Oh boy, there's a new Human Barbie on the scene, and this one is even more extreme than Valeria Lukyanova's version. Introducing Lacey Wildd of Miami, Florida, a lovely 46-year-old mom of six. And don't be fooled by the double D in Lacey's last name. Thanks to 12 breast augmentation surgeries (and whatever Mother Nature gave her), she wears a size LLL bra. In addition to boob jobs, Wildd has had 24 other plastic surgeries and she says she's still not done. She wants to keep enlarging her boobs and booty. It will probably not surprise you to hear her motto is "plastic makes perfect."

So, let's talk about Wildd's breasts. The Daily Mail says each breast weighs 21 pounds. Wildd has to prop them on pillows to drive (ugh, mental picture of that, go away!), she can't really run, and she only uses the back burners of the stove for fear that she'll light her expensive bust on fire. And speaking of light ... uh, just watch.

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Oh for the love of all that is holy -- that flashlight trick? My eyes! My eyes!

As insane as the first Human Barbie seemed, Wildd has taken the obsession to another level. I mean, when you've taken a healthy, able body and pushed it to the point where you've physically disabled yourself, you know you've gone way, way too far. And you know what? I don't think she even looks that much like Barbie. Her breasts are way too big, and have you seen Barbie's ass? It's flat.

We mentioned Wildd has six kids, right?

That's the other stunning thing about Wildd. I mean ... where does a mother of six get the time for all this surgery? Not to mention, I don't understand why she would want to make her job as a mom HARDER -- think of all the other ways her dangerously imbalanced body keeps her from doing the ordinary things parents do every day to care for their kids. Like hug them -- sad face for Lacey's daughter in the video.

More from The Stir: 'Human Barbie' Makeup-Free Pics Show What She's REALLY Like (PHOTOS)

And don't even get me started on the message Wildd's plastic surgery obsession is sending her kids. They may grow up feeling like they're just not good enough unless they've carved themselves up 17 different ways. On the other hand, maybe they're all too aware that their mom has a problem and stay far away from plastic surgery. We can only hope.

In the meantime, I wish Wildd the best of luck standing upright without falling over and stuff.

Which Human Barbie makes you the most uncomfortable?

Image via Splash News

I love the taste of barbecue, but I don't always have time to fire up the grill for dinner. Fortunately we've got a little kitchen helper to fix that. Slow cooker to the rescue! Here are 7 Crock-Pot recipes for your barbecue favorites. It can all be waiting for you when your family comes home from a busy day working and playing. Grab some napkins!

More from The Stir: 10 Easy Crock-Pot Desserts Your Family Won't Be Able to Resist

The average couple dates for two to three years before getting married. But this season, six people will marry each other on the first date. Arranged marriages are back, and this time they're on TV! It's all happening on the the reality show Married at First Sight.

Matchmakers will use science to find the perfect match for a few willing singles, and those brave souls will meet each other for the first time at their wedding. We'll get to see their first weeks together and find out which marriages stand the test of TV-time and which fall apart under the pressure.

Now what could possibly go wrong in this scenario?!?

I am very, very nervous for all these people. The pressure! Not only are they trying to make an arranged marriage work, they're trying to make it work on camera. I wonder, do any of them even stand a chance?

More from The Stir: 4 Tips for Objecting at a Wedding

Let's take on the arranged marriage part first. I can see how the right experts could select a mate for near-perfect compatibility. And compatibility matters a whole lot in a relationship. Contemporary culture doesn't really go in for arranged marriages anymore, but it's an age-old tradition that has worked for many families. It's not all child brides getting hitched to old men, either. Real matchmakers can get it right. And anyway, what are all those online dating apps but technological matchmakers?

Still, using a matchmaker to find someone to date is one thing. Using a matchmaker to find someone to marry, sight-unseen, is another. As important as compatibility is, I still think you need that special spark for a relationship to really "take." And that bit of magic is hard to predict and even harder to manufacture.

So there's the arranged challenge to this show. And then there's the reality TV anxiety. Are couples going to be on their best behavior while the cameras are rolling? Will that make them act more carefully than they otherwise would in private? Or will the filming break them and make people more irritable and more sensitive? I think everyone will react to being televised differently, but you can't deny that it will have an influence one way or another.

Here's another tantalizing question -- if we see some of these couples make it, will that make more singles curious about arranged marriages? Imagine if this takes off and becomes a major new trend.

Whatever happens, we can't wait to see this crazy social experiment for ourselves! Married at First Sight premieres Tuesday, July 8 on the FYI network.

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Do you think any of these couples will last more than a few weeks? What about long term?

