shower, but don't add any feminine sprays or deoderants. Your yonni smells and tastes exactly as it should naturally. Let your man get to know that taste and like it.

3. Make it easy on him.Get into a position that allows him to reach you without straining his neck. Put a pillow under your hips, and maybe another under his body. Or experiment with different positions -- him on his back, you kneelling over him, for example.

More from The Stir: 12 Tips for Mastering the Bedroom Move Every Man Craves

4. Be responsive. Okay, he's finally taken the dive. GIVE HIM SOME FEEDBACK. Be vocal. Move. No man likes to work away at a woman who is totally unresponsive -- it makes him feel like he doesn't know what he's doing (ego crusher!).

5. Run your fingers through his hair. If he has hair on his head (Tee hee!). It feels nice, and it also tells him, "I'm paying attention, I'm loving this, and I'm loving you for doing this."

6. Say thank you. Praise him. Tell him he did a great job and you can't wait for him to do it again. Be effusive. We're assuming here that you're happy to return the favor, by the way.

7. Find out why he doesn't want to. So you've made it abundantly clear that you want your husband down there. And he's told you he doesn't want to. Well ... find out why! Talk about what's keeping him back. It could be something you can solve. And if he's wondering what he'd do down there, remind him that just being there is a huge pleasure and then maybe direct him to a men's article with oral sex tips.

Is your man happy to perform or is he holding out?

Image ©iStock.com/courtneyk

You say RachelMcAdams and I think two things: The Notebook movie and eyeliner. That sharply defined eye is practically her signature look. And it's fine -- it's been working for her. But in her latest magazine cover, she took it all off -- and we barely recognize her! McAdams is gorgeously eyeliner-free on Allure. She positively glows with a no-makeup look -- well, of course she's still wearing some makeup. But it's a fresh, barely there look that's perfect for summer. Is this something the rest of us could pull off?

Okay, so here's what I'm noticing about McAdams' cover.

1. Well-groomed eyebrows. Her brow hairs have been combed up and strays are banished. Who knows, she may be getting a tiny bit of help from some eyebrow pencil or shadow, but you'd never know just looking at her.

2. Curled, dark brown eyelashes. To keep the look light and natural, it looks like she's gone with a dark brown mascara instead of black, and she didn't coat it on. Just curling your lashes can do a lot, actually.

More from The Stir: 5 Ways to Get Perfect Eyebrows

3. Rosy cheeks. She probably put on a dab of creamy pale pink blush on the apple of each cheek. Did you hear Salma Hayek's secret to natural-looking cheek color? She says to look at the inside of your mouth. Maybe there's a light dusting of bronzer in there, too. McAdams looks like she just ran in from playing a light game of tennis in dappled sunlight.

4. Just the right amount of concealer. I mean, I'm assuming it's there. Sometimes when I want a minimal-makeup look, I'll skip the foundation, but I'll still dab on some concealer on my eyelids.

5. Natural pink lips. I think the key is to find a color that matches your natural lip color but takes it a wee bit deeper. And then, of course, the color is even over your lips. That's what gives you a natural but polished look.

6. Perfect skin. What can we say? Having perfect skin helps. Of course, she's probably wearing light foundation and there's also probably been a bit of airbrushing. But I suspect McAdams' skin is healthy to begin with. Which reminds me: I so need to drink water right now.

What do you think of Rachel McAdams' minimal-makeup look?

Images via Brock Miller/Splash, Allure Magazine

Quick, can you guess who this handsome celebrity is? I'll give you a hint: HE LOOKS NOTHING LIKE THIS PICTURE. Talk about your Photoshop fail! You guys, this is supposed to be Chris Pratt. You know, the funny goofball from Parks and Recreation? Star of Guardians of the Galaxy? Anna Faris's husband? I know he just lost a lot of weight and looks slimmer now, but come on! He doesn't even look like himself here on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. He looks like some generic Hot Guy™. (Also kind of like Chris Martin in a weird way.) They stripped away what makes Pratt so uniquely lovable.

Oh Photoshop, will your voracious, devouring ways never cease? Here are 6 other examples of how too much electronic airbrushing can destroy a celeb's image. It's proof that some art directors are getting far too carried away with this editing tool. Oh, and Entertainment Weekly? Please give us back the real Chris Pratt. We don't want your impostor.

