Legendary Hollywood beauty Elizabeth Taylor famously had seven husbands -- one of them, Richard Burton, she even married twice! But we've found a real-life Elizabeth Taylor: Mom of two Angela Neustaitter claims she's had seven different husbands through 42 years of marriage. There's a funny twist to her story, though.
It turns out Ms. Neustaitter is taking a bit of poetic license when she says she's had seven different marriages. The truth is she's been married to Olly Neustaitter for 42 years -- and no, he doesn't have multiple personality disorder. It's just that life's ups and downs have so dramatically changed the dynamics of their marriage, it's as if she's been married to seven different men.
Okay, I was tempted to roll my eyes at that, too, except this is something a lot of long-married couples can relate to. "In fact," Ms. Neustaitter says, "you can have many different marriages with the same man, for both halves of a long-term relationship cannot fail to change — at times quite radically — over the years."
Neustaitter's husband started out a "fun-loving adventurer," morphed into "recalcitrant husband" as she took on a serious career, "compassionate husband" as he took in her aging father, "loving father" when they became parents, "distant husband" as they both logged in longer work hours, "separate but together husband" when the empty nesters decided to live on separate floors of their house, and finally, the "grandfather husband" -- Olly moved back in with his wife when one of their sons moved back home with his own family.
Some of those "husbands" seem not so different from the others, from the outside, anyway. But from the inside, small changes feel bigger.
The thing is we all change over time. The person you fall in love with today will not be the same person even just a decade from now. And that's kind of a scary prospect! A lot of couples split because they can't handle that change.
And even if you make peace with the idea that you'll both change over time, it's really hard to predict exactly how you'll each change. Life is full of surprises -- some happier than others.
I almost think it might be easier to have seven actually different husbands than to make seven major shifts in your marriage.
But on the other hand, change sounds exciting. You "get" to shake up your marriage every few years. Who really wants to stay the same forever, anyway? That would get boring. I think the key is to accept that change is inevitable -- and to hang in there with courage and curiosity.
Have you seen your husband change into a different person already? How have you changed since your wedding?
Image via EpicStockMedia/Shutterstock