Image ©iStock.com/jveigel

What horrors lurk within your refrigerator? Are there foods well past their prime crouched, ready to unleash food poisoning upon you and your family? Well it's time to drag them out and banish them forever. Most of us have at least a couple things in our fridge that should probably go -- I know I do. And it's easy to lose track of what's fresh and what's not, especially if you're busy. But it's worth the time and effort if you can pin down just 10 minutes to screen your fridge for these food safety red flags and throw them away.

More from The Stir: 6 Easy Tricks for Spring Cleaning Your Messy Fridge

"Mommy, what's this?" your toddler asks. You turn around and see it: She's holding a fist full of your tampons. Or -- he's using your pantiliners as stickers. NO!!! You try and brush it off with "those are Mommy's ... things." But what toddler is going to take such a vague explanation, especially for something you won't let them play with?

It's the other age-old question: How to explain your period paraphernalia to your toddler? There are no easy answers. We asked women how they've explained it, and here's how some especially funny and creative moms have put it.

1. Tell them Moms wear diapers, too. This is a popular explanation for a lot of you. "They think my pads are diapers for adults." May you never have to wear real adult diapers! "My dd thinks they are diapers. She always tells daddy they're for Mommy's 'gina.'" Too funny, that's what we called a vagina when I was a little girl, too. "I told my kids they were 'mommy diapers.' My daughter was like wow, you still wear diapers???" Come to think of it, this explanation just leads to more embarrassing questions.

2. Go with other creative look-alikes. Some moms have let kids come up with their own explanations -- like "oversized pre-wrapped Q-Tips." Sure ... sounds useful! One little girl thought a box of tampons looked like huge birthday candles. "I just went with that," her mom said. Another mom calls them "lady Band-Aids" -- which they kind of are, if you think about it. And then there's the mom who let her kids think pantiliners are shoe inserts for sweaty feet. Wonder if that would actually work?

3. Distract them with wonder. When asked about the tampon dispenser in a public restroom, one mom told her young daughter it was simply "the mommy machine." And that worked?!! Awesome.

More from The Stir:Mom Gets Sweet Revenge on Girl Who Fakes Getting Her Period (VIDEO)

4. Put off the conversation. It's amazing sometimes how much mystery children will accept. Some moms just tell their little ones, "We'll talk about it when you're older." That sounds like forever. There's also, "Those are my things here give them to me OH LOOK! IS THOMAS THE TANK ON NOW???"

5. Tell the truth. Whaddaya mean, you just tell your kid what that's actually for?!? Yup. Some moms just tell it like it is. "No creative or funny ways here. We are open, honest, and blunt about it." Another mom says, "I've always tried to normalize it for them, especially my boys. I don't want them being jerks to females about it, so I've always been very frank and matter-of-fact about the whole thing." Wow, the woman who is going to be able to ask her boyfriend to please pick up some tampons at the store for her is thanking you right now!

Has your toddler discovered your box of tampons or other period supplies? How do you explain it?

Image ©iStock.com/matka_Wariatka

Back in the day (according to every Western movie I've ever seen), a fellah could mosey into any saloon with his gun in its holster and not expect any trouble. But nowadays? Most folks prefer their dining establishments gun-free. But for those who long for the wild, wild west, there's Shooters Grill, a restaurant where waitresses pack heat. And it's located in (wait for it ... wait for it ... ) a Colorado town called Rifle, of course! Here's what you'll find at this dining establishment.

1. Owner and mom to four kids Lauren Boebert. She started wearing her gun to work just for fun about a month after she opened it. She says she's not trying to prove a point or anything. It's just that "this is our way of life," she told USA Today.

2. All nine waitresses carrying guns. They have everything from Glock semi-automatics to a Rueger Blackhawk .357 six-shooter. But those guns are to be kept holstered, safety on. Customers can open-carry, too, of course.

3. Menu items such as the M16 burrito, the Swiss and Wesson grilled cheese, and "Locked and Loaded Nachos." Also Rifle (French) Dip! With Home Style Chicken Noodle Soup and NY Strip Steak With Mashed Potatoes and Grilled Veggies.

4. Cute t-shirts. It's hard to see them on Shooters' Facebook page, but they will ship. The restaurant does not appear to have a website.

5. Gun safety courses. For $75 you can get a four-hour lesson along with your meal.

And here's what you won't see at Shooters Grill.

1. Crime. This is a small, mountain town with very little criminal activity.

2. Booze. No alcohol is served at Shooters. Smart and sensible! This is what happens when a woman owns a restaurant that allows guns. Just saying.

So there you go! Rifle happens to be hunting country, so for the community, guns aren't just about grandstanding over your rights -- they're also a way people get their food. I think it would be cool if Shooters served local game, but maybe the people of Rifle shoot enough of their own venison. At any rate, the food gets rave reviews, guns or no guns.

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Would you eat at a place like Shooters Grill?

