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Um, I'm sorry, but could we talk about something kinda sorta important? No biggie. It's just that we women apologize way too often about things that need NO apology whatsoever. In an op ed today Sloane Crosley says we're not even really sorry when we apologize. We're just being passive aggressive.
I'm not talking about saying "I'm sorry" to admit you've done something wrong. I'm talking about using those words to hide when you're feeling annoyed or angry, or when you need to ask for something. It's bad manners, Crosley says. "It's a poor translation for a string of expletives." So we should stop.
It’s not what we’re saying that’s the problem, it’s what we’re not saying. The sorrys are taking up airtime that should be used for making logical, declarative statements, expressing opinions and relaying accurate impressions of what we want.
Wow, okay. Now I'm sorry I've been apologizing so much. Sorry everybody! I want to be more assertive, but it just feels so awkward.
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Trying to stop saying "I'm sorry" all the time is difficult. But if you've ever tried it you may love how liberating it feels. Give it a try! Here's a few scenarios you may want to try out.
1. When you need someone to move out of your way and they're acting oblivious.
I'm sorry but could you please... AHEM. Excuse me.
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2. When the waiter brings you the wrong order.
I'm sorry, I could be wrong about this, but I think... Oh, I ordered the braised river trout, not the double bacon cheeseburger.
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3. When you need to tell a police officer about a random stranger who just groped you.
Um, sorry, excuse me, but ugh Yo! That man right there (pointing) just groped me. I did not like that!
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4. When someone gets your name wrong. Again.
Sorry, I'm such a pest, I know, it's a little thing, but... My name is Frances Ramirez, not Wendy O'Malley.
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5. When someone's kid has just clocked your kid upside the head with a metal sand bucket.
I'm sorry, I may be interpreting this wrong and I don't mean to criticize your parenting but... Dude, your kid just hit my kid! That is not okay!
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6. When some overgrown manchild wants to commandeer more than one piece of equipment at the same time at a very busy gym. And there are no extras. And you need one of those things. And you're at the very end of your workout.
I'm sorry, but can I just use this quickly while you're finishing that set... You're not using this right now so I'm using it.
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7. When a car has hit you and you're lying on the sidewalk, bleeding.
I'm sorry, I hate to trouble you, but it seems I'm in a bit of trouble here... HELP SOMEONE CALL 911!
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8. When you beat your boyfriend at "Words With Friends."
Ohmygosh, I'm so sorry! I don't know how this wee little pea brain of mine... (No words, just a victory dance.)
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9. When you're about to say something negative about someone, but you don't want anyone to think you're a mean person for saying it.
I'm sorry, but that mom's attire is so... Holy s---, do you see those booty shorts Melinda is wearing? Too much for tea time, wouldn't you say?
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10. Your hairdresser just ignored everything you asked for and gave you a completely different haircut.
I'm sorry, I must have been unclear (The MOMENT you notice your haircut going wrong) No no no no no! Stop!
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Here's a few more examples of unnecessary apologies.
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Do you ever say "I'm sorry" when you actually mean something completely different?
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