Hey everyone, great news! A men's magazine has just given us permission to age. It's official: 42 is no longer "tragic." That's what modern, totally enlightened New Man Tim Junod writes in an article-length back-handed compliment titled "In Praise of 42-Year-Old Women" in Esquire magazine. Apparently we can still be hot and funny and OLD at the same time. And you know what? On behalf of all 42-ish women out there who came thisclose to the brink tragedy, I CANNOT WITH THIS. There is absolutely, positively, ZEROdy-nothing new about 42-year-old women being sexy and compelling. Nada!

I could drop the mic and walk right there. But because I'm on the verge of getting my period (insert sitcom laugh track), I have more to say. Here are some of my favorite lines from Junod's article.

There used to be something tragic about even the most beautiful forty-two-year-old woman.

Tragic?!? FYI, this was true only in ancient times when your life expectancy was 42. And even then ...

With half her life still ahead of her, she was deemed to be at the end of something — namely, everything society valued in her, other than her success as a mother.

You guys, did you know that there's this thing called ageism? Also a thing called sexism? And it's been, like, happening for decades? BREAKING NEWS. Thanks, Esquire-writer-slash-groundbreaking-cultural-anthropologist, for discovering this phenomenon.

If she remained sexual, she was either predatory or desperate; if she remained beautiful, what gave her beauty force was the fact of its fading. And if she remained alone ... well, then God help her.

Oh yeah right, that's exactly what Queen Elizabeth I of England thought when she turned 42. "It's all over for me! No more love sonnets dedicated to my not-so-enduring beauty! All I have left is running a whole empire at the height of its powers, that's all."

So then he starts talking about the movie, The Graduate, in which Dustin Hoffman plays a 21-year-old college grad who has an affair with a woman supposedly his parents' age played by Anne Bancroft -- who by the way was only 36 at the time.

The Graduate is a movie that "turned on the hero's disgust with himself for having an affair with a forty-two-year-old woman."

Actually The Graduate turns on the hero's sense of alienation and loss of direction following graduation. If there's any disgust in the affair, it's for his passivity.

There are many reasons for the apotheosis of forty-two-year-old women, and some of them have little to do with forty-two-year-old women themselves.

Oh, well great, so we can't even take credit for any of this.

It is feminism that has made forty-two-year-old women so desirable.

You keep saying that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

No generation of American women has entered its forties as frank about sex, and so no generation of American women has been as attuned to—or forgiving of—the absurd theater of men trying to get into their pants.

Honey, I know you weren't born in 2000 just by looking at your picture. So why are you writing like were?

Go to a party: There is simply no one as unclothed as a forty-two-year-old woman in a summer dress.

Oooh, ooh, I think he means both literally and metaphorically. GET IT???

For all her toughness, and humor, and smarts, you know exactly what she looks like, without the advantage of knowing who she is.

Argleblargle.

"You're trying to seduce me, aren't you?" Benjamin Braddock asked Mrs. Robinson a long time ago. The question, back then, was all that mattered. Now we wait for the answer.

Don't hold your breath.

How excited are you about turning 42 now that Esquire has made it okay to reach that age? Are you penning your thank-you note now?

Image © azgek/iStock

Remember getting a toy surprise in your box of Cracker Jacks? If you were really lucky, you got a pretty, plastic ring. Well, one little girl made the most amazing discovery. She found a ring her in Goldfish crackers -- a real wedding ring! Or it sure looks that way. Nine-year-old Peyton Postol was snacking on the little fish crackers when she pulled out a silver-colored metal band embedded with small diamonds or white stones and asked her mom, "Is there supposed to be a ring in here?"

The answer is no, there definitely should not be a ring in your Goldfish crackers. But what a magical find! Peyton must have felt a thrill at this amazing discovery, followed by some confusion, naturally. But when you think about it, finding a ring in your crackers is maybe not such an innocent delight.

[code][/code]

Think about what must have gone wrong for this to have happened. A Pepperidge Farm spokeswoman told ABC 4 in Utah that employees are prohibited from wearing jewelry on the job, and they're supposed to wear gloves. (Hmm, maybe someone wasn't following the rules?!?) "We're very surprised that it was found in the pack,” Pepperidge spokeswoman Anna Burr says. “Because we do take it very seriously and we have in place a number of processes to avoid something like this from happening."

