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Is there a point of no return when it comes to sex? Is it ever too late to say "no"? One therapist we respect for her wisdom and experience says yes. While on the Diane Rehm radio show Dr. Ruth Westheimer said she was worried about the college campus rape stories, but not for the reason you'd think. Oh Dr. Ruth, we're so disappointed to hear you say this!
There's no doubt sexual encounters between young, inexperienced people can get confusing, especially if alcohol is involved. It's so easy for young women to feel pressured or powerless in certain situations. But it sounds like Dr. Ruth is blaming the victims. Here's what she told Rehm.
I am very worried about college campuses saying that a woman and a man — or two men or two women, but I talk right now about women and men — can be in bed together and at one time, naked, and at one time he or she, most of the time they think she, can say 'I changed my mind.'
What the hell, of course a woman can change her mind even if she's naked! Too late? Too bad. Sorry you got all excited and thought you were going to have intercourse. Looks like she wants to stop at the point of heavy petting. The end. Why is this so hard to understand?
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Because, Dr. Ruth says, once a man is aroused he loses his ability to reason. "In the Talmud, in the Jewish tradition, it says when that part of the male anatomy is aroused and there’s an erection, the brain flies out of that, and we have to take that very seriously, so I don’t agree with that."
Not to go into too much detail, but as a 40-something woman I have witnessed men's ability to reason even while they have a tremendous erection countless times. It is something to behold (both the erection and their ability to think with one). Let's not insult men. They're not that dumb nor are they prisoners of their body.
It gets worse, though, because when Dr. Ruth tried to clarify her comment on Twitter she just dug her self deeper.
[code]
I am 100% against rape. I do say to women if they don't want to have sex with a man, they should not be naked in bed w/him.
— Dr. Ruth Westheimer (@AskDrRuth) June 2, 2015Oh Dr. Ruth. I love some of the responses, though.
[code]
@AskDrRuth Dr. Ruth this reads like you're only 60% against rape. What are you doing.
— Cute Squid Artist (@uncooldana) June 2, 2015[code]
"I'm 100% against theft but if you don't want to be robbed, don't carry money." @AskDrRuth I'm still praying you were hacked.
— Carolyn Castiglia (@missckc) June 2, 2015Right? But no, Dr. Ruth's Twitter account wasn't hacked. She really is engaging in victim blaming.
Look, no one likes getting the bait and switch. Being led on makes people angry. We know this. But sex is messy, and sometimes you start off thinking having sex is a good idea, and then you realize, for whatever reason, that it isn't. So you say "no" or "stop" -- and that's your right, even if you're naked in bed with someone. Even if you're married.
The only silver lining in this dismaying news is seeing how many other people, male and female, are willing to step up and say why Dr. Ruth is wrong about this.
What do you think about Dr. Ruth's comments on rape?
Image via : Blayze / Splash News
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.