Image © KarenMower/iStock

You have to check out these fantastic party treats -- "surprise inside" cupcakes. They're cakes filled with little candies or sprinkles. And here's the best part -- you don't need any special equipment to make them! We got the recipe from U.K. baking brand Dr. Oetker, which makes these cool edible cupcake liners (not for sale in the U.S., yet, boo hoo!). But you can use any liners and, for that matter, any cupcake recipe. You create the "surprise inside" after the cupcakes are finished baking. Read on to find out how!

Surprise Inside Cupcakes adapted from Dr. Oetker

Makes 6 cupcakes

Ingredients

Directions

Image via Dr. Oetker

Nobody starts out wanting their garden to die on them over the summer. But somehow it just ... happens. You begin with the best intentions, watering regularly and making all your plants happy. And then all hell breaks loose. The kids are out of school, you're always out at some activity, you go away on vacation, and it's just too hot to work in the yard. By summer's end your paradise is a disheveled graveyard where beautiful botanical dreams go to die.

I know. It's happened to me. But there's hope! Here are 8 clever hacks that make summer gardening so much easier. This is how to not let your yard die on you this year.

1. Put your plants in diapers. Yes, really! The very thing that makes diapers so absorbent will also help the soil in your planters retain water. Just mix equal parts soil and diaper stuffing (take it apart and dump out the gel/fiber filling) and use in planters and window boxes. Here's a handy video to show you how.

See this video on The Stir by CafeMom.

2. Put your sprinklers on a timer. This is nothing new -- my parents did it when I was growing up. But if you have a yard with in-ground sprinklers you should have them running automatically. The Hacker's Bench has instructions for making a $3.00 sprinkler timer. And if that's too complicated, Instructables can show you how to set up a hardware store automated sprinkler system.

3. Put yourself on a schedule. Okay, we don't all have in-ground sprinkler systems. But what you can do is figure out how often you need to water which parts of your yard. Then set up recurring alerts on your smartphone. Remember the best times to water are first thing in the morning or later in the evening.

4. Use your air-conditioning runoff to make a self-watering garden. Multitasking! Instructables (again!) shows you how to recycle that AC water to keep your plants happy.

5. Create a "no-work" cottage garden. I like that sound of that! Better Homes & Gardens has a tutorial on creating a small, rambling bed of super-hardly plants.

7. Set up a drip system. This is a system of hoses that can water rows and rows of veggies and flowers. You can buy soaker hose sets to put together kind of like Legos, only faster (in under an hour, they say!). Turn on the faucet and everything gets watered at once.

8. Grow native plants. Are you trying to create a classic English garden in the middle of Arizona? Hope you have a whole Downton Abbey's worth of servants to help you. Your garden will survive neglect better if it's filled with plants that already grow in your region.

Have you found other ways to keep your yard alive through the busiest days of summer?

Image © rvbox/iStock

Let's face it, they all love it. Men love, love, love a good blow job. It's just mind-boggling how happy a well-executed BJ makes them. And if you're reading this post, you probably know this already. Being able to deliver this treat to your man will make you the queen of the bedroom and probably the queen of his heart as well. So if you're looking for ways to make him beyond, I mean BEYOND happy in bed, we've rounded up the best oral sex tips for you.

1. Start off slowly. Savvy Miss has a great play-by-play for getting the oral sex party started, from kissing to finishing. He may be perfectly happy if you simply unzip his jeans and get to it. However, he'll be even happier if you tease him and draw the whole thing out.

2. Don't use your teeth. We all know this, right? NO TEETH. Except supposedly some guys like a little nibbling. Proceed with caution, ladies.

3. Do use your tongue. It's not just about wrapping your lips around his member. Play around with your tongue, too -- especially at his most sensitive spots, like the head and (for some guys) the balls and the base of the shaft.

4. Suck to start. The Joy of Sex calls it "raising the dead" -- sometimes to get the party started you can try firm yet gentle sucking. This Reddit post on giving an epic blow job explains this technique.

5. Relax to deep throat. Lord have mercy, men do love to go spelunking. That Reddit post has some good advice: Take a deep breath and relax your jaw and throat. Stick your tongue out. And then just go with it.

6. Minimize gagging with the right position. First of all, gagging turns a lot of guys on because "OMG, your penis is so HUUUUGE it's gagging me!" (Men are so weird sometimes.) But that aside, you may gag less if you do the blow job on your back with him straddled over you head. Give it a try.

More from The Stir: One of the Most Detested Sex Acts Is Good for Women

7. Make eye contact. Apparently a lot of guys think it's hot if you can look them in the eye while blowing them.

8. Keep it wet. Blow job expert (yes, really) Auntie Angel says lubrication is the most important thing. And most guys would probably agree. So drool away, or use a flavored lube. Don't worry about getting messy.

9. That donut trick. You know the girl who ate a donut off her boyfriend's penis? It's not for everyone, so run the idea by your guy first before trying it.