So there's that. Who had their bare hands near/in that box of crackers? But worse -- what else could be falling into those crackers? I'm sure whoever dropped that ring never intended to and is heartbroken over the loss. What about things people wouldn't miss, like a filthy bangle from Forever 21, for example? Or a cigarette butt? Or -- well, you get the idea. Peyton's mom, Stephanie, pretty much nails it by saying, "But now the thought of them not using gloves or whatnot makes me not want to eat it anymore."

But you know what? Tomorrow is another day. And we'll all probably open up packages of food with wide-eyed innocent faith and we'll find nothing mysterious inside. To the pantry!

What would you do if you found a ring in your crackers?

Image via Lena Le Ray/Flickr

No one wants to admit that they're doing it wrong. You know what I'm talking about: Sex. By the time we reach our teens we want to think we know everything about it. But well into adulthood a lot of us are still clueless, running around with all kinds of silly ideas in our heads about how sex works. Then we carry that misinformation into a marriage, and no wonder there are so many sexless or sexually-blah relationships out there.

Two doctors are out to dispel as many myths as they possibly can through a new book: Don't Put That in There! And 69 Other Sex Myths Debunked by Dr. Aaron E. Carroll and Dr. Rachel C. Vreeman. Even if you're sure you know everything about sex you may be surprised ... or at least curious. Come on, admit it. Here are 11 myths about sex that could be ruining your marriage -- or at least dampening things in the bedroom. See how many of these you already knew.

1. You can’t get pregnant during your period. It's a lot less likely that you'll get pregnant when you're menstruating, but it's still possible. A woman's egg and a man's sperm can live for several days in the cozy environment of the womb.

2. Sex can give you a heart attack. We've all heard the stories of the older guy who just got way too excited during lovemaking. But Carroll and Vreeman looked at the research, and unless you smoke or have diabetes there's a one in a million chance that you'll have a heart attack during sex. If anything, it's good for your cardiovascular health. One study showed that men who have sex twice a week or more have a lower risk of developing cardiovascular disease.

3. Married people don’t play with themselves. Supposedly if you're married you don't have to masturbate because of all the sex you're having, right? Wrong! People who live with a sexual partner actually masturbate more than singles. But it's not because their sex lives are dead. Folks who are married also have more sex and better sex.

"The myth that married people don't play with themselves is just plain wrong!" Says sexy lifestyle expert Dana B. Myers. "For busy moms, its so important to give yourself some 'pleasure-play time' for stress relief, to ground yourself, and to keep learning about what you like. It helps you tap into your unique power as a woman. While its often great, and fun, to involve another person, crafting out time for a weekly, or even daily, a solo session is one of the greatest ways we can instantly bring ourselves into a state of calm, centered authenticity and reclaim our own happiness."

4. There’s a 10-year difference in sexual peaks. Supposedly men hit their peak in the early 20s while women hit it in middle age -- but the truth is, men and women experiences peaks and valleys throughout our lives. "Sexual desire constantly fluctuates, and is related to many, many more factors than age," Carroll and Vreeman say.

5. It’s only a matter of time before a man cheats. First of all, cheating is not inevitable. Secondly, age is hardly a factor. People (men and women) are more likely to cheat when they're unhappy in their relationships and/or when they're sexually incompatible.

6. Sex with your socks on is lame. It's supposed to be a big turn-off. But in one bizarre study, couples who wore socks while having sex were more likely to have an orgasm than people who went sockless. Bottom line: "The best sex may happen when you are comfortable," as Carroll and Vreeman put it. If having warm feet makes you more comfortable, go ahead and keep those socks on.

More from The Stir: Sleeping Naked Could Save Your Marriage

7. Men doing laundry turns on wives. Sharing the household chores equally is GREAT for a marriage, make no mistake. The studies on this have been mixed, but it actually looks like the reverse may be true (sorry, my fellow women!). One interesting study showed that the more "core housework" (cooking, cleaning, doing laundry) a man did, the less frequently he had sex. On the other hand, the more "manly" chores he did (car repairs, lawn work, paying bills) the more sex he had. So it could be the kind of housework a guy does that makes the difference.

8. Women don’t really want sex. People have been saying this for years -- that men's sex drives are stronger than women's. Well, the most current research proves that's just plain wrong. It's just that women often want sex in different ways -- and we've been culturally biased against seeing women as sexual beings. "When it comes to biology," Carroll and Vreeman write, "there is plenty of research to suggest that women are also hardwired to have a strong sex drive in and of itself."

9. Big feet and hands means a big … Nope. While the same genes seem to be involved in genital, finger, and toe growth, "there is no good evidence that men with big feet have bigger penises." You really can't tell just by looking at his hands.

