Summer is just around the corner -- which means it's time to put THIGH GAP at the top of your worry list. You know, that space between your thighs that lets the world know your body is bikini-worthy? That little bit of emptiness we should all be using to measure our self esteem? I jest. No one really needs one. But apparently a lot of women really want one. Which is why a Dallas salon is offering "thigh gap therapy," a laser treatment that zaps away that little bit of pudge that keeps you from looking like Heidi Klum. Oh yeah -- and it won't hurt a bit!
All you have to do is fork over a thousand dollars and allow someone to point a laser at your crotch. Totally worth it!
Okay ... anyone with a shred of common sense is going to call snake oil on this treatment immediately. But let's hear it all out anyway. Thrive salon offers a "cold" laser treatment called Zerona. "The laser goes in and it basically emulsifies that outside layer of the fat, and allows it to exit out of your lymphatic system," says Thrive owner Clint Herzog. This allows a clinic to do spot treatments in your "problem" areas -- excluding the problem area in your brain that tells you your body has problem areas, of course.
One blogger tried laser fat removal and claims it actually worked. She did 9 hour-long sessions over 2 weeks. But it wasn't just the lasers doing the work. "During this time I was cautioned to eat very clean, work out moderately, wear compression undergarments, and drink so much water that if peeing were an Olympic sport I'd win gold."
And the result? Just a 1/4 inch from each thigh and one inch off her hips. Hmm, not a lot of bang for your buck there, not to mention you could easily attribute those results to clean eating, working out modestly, wearing compression undergarments, and drinking so much water that if peeing were an Olympic sport you'd win gold. Know what I mean?
Guess who else is impressed? Oh my God, here's Dr. Oz enthusing over fat-melting laser treatments. No, not you, too, Dr. Oz! In his segment, though, you're still using liposuction -- it's just that the lasers make it a little less traumatic. Whatever.
File this one under Yet Another Thing Rich People Are Wasting Money On So Don't Worry, You're Not Missing Out. I think we're always wishing for some magic wand to make those stubborn little pockets of fat disappear without going under the knife. But not even spot exercises will do that. You can't just throw money at your body. But guess what's FREE? Clean eating, working out, and drinking lots of water. So is self-acceptance.
Do you think laser fat removal could actually works or is it just another way to suck money out of people?
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