10. Experiment. There's so much you can do -- here's a whole menu of oral pleasures from The Gloss. Give them a try and see what he likes.

11. Swallow. This is controversial, but the consensus seems to be that men love it when you swallow. It's definitely a more elegant solution. Bottom line is you don't have to if you don't want to -- but entertain the idea.

12. At least don't blow and run. If you don't want to let him come in your mouth or on you anywhere, communicate before you get started about how you can land a happy ending. And then, be gracious and don't treat his semen like toxic waste. That's not very sexy, and it's also not a great way to encourage intimacy.

Got any great oral sex tips of your own?

Image © Yuri/iStock

Are you a good kisser? Do you have any idea? I don't think any of us are walking around thinking "yep, I'm a lousy kisser, that's me!" However, there's always room for improvement. Yes? And since Sunday is International Kissing Day it's a good time to give yourself a smooching assessment. Perhaps your embraces use a bit of fine-tuning. Kissing, Relationship and Body Language Expert, and co-founder of L'amour TV, Katia Loisel gets us started with her list of top lip-smacking no-nos, and we've added a few more of our own. Are you guilty of any of these pucker misdemeanors?

1. The sloppy kiss: Loisel says a big, wet, open-mouthed kiss releases testosterone and can help women get in the mood. HOWEVER, you can definitely go too far with this one. Start off slow and work your way there. And watch the slobber. No one should have to wipe their mouth after a good kiss.

2. The dead fish: "Kissing is a game best played with two – so if you’re into them, don’t just sit there, show some enthusiasm and let them know that you’re into the kiss as well," Loisel says. We couldn't agree more! Don't make him do all the work, and don't let your mind wander to your to-do list. Stay focused on the fun and participate.

3. The tongue down the throat: Yeah, don't strangle him with your tongue. It's not an athletic event.

4. The darting tongue: This is when you dart your tongue in and out of his mouth like you're a lizard. I don't know that this one is really so awful, but depending on how it's done it could be kind of weird and just plain confusing.

5. The same-o same-o: Do you kiss the exact same way every time? We all love familiarity, but try and vary things a bit. "Studies show that men rate tongue kissing higher than women, so spice things up by alternating between a hot and heavy smooch and a more sensual kiss," Loisel suggests.

6. The vacuum cleaner: Maybe don't turn his head inside-out with your kiss. UNLESS he actually like that kind of kiss ...

7. The dry peck: Aww, this is the sad kiss that says, "yeah, not really into you right now." At least try for a little softness in there and linger a tiny bit.

8. The breath of death: Unavoidable for that first kiss of the morning in bed. But otherwise, check your breath before you go in for the smooch. Let's stop pretending women never had bad breath or fart.

9. The creepy stare: A lot of couples smooch with our eyes closed. Every once in a while it's fun to kiss with eyes open, but make sure you avoid that awkward moment when he happens to peek and all he sees is you giving him a dead stare, like you're spy trying to decide if it's time to stab him in the neck with your stiletto.

Do you have any kissing pet peeves?

Image via © Yuri/iStock

You probably heard the big news over the weekend -- finally, after two kids and two postponements, Jessica Simpson married Eric Johnson. Yay! The nuptials took place at the San Ysidro Ranch, their children Maxwell and Ace walked down the aisle, there were barbecue and horseshoes and croquet at the reception, and it all sounds downright perfect for these two. BUT! We've been holding our breath for the most important details: Da dress. We want to see it! People magazine is finally spilling on Jessica Simpson's wedding day lookand they have the first formal portrait of the bride. Have you seen it? I'll just say this: It was well worth the wait.

You can see Simpson's first official wedding portrait here -- and we're hoping we see more, soon! Here's what else we've learned about the bride's style.

1. The dress. Simpson wore a custom champagne and gold strapless multi-layer tulle gown designed by Carolina Herrera. "The whole dress is embroidered in gold and feels very regal” so as to transform the bride into "a beautiful golden girl," Herrera told People. The designer stitched a blue ribbon to the inside of the gown for Simpson's "something blue." "I always do that because I think it brings good luck," she says.

2. The veil. Simpson went with full drama to complement her gown and wore a cathedral-length veil. This is the longest type of veil, usually well over 100 inches long and trailing behind the bride.

3. The shoes. The bride wore Brian Atwood shoes -- perhaps a pair of princessy golden slippers like these.

4. The jewelry. A stylist and friend chose Neil Lane diamond earrings to sparkle with the dress: big diamond danglers set in gold. Masterminding Simpson's wedding look "was a labor of love," she says.

5. The makeup. To complement the formal, glittering gown and veil, Simpson's makeup artist Karan Mitchell went with a "romantic palette" for her makeup. In the first official portrait, we see some pale pink lipstick and mauve eye shadow.