What's a sexual myth you wish people would stop passing on?

Image © RapidEye/iStock

The idea of going on a picnic sounds lovely, doesn't it? You lay out that checkered blanket, open your perfect wicker basket, and proceed to set out your pristinely-packed lunch. Except it's never quite that perfect, is it? There's always something that spills or gets smushed or somehow smells funny by the time you sit down to eat. Well, here are our 10 best picnic lunch hacks -- what to do to make sure your food arrives safe and sound so everyone's happy!

1. Use mason jars. Okay, you probably already know this, but there are these things called mason jars? And, like, you can pack things in them? I'm kidding, of course you've seen these. Here's a whole blog post full of mason jar picnic lunch-packing ideas. I mean, the possibilities are endless.

2. Make a cupcake liner cup protector. Hate getting flies and other bugs in your drinks? Just put a cupcake liner with a straw over your cup.

3. Create salt and pepper packets. It's entirely ethical to just grab these from fast food restaurants for future picnic lunches. Or if you're a bit classier than that, you can fill straws with salt or pepper and tape the ends. Or you can re-use Tic-Tac containers.

4. Wrap sandwiches in paper, not plastic. Don't want a soggy sandwich? Wrap it in waxed or parchment paper instead. Tape closed or tie with kitchen twine because you're twee like that.

5. Use hard rolls or baguettes. These breads have crusts that won't get soggy. Slice the baguette lengthwise, Subway sandwich-style, and load with toppings.

6. Freeze your drinks. This will keep them, and everything with them, cold. Careful with cans of soda, though -- they may bulge and burst.

7. Wrap bottles in cloth. Bringing a bottle of wine? Wrap it up in your tablecloth or napkins to keep it from breaking. Oh -- I guess you could do this with beer, too.

8. Pack dressing separately. If you're bringing a pasta or other salad, add just enough dressing so it doesn't dry out (tiny, tiny amount!). Then pack the rest of the dressing in a jar and add it just before you're ready to serve. Same with sandwich condiments -- pack those separately.

9. Put heavier items on the bottom. DUH! Everyone knows this. But I'm saying it anyway just in case.

10. Keep it simple. Don't get too elaborate with your vision. Pack foods that don't have sauce or moving parts and that taste good room temperature. Sometimes some bread, cheese, fruit, and a couple knives make the perfect outdoor meal.

How do you keep your picnic lunch happy, not soggy?

Images ©iStock.com/GMVozd, ©iStock.com/miflippo

I take the worst selfies. Honestly, I have no idea what I'm doing when I hold that phone up to my face and click. What's with this special talent for making myself look all derpy? Clearly I need help. And so, I'm turning to the pros. I figure, who better to show me how to take a FLATTERING selfie than celebrities! And so, here are some of the best celeb selfies I've seen lately, and what we can all learn from them.

P.S. This post is a duck-lips free zone!

More from The Stir: 8 Tips for Taking an Awesome Selfie

Image © VladimirFLoyd/iStock

Happy July 11. It's a certain Stir staffer's birthday AND it's Free Slurpee Day at 7-Eleven stores! Because 7/11, that's why. Today the convenience store is giving away a free small Slurpee in any flavor to its customers. But wait, there's more! 7-Eleven is having a whole series of freebies for a week. Read on to get all the icy-cool, delicious details.

To get your free Slurpee (one per customer per day), you just have to walk into a store and ask nicely between the hours of 11 a.m. and 7 p.m. today. Oh myyyy, which flavor will you choose? Better plan ahead by scoping out the flavors at Slurpee.com. Peach Dragon Fruit? Or Diet Cherry Coke?

As for the additional freebies throughout the week, you'll need to download the 7-Eleven app to get your hands on those. Text 711711 to get daily updates. Here's what you have to look forward to.

Saturday, July 12: Big Gulp

Sunday, July 13: M&M’s Birthday Cake Flavor Candies

Monday, July 14: Grandma’s Cookies

Tuesday, July 15: Twinkies

Wednesday, July 16: Snickers or Twix Ice Cream Bar

Thursday, July 17: Quaker Chewy Yogurt Snack Bar

Friday, July 18: Pillsbury Cookie

Saturday, July 19: Small Slurpee

Wait ... Saturday, July 19? That's over a week. The hell are those crazy 7-Eleven people thinking? They're thinking you'll buy other stuff while you're there, that's what they're thinking. And since they're offering other deals throughout the week, maybe they're right? 

