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Clik here to view.It sounds quaintly old-fashioned, but not too long ago phone sex was very much hot and happening. Sexting may be all the rage right now, but there's something incredibly intimate and exciting about actually hearing another person's voice when you're doing something naughty. Not to mention, now that we have videoconferencing technology like Skype and FaceTime, phone sex has a visual element that ramps up the fun even more.

Whether you've got a husband in the military stationed far away, or your man goes on a lot of business trips, or you're just looking for new things to try together, this is a super sexy way to connect with your guy.

But it definitely takes some daring. If you've long been curious about phone sex but worried you'd sound ridiculous, fear not. You just need some prep and practice. There are tricks to making it work that anyone can try -- even you!

1. Agree on the right time and place. "If you’re feeling frisky in the middle of the day and decide to a make a 'surprise' FaceTime call in your naughty policewoman costume with your nipples out, your man might pick up in a conference room surrounded by his colleagues," cautions sexy lifestyle expert Dana B. Myers. "Not good."

Spontaneity is good for sex in general. But when it comes to phone sex, plan ahead so you can make sure you have the privacy and time to focus on each other without interruptions or unintended audience members -- hello, like the kids!

2. Work out your best video angles, positions, and lighting in advance. "Seeing yourself naked and exposed in an unflattering light can be alarming," says Myers, "and take you out of your seductive mindset in a flash." So play around while looking at yourself on your phone before you start your date. "With a little solo practice, you'll find the camera angles and positions that make you look and feel like a gorgeous goddess of love, accentuating your curves and building the sexy confidence you need to get turned on and ready to play," she says.

More from The Stir: 7 Ways to Look Pretty on Skype (for a Change!)

3. Plan what to say and do before you start. This is one more valuable bit of planning that pays off. "Think about sexy scenarios to act out," Myers advises. This could involve wearing a costume or being naked in the kitchen with just an apron on. "Your whole FaceTime session could simply be pleasuring yourself, which, if you don't already know, is pretty much every man's dream to watch." 

4. Use your own words. "Think about the language you're comfortable using, so that you don't feel tongue-tied and clam up the minute you get going," Myers recommends. "Practice a little bit beforehand describing what you're doing to yourself or what you'd do to him if you were together."

5. Be descriptive, very descriptive. Especially if there's no video to your phone sex date, be sure to describe what you're wearing and doing in detail. "It’s sexy for your partner to hear you talk about what you’re doing, especially if he thinks he inspired it," says former phone sex operator Miranda Austin.

6. Play with your voice. Do NOT use the same voice you use when you ask your husband to pick up diapers on his way home from work! "Lower your voice until it's just louder than a whisper," Stacey Weiss, author of Secrets of a Phone Sex Operator, tells Cosmo magazine. "And elongate your words — stretching them out sounds soothing and sexy." 

7. Ask questions. Still wondering what to say? Erotic expert Susie Bright has an easy suggestion for phone sex beginners: "Ask leading questions. Listen. Use euphemisms to make you both squirm. It's not four-letter words that make or break a phone call."

But you also want to involve him too and not just make it a lusty monologue.

"Good phone sex is like a game of tennis," says phone sex operator Sindy St. James. "It's a constant back-and-forth and give-and-take. Be descriptive, but then ask a question to allow your partner to take over. After painting a vivid vision of how you would kiss your partner from head to lower body, ask, 'How do you want me to use the tip of my tongue?'"

Feeling inspired now? A little bit of planning goes a long way. Keep in mind, your husband my have some frisky ideas of his own. Remember, the golden rule of improvisation theater applies here: Say "yes" rather than "no, that's a dumb idea." Above all, just relax and have fun with it. When taken lightly, it can be just the extra spice your long-term relationship needs!

Have you tried phone sex lately? What tips do you suggest?

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Have you ever wondered where all your missing socks go? It never fails -- every time I do the laundry, a sock or two just plain disappears. Is there a sock-eating monster living in the dryer? I can't explain my situation, but apparently one household does have a sock-eating beast under their roof. After a family rushed their sick pet to the animal emergency room, surgery revealed the Great Dane had 43 and a half socks in its stomach.

I'll let that sink in: THE DOG ATE NEARLY 44 SOCKS.