6. The hair. Simpson's hairstylist Roque Jimenez describes her hairstyle as "sexy, easy, and ethereal ... Nothing too contrived." It's pulled back into a simple half updo with barely the loosest curls cascading down her back.

What do you think of Jessica Simpson's wedding style?

Image via David Buchan/Getty

Ah, vacation time is finally here. Time for some rest, relaxation, and an epic brawl with your husband over whether you should  have turned south at the fork in the road or if it was actually quite obvious that you should have kept going EAST, YOU IDIOT!!

Deep breath. Does that sound familiar? It's amazing how a vacation that's supposed to be fun and rejuvenating can also be so stressful, especially for couples. But with the right strategy you can restore peace to your holiday. Here's how to avoid fighting with your spouse while on vacation ... much. Here's three of the most common fights we have on a trip and how to deal with them.

1. One of you wants adventure while the other wants to chill.Relationship expert Andrea Syrtash, author of Cheat on Your Husband With Your Husband says, "it's important for both of you to communicate your needs so you both feel like you had a vacation." One option is to occasionally do things separately and meet up again later. Or you can alternate itineraries -- follow your vacation agenda one day, follow his agenda the next day.

Mike Willits of the travel advice blog 1000 Fights says the key to resolving this argument is "finding a compromise that works for both. Find the win/win.  Sometimes it’s as simple as saying, 'Lets do this then lets do that.'”

2. You can't agree on how much money to spend on what. Syrtash says it's important to agree on a travel budget before you leave. Some couples might even want to contribute to a travel fund. It's a negotiation, like everything else in a relationship. Try to get on the same page before you leave. And remember, "One person shouldn't be controlling the entire vacation" unless the other person agrees that's okay, Syrtash says.

3. You're just plain tired/hungry/cranky. And then there's what Willits calls the "Tired and Fired" fight. That's when you're worn out from being on your feet all day, touring. Or you have jet lag. Or you're hungry. Syrtash says you need to be aware of this possibility. If you find yourself picking a battle when you're hungry or tired, stop. This may not be the best time to hash out an issue.

Willits agrees. He says the key to avoiding this escalation is to recognize the signs that you're stepping things up emotionally because you're fried. "Admit that you're both irritated and tired and go buy some gelato. Problem solved."

Both Syrtash and Willits say it's healthy for a couple to have disagreements while traveling. Willits says just make sure you're both forthcoming about what you want. "The true beauty of exploring the world as a couple is learning more about your love in a unique setting," he says.

What kinds of fights do you and your spouse have when you're on a trip together?

Image ©iStock.com/zusek  

Just when you think it's safe to get married -- BOOM! A twister sends you off to the land of Oz. That's what looks like is about to happen in this amazing wedding portrait of a tornado photobombing a bride and groomin Saskatchewan, Canada. There they are, kissing and holding hands like they've got the brightest future ahead of them. And there's a dangerous twister looming in the background. Has there ever been a better visual metaphor for the institution of marriage? And of more urgent concern, did this couple survive their wedding?!? You won't believe what was really going on here.

The couple looks completely oblivious to the storm behind them. But it turns out not only did they see the twister, they decided to use it for a dramatic backdrop. You will be relieved to know it was not headed in their direction, so it's not quite as dangerous as it looks. I mean, these two are crazy-in-love, but they're not completely insane.

Wedding photographer Colleen Niska told BuzzFeed she was out with the bride and groom when they spotted the twister in the far distance. No one was frightened; instead, she says, "We were pretty excited as none of us had witnessed a tornado before and thought it was a pretty cool opportunity. I wasn’t going to pass on it!"

Niska snapped away and then excitedly posted some of the twister wedding shots on Facebook. "I've dreamed about a day like this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Could NOT wait to post these! Pretty sure this will only happen once in my lifetime!" For once I fully endorse this use of multiple exclamation points. In this context? It's 100 percent warranted.

And wow, how lucky is this couple to have such a dramatic and unique wedding portrait!

Now that I know the back story, I love these photos even more. And about that metaphor for marriage -- that works even better as well. Imagine, two people holding hands, bravely facing whatever looms in their future (okay, fine, the tornado isn't heading toward them, just go along with it anyway) with excitement and confidence. That really is the best attitude to have when you dare to attempt one of life's greatest adventures, don't you think?

Would you be brave enough to pose like this in front of a tornado?

Image via Colleen Niska/Facebook

You will find American-style fast food in nearly every corner of the globe these days. Just yesterday a friend of mine was telling me she saw a Starbucks on her trip to Cairo, Egypt. And you're guaranteed to see a McDonald's pretty much everywhere you go ... just don't expect the exact same menu. While the appeal of US fast food is spreading, many fast food restaurants also like to cater to local tastes, often in mind-boggling ways. You have to see what they're calling a burger around the world. You'll wish some of these were sold here, too.