Anyway, those of you who live near 7-Elevens, enjoy a cool one for me. Where I live it's all $6 artisan frozen fruit bars made with local ingredients hand-crafted by Ivy League graduates. Not that there's anything wrong with that!  

[code][/code]

What's your favorite Slurpee flavor? Is it worth waiting in line for a free one?

Image via Slurpee/Instagram

You've seen it on elaborate cakes, and you've seen it create fantasies on the reality TV show Cake Boss: It's fondant, the pliable, dough-like decorative cake icing. When you cover a cake with this confection it gives you a beautifully smooth surface to decorate. Usually it's made of gelatin and food-grade glycerine (a kind of sugar), and it's most often sold as "rolled fondant" in soft blocks which you knead and roll out. You can buy it white and color it yourself, or you can buy colored fondant. Here's how to use fondant the most basic way, to cover a whole cake in a single color.

1. Set out everything you'll need. This includes fondant, a small bowl or spray bottle of water, cooking spray, powdered sugar, buttercream frosting (or that stuff in a can), a rolling pin, fondant smoother or silicone spatula, and a sharp kitchen knife. You'll need a clean, clear workspace.

2. Figure out how much fondant you need. As you can imagine, that depends on the size of your cake. Wilton (which makes fondant) had a handy fondant coverage guide based on cake size. If you're a beginner, start with a fondant already dyed the color you want it.

3. Frost your cake with icing or buttercream. This is kind of like the glue that helps your fondant stick to your cake. Let the frosting dry out a little, then spray with water so it becomes tacky again.

4. Knead the dough. You don't have to work it like bread dough. Just get it to the point where it's pliable and a little warm.

5. Roll out the dough. Spray your work surface with cooking spray and then dust lightly with powdered sugar. Now roll out dough with a long rolling pin, taking care that it's even thickness all over. Lift the fondant regularly so it doesn't stick to your surface.

6. Place fondant on cake. Lift fondant onto the rolling pin, then place from rolling pin onto your cake. Smooth fondant out over cake using a fondant smoother (sometimes comes with a kit) or a the straight edge of a small silicone spatula.

7. Trim. Using a knife, trace around the edges to trim off excess fondant.

8. Decorate. Once you've covered your cake with a layer of fondant, you can roll out more and cut it into shapes to decorate your cake.

The more experienced you get, the more you can experiment with more complex designs. There are other kinds of fondant you can play with, pourable fondant and sculpting fondant. 

Do you have any experience using fondant? What tips can you share?

Image © Vesivus/iStock

A statement necklace sold by Topshop has just a little too much to say -- or maybe it's the way it's saying it? I never thought I'd have a reason to write the words "racist jewelry" but that's pretty much what the fuss is all about. Topshop selling a yellowface "head charm necklace" -- with matching bracelet and earrings, no less? Why on God's green Earth would a person think this is a good idea?

Topshop thinks we're making a big deal out of nothing. When a shopper complained to a store manager she was told the jewelry was "acceptable, because it was vintage style and not racist," she says via Twitter. Facepalm! Since when are "vintage style" and "racist" mutually exclusive? Oh man, if we listed all the "vintage" things we no longer buy because they're also racist ... well, let's just say I have better things to do with my day.

[code]

How is this racism acceptable?Told by manager is acceptable because it was vintage style and not racist @Topshoppic.twitter.com/CkLpMpog9W

— Becky 2.o_0 (@summoningesther) July 1, 2014

But maybe you're not convinced it's So Bad? Refinery 29 blogger Venus Wong explains, "As a Chinese native, I can't ignore the racist undertones of these items." And then she delves into an important history lesson for context.

The charms bear an uncanny resemblance to the caricatures in anti-Chinese propaganda cartoons of the 1880s, when the Chinese Exclusion Act and all its institutionalized, dehumanizing policies were in full effect. (In fact, Chinese people weren't allowed to immigrate to the United States until 1943, and many weren't able to own property until 1965, which makes the jewelry's "Freedom Found" moniker especially ironic.)

Anyway, it ain't all bad because hey, at least we all learned an interesting history lesson. It's these pieces of cultural information that make us civilized, thoughtful citizens of the world. Which is what we all want to be, right? (Actually, no, that necklace is still pretty bad.)