Maybe "ate" isn't exactly the right word -- more like swallowed.

So 43 socks. For a family of four, that's 10 socks per family member. Which means up to five pairs have been split up, though at this volume, the dog did probably end up swallowing a few full pairs. Regardless, that's a whole lotta socks.

And that begs the question: How did the family not notice the disappearance of 43 socks? It would take some time for an animal to chow down that many pieces, I would think. But then I don't have a dog. Maybe rapid consumption of socks is one of the many talents of Great Danes. Maybe this is the canine Kobayashi of socks.

While I'm asking questions, what is it about socks that makes them more delicious than, say, briefs? I get that their size makes them easy to swallow. But why ONLY socks? Is it the smell? Ew, I don't even want to contemplate that idea.

Finally, the truly gross question: Will the family wash and continue using the socks retrieved from their pet's belly? Just kidding -- of course they won't. Although I would not be thrilled with the prospect of replacing so many socks. Cha-ching! Not a fun expense.

No, actually, the real question should be: Is this poor pooch all right? Well, the 3-year-old dog endured over two hours of surgery and came out just fine. Back to its usual tricks, I'm sure!

What's the craziest thing your pet has ever eaten?

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If you've been feeling guilty about failing to serve your family a perfect, home-cooked meal night after night, I have wonderful news for you: According to a new study, thehome-cooked meal is seriously overrated. Pass the takeout menu!

For a year and a half, a group of sociologists looked at all the hassle moms go through to put a nutritious meal on the table. They followed women from all walks of life as they went grocery shopping and as they cooked (or tried to cook) dinner for their families. "Cooking is at times joyful," their report says, "but it is also filled with time pressures, tradeoffs designed to save money, and the burden of pleasing others."

Well no kidding. I could've told them that myself. I used to be one of those moms who always put a home-cooked meal on the table night after night.

Before I became a mom, I loved cooking. It was my passion. I spent hours poring over cooking magazines, shopping at specialty markets, and experimenting in the kitchen. So what if we didn't eat dinner until 9 or 10 at night? I was in heaven.

Cooking became even more important to me when I had my son. I had his nutrition to think of, after all. In fact, I became almost militant about family dinner. Why couldn't more people just make time to cook? It's not that hard! Didn't they realize how IMPORTANT it is?!?

Easy for me to say. I had a husband who cleaned up after all my messes, and I was a freelancer who worked at home. It's so easy to be righteous when you have that kind of support.

Things changed when I got a full-time job and started commuting into the city every day. We ate dinner later, and I started cooking simpler meals.

More from The Stir: 8 Dinner Shortcuts Using Rotisserie Chicken

Then my husband and I split up (not because of all the cleaning up he was doing, by the way). I tried to keep up the Gwyneth Paltrow organic supermom routine, but the burden of that and grocery shopping -- for two hours every weekend, ugh! -- started to wear on me.

And when I started a new relationship? Forget it. Here's what happened to cooking: When I start rattling off the things I could cook for dinner ("um let's see, I have some brown rice, and there's an eggplant, and I still have some basil ..."), my boyfriend gives me a look you give a confused child, pulls out his cellphone, and orders delivery. Did you know that I am surrounded by dozens of restaurants that cook perfectly fresh, healthy food? True story.

It's not because he doesn't appreciate my cooking. It's because my kitchen is a narrow dark corridor and because he wants my full attention. NOT my chopping-and-talking half attention.

By the way, this tiny, dark kitchen is also why my son and I don't while away the hours cooking together side-by-side like all good families are supposed to do. That and he has zero interest in cooking.

Meanwhile, there are dual-career parents who are still churning out the family dinners, and they'll tell you all about their strategies. "In the 15 minutes before you leave for work, throw a few things into the Crock-Pot ..." say food writers Jenny Rosenstracht and Andy Ward in a recent issue of Bon Appetit. What 15 minutes?!? Please, Jenny and Andy, come to my home and find me that 15 minutes, because I do NOT know what the hell you're talking about.

Or you find out either the wife or the husband is doing a LOT of prep work on the weekends. Super! That's exactly how I want to spend my Sundays: Baking a dozen mini-lasagnas, cooking massive amounts of chili, and making my Nona's seven-hour marinara. That. Sounds. Swell.