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Everyone who knows Julie and Karl Savage will tell you they had an amazingly close, passionate, harmonious marriage. It was the kind of relationship everyone wants. But it was a union that should have never worked in the first place. When they met, Julie was a 20-year-old sheltered girl from a large, prominent Washington D.C.-area family. Karl was an 18-year-old rebellious, pot-smoking, suicidal biker from a poor, emotionally abusive one.

Julie's parents strongly objected to their relationship and even more to their marriage. She was the daughter of a doctor father and a socialite mother. Her parents wanted her to marry one of the many promising, wealthy young men they kept throwing at her and enjoy a life of stability.

Instead, Julie chose a life of adventure with a penniless young man. It didn't last -- but not for the reason you think.

They stayed married, and their love helped them overcome incredible odds. But then, the 42-year-old suburban D.C. mom and homemaker lost her young husband of 40 to heart disease.

Julie first met Karl on their college campus. "I saw this beautiful boy sitting under a tree," she recalls. They were instantly attracted to each other. Little did Julie know that Karl was pretty much failing his first semester of school, though. He wasn't exactly husband material.

More From The Stir: 14 Ways You Can Tell He's Husband Material

Karl had spent his teens smoking a lot of pot and struggling with depression and suicidal feelings. Just a few months before starting college, though, he'd quit smoking and found God -- but he was barely hanging onto his good intentions. He was still caught in what Julie calls a cosmic battle between his depression and his desire to live a full, happy life. He came from a tough family, religiously dogmatic on the outside but emotionally abusive behind closed doors. 

Despite his family background and history of drug use and depression, Julie could see that Karl seemed to have a heart of gold and great potential to make the people around him happy. "I knew early on there was this essence in him that was really good," she says now.

What drew Karl to Julie was that she was different from the other peppy girls he knew at school. She could be irreverent and a little rebellious. But she wasn’t another one of the dark, toxic girls he’d dated before.

"He felt like there was a light that I had, that I was good," she says. "I was cool, but not crazy."

This combination could have turned into one of those tragic, co-dependent relationships filled with relapses and betrayals.  But it didn't. Julie loved Karl for who he was right then: an intelligent, imaginative, kind-hearted person with potential. She knew he was trying to change himself for the better, to stay off drugs, and get a more hopeful attitude toward life. But she didn't harbor any dreams of "reforming" Karl. 

After an intense fall of dating and seeing each other nearly every day, Julie and Karl were separarated for almost three years, with just a few visits in between. Julie studied abroad, and they both took time off college to volunteer for service projects in other countries (an important spiritual rite of passage for members of the Mormon church community). It was during this period of separation that Karl matured and became the well-adjusted, loving, mentally-healthy man he would remain for the rest of his life.

He came out more whole than anyone else I’ve ever known. He did this transformation all on his own. Maybe I gave him a hook into something. But it was his own journey. He wasn’t doing it just for me. I didn’t know if he was going to figure it out. 

Karl wanted to marry Julie right after they returned, but she was scared. Her mom was strongly opposed to the match and desperately wanted her to marry someone who could provide for her and her future children amply. Not some penniless dreamer with ZERO prospects! It didn't help that while visiting Julie's family Karl wound up spending a night in jail over some unpaid traffic tickets. Julie knew Karl could relapse and return to his substance abuse and dark moods. Plus, she'd grown up thinking she would become the matriarch of a large, well-off family. And Karl had few prospects -- just one failed year of college. 

"I just prayed and cried and worried for months," she says. "Marriage is a big deal. You don’t want to get that wrong." Finally, Julie felt right about tying the knot with Karl. "I had this feeling the life stuff would work itself out," she says. And it did. They finished school, had three children, and Karl took a teaching job (Julie taught as well until she had her third child). Julie's family came to adore Karl and appreciate his unique gifts. Karl and Julie gave a lot to their community, but they always put their family, and especially each other, first.

As a teacher, Karl came home from work when the kids came home from school. He took summers off and went on road trips with the family. He cooked a lot. And he turned down higher-paying jobs that would have taken him away from his family.

"Everybody wanted a piece of Karl, but he saved the best parts of himself for me. He said no to a lot of things," Julie says, because "he wanted nothing more than to be here with us." It's like he knew he'd be leaving them early -- but of course he didn't know that at all.

Julie allowed me to see two scrapbooks she made after her husband's death. They're filled with photographs of them together, his poetry (so much heart-melting poetry!), journal entries, and notes he left her. What comes shining through is how besotted they were with each other through their entire marriage, and how deeply they supported each other. They were always rooting for each other to be their best possible selves, to find their respective life purpose. They were always fascinated with each other. Julie says:

At our core we cared about what we had. We didn’t want to do anything to get in the way of it. I could go out into the world and be vulnerable because I knew I could come home and plug into safety. He was my safe place. He would just love me. Neither of us had to be self-protective because we were protective of each other.