Now that I've pointed out why the context of this bauble is ugly, can we talk about how it's not even pretty to begin with? If you want to rip off another culture for a cheap statement necklace there are plenty of other options and colors to choose from, for crying out loud.  

What do you think about this necklace -- did learning about the cultural context change your opinion?

Image ©iStock.com/Dizzy

A garden is an amazing wonderland for children. There's so much to learn from plants, from smelling, touching, growing, and even tasting them. But not all plants are friendly to kids. Especially if you have a curious baby or toddler exploring your yard, you'll want to be extra careful not avoid any plants that are poisonous. Here are 10 common garden plants that could be fatal to your children.

Someone has been keeping a big surprise under wraps. I can't believe it -- Emily Maynard is welcoming a new member to the family already! She just married Tyler Johnson last month, but over the weekend, she made this exciting announcement via Instagram: "Meet the newest addition to our family ..." Going by the photo, the new family member is adorable, with the palest, most angelic hair. The family member's name is BRILLIANT. And I'll give you another hint: In case you're wondering, this family member was adopted. Are you ready? Okay.

[code][/code]

DAWW! It's a new kitty cat! And I love the name Ricki picked out for it: Brain -- too funny. Wouldn't we like to hear the story behind that name.

This comes just over a year after Emily surprised Ricki with a puppy for her eighth birthday, a little white Maltese they named Pixie. "The newest addition to our zoo," Emily said at the time. So it looks like Brain was chosen to match Pixie. Now they have two white, fluffy puffballs at home. Oh wait, looks like Emily has a couple other white cats (though one died this year). PLUS two other dogs, Nash and Knox. And ... the Maynard-Johnson home really is kind of a zoo. Where do they keep so many critters?

More from The Stir: Emily Maynard Reveals Unexpected Baby News

We may see a human baby from Emily soon enough -- though probably not for year or so. I think Em and Taylor (and Ricki) are just settling into married life together before they add a human member to their household. Plus, they must have their hands full with all those pets. But it makes you wonder, every time Emily adopts an animal, is it because what she really wants is a new baby?

Do you consider your pets part of the family or just, you know, animals?

Image via Emily Maynard/Instagram

Remember that video of strangers (ahem, actors and models) sharing their first kiss? Well the follow-up is even hotter. This time filmmaker Tatia Pllieva asked strangers to undress each other and jump into bed. "Nothing else. No rules." Except that apparently there was an unwritten rule that everyone stops at their underwear. But that's all right! It's still flirty fun. "Undress Me" was made to promote season 2 of Showtime's series, Masters of Sex, about the pioneering sex researchers Virginia Johnson and William Masters.

Once again Pllieva hired a crew of mostly gorgeous young people who look quite nice in their skivvies. And you know what? We actually picked up a few pointers from this video as well. If you've ever undressed a lover, you know it can be incredibly hot ... or incredibly awkward. So take one: Here are 9 important lessons about taking someone else's clothes off.

1. It's okay to be nervous. The other person probably is, too. Tense laughter is allowed. Giggling is great.

2. Don't ask where to start. That just puts the pressure on the other person. You know how this works, dude -- start with the outermost layer.

3. Make eye contact. Oh my Lord, making eye contact while you take someone's clothes off is sssteamy. ZAHHH.

4. Wear slinky underwear. In fact, always be ready to be undressed. What's the guy equivalent of slinky underwear? Oh yeah.

More from The Stir: Sexy Men's Underwear Comes Scented or With Pockets -- Yum?

5. Go slowly. What's these people's hurry? This isn't a race. Relax, take your time, and draw it out -- like this guy did. This one knows what he's doing.

6. Wiggle your butt. When he's pulling your pants down, do a cute little hip jig.

7. Careful not to tear anyone's favorite trousers. See above re: Going slowly and you can avoid this awkward mishap. If you do tear clothing, it has to be done deliberately and with passion. Not this way.

8. Don't make your partner do the clumsy pants dance. This is a tricky maneuver, getting the pant legs past the ankles. You'll need to sit or squat down. Gently lift each leg one at a time with one hand while you pull off pants with the other. Allow your partner to rest their hand on your shoulder.

9. Once you get into bed ... er, well, I guess you can take it from there.

See this video on The Stir by CafeMom.

How does it make you feel when someone else undresses you? What about when you undress someone else?

Images via Tatia Pllieva/YouTube

It's the little things. We all start out with the best intentions to see only the good in our spouses. It's easy in the beginning, what with all those pink, fluffy love hormones clouding our vision. But over time they creep into our consciousness -- those annoying little habits of our beloved. Why is he incapable of putting his dirty laundry INSIDE the bin instead of on top of it? Why does he insist on loading glasses on the bottom rack of the dishwasher, which is clearly designed for plates? Why does he have to finish the last three words of every sentence you ever say? (YOU. EVER. SAY.) 

"Fussing with each other often is a function of temperament -- especially when couples have quite different personalities," says Professor Charles R. Figley, PhD, at Tulane University. We all know what fussing leads to -- that kind of destructive constant quarrelling that can erode your relationship. But if you just ignore the annoying behavior, you will surely go mad. What to do? Here are 6 tips for handling these daily irritations. 

1. Remember: It's not just you. "Habit hating is not limited to married couples and can be found in all interpersonal relationships eventually," Dr. Figley says. You know what this means, right? You probably have some habits that annoy your spouse, too. Have some empathy and perspective.

2. Choose your battles. You really have to decide what's disturbing enough to "fight" (fairly) over and what you could accept as part of who your spouse is. Dr. Figley suggests, "When something is irritating, ask: If I can't change her or him, can I change myself to ignore or accept these differences?" 

3. Balance with the positive. Dr. Figley says it's easy sometimes to forget why you married your spouse in the first place. So if your husband is driving you crazy, go ahead and list all those irritating things. Then write a list of traits and habits of your spouse that you love -- and make sure that list is twice as long. "When the irritation happens again, think of those loving traits," Dr. Figley says. "And tell your spouse about them!"

More From The Stir: 10 Most Annoying Husband Habits 

4. Use "I" statements. When you do choose to address an annoying habit, says couples counselor Terri Orbuch, don't just point fingers and say thing like, "You are such a slob." Instead, Orbuch says, try something like, "When you throw your clothes on the floor, I get upset because our house feels chaotic to me." In other words, explain how his behavior makes you feel or affects you. 

5. Make a "habit trade." About those habits of yours that are probably annoying your husband? Why not agree to quit them in exchange for your spouse quitting his own, suggests psychiatrist Dr. Gail Saltz. "Each of you working on one thing for the other." 

6. Work on your communication skills in general. "'Working' at marriage is just that. It does not come naturally," Dr. Figley says. So spend time and effort improving how you talk with each other and how you express your love. This will help offset the annoyances.

Something else to keep in mind as you're working through this: Quarreling over the little things can be an indicator of normalcy. Dr. Figley has studied and written extensively on families in crisis and trauma (Helping Traumatized Families, 2013). "When bickering RETURNS following a crisis," he says, "it's actually a good sign."

How do you usually handle your spouse's annoying habits?

Image ©iStock.com/skynesher

We're used to seeing Kristen Stewart in guyswear, but this takes it to a whole 'nother level. In a video for Jenny Lewis' new song, "Just One of the Guys," actresses Stewart, Anne Hathaway, and Brie Larson dress up in drag. All three beautiful women are total dudes, with mustaches and baseball caps and poses -- yo, that's what makes a guy a guy, right? No?

Well, we think you'll have to see how they look and judge for yourself. Are KStew, Anne, and Brie too pretty and feminine to be one of the guys?

Love Kristen's Bieber hair, so that's a plus. And there's something weirdly fitting about her with a mustache. Does it maybe look almost too good on her? Something to think about ...

Tears, people. Hathaway produced tears for this video. OKAY ANNE, YOU WIN, YOU'RE THE BEST ACTRESS EVER. But your features are still way too delicate and feminine to pull off this guy look. By the way, is that a rat's tail we spy back there?!?

That's scary -- Brie looks just like my ex-brother-in-law circa 1980.

We're used to seeing men in drag. But women dressed like men is a little unusual -- except how many of us have female friends who cross-dress every day? I know I do. As I was watching this, I kept wondering if they would roll their eyes at the actresses' lame attempts at going butch.

Anyway, the meta-question is, of course, what makes a guy a guy? Can you pretend to be one, just for a day? Or will your life experience/DNA betray you every time? And what about women who grow mustaches but feel feminine anyway? Just a few essay prompts for your gender studies homework this afternoon.

At any rate, you have to see this video if for no other reason than to see Anne Hathaway attempt breakdancing. I think she needs more practice.

See this video on The Stir by CafeMom.

What do you think of these actresses' drag look?

Images via Jenny Lewis/YouTube