Here's a poem Karl wrote in 1996:

So -- you have all of that. You have this beautiful, exquisite, fulfilling marriage between a husband and wife from the opposite side of the tracks. And then, just like that ... the husband is gone. Karl returned home from a camping trip with his family on a Saturday. He had no symptoms. The following Wednesday he suffered a heart arrhythmia and died. His family history of heart diesease finally caught him.

Julie has no regrets. What she and Karl had for a brief time was worth the grief she feels now. She had the kind of love everyone aspires to but rarely is lucky enough to find.

"We were just supposed to find each other," she says. "It’s the thing I know the most in the whole wide world. It was like we were touching souls."

What do you think make Julie and Karl's marriage work so well?

Photos © Ron Levine / 13/Digital Vision/Ocean/Corbis, courtesy of Julie Savage

Anyone remember that shampoo from the 1980s, Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific? It had deer musk, you see, so it made you very attractive to, um, male deer? And human males, too, I'm assuming. Anyway, ever since then we have been obsessed with deliciously-scented shampoo. Who doesn't want to flick their long mane in slow motion and have their luscious locks release an enchanting fragrance that mesmerizes everyone around her? Or is that just me?

At any rate, there is no shortage of exquisitely-scented shampoos that cost an arm and a leg. So we went hunting for the best-smelling shampoos that cost under ten bucks -- well under ten bucks, in some cases. Here's our favorites.

More from The Stir: 3 Dry Shampoos That Will Change How You Wash Your Hair

Image © ValuaVitaly/iStock

Ah, vacation time is finally here. Time for some rest, relaxation and ... an epic brawl with your husband over whether you should have turned south at the fork in the road or if it was actually quite obvious that you should have kept going EAST, YOU IDIOT!!

Deep breath. Does that sound familiar? It's amazing how a vacation that's supposed to be fun and rejuvenating can also be so stressful, especially for couples. But with the right strategy, you can restore peace to your holiday. We all want to know how to avoid fighting with our spouse on vacation. Well, here's three of the most common fights couples have on a trip and how to deal with them.

1. One of you wants adventure while the other wants to chill.Relationship expert Andrea Syrtash, author of Cheat on Your Husband With Your Husband says, "It's important for both of you to communicate your needs so you both feel like you had a vacation." One option is to occasionally do things separately and meet up again later. Or you can alternate itineraries -- follow your vacation agenda one day, follow his agenda the next day.

Mike Willits of the travel advice blog 1000 Fights says the key to resolving this argument is "finding a compromise that works for both. Find the win/win. Sometimes it’s as simple as saying, 'Let's do this, then let's do that.'”

2. You can't agree on how much money to spend on what. Syrtash says it's important to agree on a travel budget before you leave. Some couples might even want to contribute to a travel fund. It's a negotiation, like everything else in a relationship. Try to get on the same page before you leave. He also warns that "one person shouldn't be controlling the entire vacation" unless the other person agrees that's okay.

3. You're just plain tired/hungry/cranky. And then there's what Willits calls the "Tired and Fired" fight. That's when you're worn out from being on your feet all day, touring. Or you have jet lag. Or you're hungry. Syrtash says you need to be aware of this travel pitfall. If you find yourself picking a battle when you're hungry or tired, stop. This may not be the best time to hash out an issue.

Willits agrees. He says the key to avoiding this escalation is to recognize the signs. When you're stepping things up emotionally because you're fried, then simply "admit that you're both irritated and tired and go buy some gelato. Problem solved."

Both Syrtash and Willits say it's healthy for a couple to have disagreements while traveling. Willits suggests making sure you're both forthcoming about what you want. He says, "The true beauty of exploring the world as a couple is learning more about your love in a unique setting."

What kinds of fights do you and your spouse have when you're on a trip together?

Image ©iStock.com/zusek  

Welp, that's the way the cupcake crumbles. Giant cupcake chainCrumbs is closing all its stores, the company announced Monday. As of last night, all 51 locations across 12 states have been shuttered. It's the cupcakepalypse! Abandon all hope, cupcake lovers, for this is the beginning of the end of the cupcake trend as we know it. Or is it?

At a time like this, we all have to ask ourselves this important question: What does this mean for the future of cupcakes?

I'm a believer. I think good cupcakes are here to say. And so does Allison Robicelli, co-owner of my favorite bakery, Robicelli's, and co-author of the cookbook Robicelli's: A Love Story With Cupcakes. She was not surprised by the news -- apparently the big company had been struggling for months. But then she also doesn't see cupcakes as just a trend. As she once wrote in The Medium, "Know why cupcakes aren't going anywhere? Because you need something to be 'the next cupcake' just like you need something to be 'the new black.' It's not a bubble; it's a genre." 

That was over a year ago. I asked Robicelli what she thinks of Crumbs closing now, and she said we shouldn't let one company define the world of little cakes. "There are literally tens of thousands of bakeries across the world making cupcakes that are amazing," she told me. She's sad about so many people losing their jobs -- until yesterday Crumbs had 165 full-time employees and about 655 part-time hourly employees. But cupcakes are not going anywhere.

I was explaining my love of cupcakes to my boyfriend just the other day. It's cake, but it's portable and hand-held. It's a single serving. You can buy just one and walk out with it. Otherwise, you'd have to bake or buy a whole cake, or order a slice at a restaurant. The proportion of cake to frosting is (usually) ideal. There are infinite flavor possibilities. And how many of us have wonderful memories of eating cupcakes at birthday parties as kids? Here's Robicelli again, explaining why Crumbs is gone but cupcakes are here to stay.

Cupcakes are one of life's greatest joys when they're made well, and with love. When they begin to taste like a commodity, like fast food burgers, you strip it of everything that was wonderful. It no longer seems like a celebration.

So there you have it. Maybe Crumbs lost sight of its mission, creating magic through cake. But like Robicelli says, there are tens of thousands of people who are still working that magic. You know the saying -- when 51 Crumbs store doors close, many little mom 'n' pop bakery windows open. So just look out for those bakeries -- or make your own cupcakes!

Are you so over cupcakes, or do you think they're much more than a trend?

Image via m01229/Flickr

Okay, want to see the most adorbs newlywed photo two people can possibly take? Here's Jill Dillard giving Derick a haircut. Everyone: Aww! Jill used the clippers to groom her guy and the hashtag "#savemoneylivebetter" to share. It's hard to tell if this is before or after the already clean-cut Derick got trimmed, but he sure looks happy with a towel over his shoulders and his new wife attending to him. But this photo isn't just about saving money -- it's also a great way for a new couple to bond.

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I'm sure the Duggars would tell you, little acts of service like these bring a husband and wife together. It's a cliche because it's true. Derick is going to be one of those sweet old men who still gets a haircut from his wife at the age of 83. It'll be one of their rituals. Or not! I mean, maybe someday he'll start going to a barber. But even then, they'll always remember their newlywed days when she cut his hair.

Of course, this could go south quickly. Another couple could end up quarreling over what he wants and what she delivers. So this is also a great exercise in working together, appreciating each other's efforts, and communicating with love.

But if everything is working, this is a sweet activity for a couple. You're touching each other a lot, she's looking at him (and probably admiring him), and everything else has stopped so they can have this moment. It's just a chore that needs to be done, but it's the kind of chore that can bring a couple closer together. I hope they keep it up.

Are there any ordinary chores or rituals you and your husband do together that brings you closer?

Image ©iStock.com/grubl, via jillmdillard/Instagram

It happens in a lot of long-term relationships: You or your spouse lets himself go. Maybe you put on a lot of weight after the baby and it seems too hopeless to get back into shape. Maybe he's overwhelmed with work and health issues and has just given up. What do you do? You want the two of you to be your best selves, to enjoy good health and remain vital and ... okay, almost as fun and sexy as you were when you first met. But you know what's going to happen if you bring it up: You're going to put your spouse on the defensive, and it's going to backfire.

We asked relationship expert and author Dr. Logan Levkoff for advice on the best way to approach this issue constructively and lovingly.

1. Make sure you're being realistic in your expectations. There's a difference between the ordinary changes a body faces over time and actually giving up and not caring about your health and appearance anymore. Women's bodies especially get altered after childbirth. But for men and women, it's not a big deal to gain a few pounds over the years. None of us gets frozen in time.

2. Dig deeper than looks. Levkoff says when someone lets themselves go, "it's often because a person has checked out of the relationship and their own lives." She warns against starting a conversation about how your spouse looks. No good can come from that! And it's not going to get at the root of the issue.

3. Ask yourself, "What would I want to hear?" Put yourself in your spouse's shoes and imagine how you'd want to have this conversation. This will help you to be gentle and empathetic.

4. Stay on the same team. Levkoff suggests starting with something like, "It seems like you're not happy -- what can we do to make you feel more confident and comfortable? What can we do together?" You're in this as a team, so don't make your spouse feel attacked or like a loser. Make it clear that you are there to enable them to be their best selves. And then be ready to listen without judgment.

Getting at the deeper cause behind your spouse's physical changes is going to help you both more in the long run. You'll get at the real root of the problem, and you'll be showing you care about the whole person, not just their looks. Taking on an attitude of teamwork will help even more.

Has this happened to you? How are you handling it?

Image © stevecoleimages/iStock