I don't even like chili.

Here's another idea. I could NOT do that and spend the weekend connecting with the people I love and who want to spend time with me doing something other than cooking.

I haven't given up on family dinner altogether. But I've pared way, way down. I'll cook maybe one or two from-scratch meals a week. Other nights we graze on whatever we can find: Yogurt, turkey slices, a chopped cucumber, leftover roast chicken. Or a banh mi sandwich from the place around the corner -- loaded with fresh vegetables, by the way.

I've made peace with delivery. It's not perfect, but it's a lot better than fast food.

I admit ... I still harbor fantasies of having a larger kitchen someday, with an open plan and a counter with bar stools where I can cook and bond with my guys in a meaningful way. But until then, there's this amazing falafel place that makes the best baba ganoush from the chef's grandmother's recipe. And they deliver.

How do you feel about cooking family dinners from scratch night after night? Worth it or overrated?

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Before we share this recipe with you, we need to warn you: Once you learn how to make this perfect corn pudding, everyone is going to want you to make it over and over again. It's that yummy. Fortunately it's also incredibly easy -- we're talking dump, stir, and bake, 30 minutes to delicious time!

Do we need to mention how good this would be with roast chicken? Or a pot roast? Or Crock-Pot chili? Or just straight out of the pan, with a spoon, when you're alone in your kitchen? (Did I just say that?) Anyway, you get the idea. Enjoy your new favorite fall dish -- and you're welcome!

Easiest Corn Pudding

Ingredients

1/4 pound butter

1 (15-ounce) can creamed corn

1 (15-ounce) can whole kernel corn

1 (8.5 ounce) package of corn bread mix

1 (8-ounce) container sour cream

2 eggs, beaten

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. Put butter in a 2-quart casserole or baking dish and let melt in the oven, about 5 minutes.

3. Remove dish from oven and add the remaining ingredients. Mix well and bake uncovered for 30 minutes.

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Hello fellow parents. It's me, that total slob at dropoff. And you know what? I don't care if you don't like it.

Once upon a time I had a sense of propriety. I wouldn't step out the door in yoga pants unless I were actually going to yoga class. I brushed my hair. I put on makeup. Verily, I pulled myself together before I walked my son to the school bus stop every morning. Why? Because I had standards.

And then I got a life.

More from The Stir: Moms Have No Excuse for Dressing Like Slobs at School Dropoff

Now I am one of those moms with bed hair, leggings, and sneakers at dropoff. On a good morning, I'll roll out of bed as early as I can and go running. Then I have just enough time to wipe off the sweat, toast my son a couple of waffles, pack his lunch, and run for the bus. And by run, I mean literally run, because we're usually behind and the bus doesn't stick around for slackers.

If I don't exercise in the morning, it's because I've had a late night (see above re: having a life), which means I'm basically rolling out of bed and getting us out the door in whatever I slept in.

So why not get up earlier? Because it's all I can do to get up when I do! I can motivate myself to exercise at 6:30, but I can't motivate myself to get up extra early so I'll look more presentable at dropoff. There is ZERO incentive for that, people. And no, I can't fit my workout later into my working day. There's no room. And no, I can't just stop working out. Because I'll go insane.

There are some parents who look quite put together at dropoff. I think we've all seen these moms (and dads, congratulations on shaving before 7:30 a.m. every day). I imagine it must feel pretty great to be fully dressed, made-up, hair neatly styled. Good for you, Fine Upstanding Parents!

So what's your deal? Are you just the kind of person who "doesn't need" seven to eight hours of sleep? Are you in bed by 9 every night? Not much else going on in your life, so you might as well look great for the bus driver -- who sees us for all of 10 seconds?

Maybe there's a time-warp for parents no one has told me about that enables you to get dressed, make the perfect nutritious bento-style lunch, feed the kids a hot meal, and show up BEFORE the bus arrives.

Or maybe your priorities are different. You value appearances. I value sleep and exercise.

Oh, I'm just teasing! But seriously, all I ask is that you not judge. Okay? We're all living varied and challenging lives. This is just the beginning of the heaps of disapproval I am dished out from parents week after week. Don't even get me started on the parents who look at me cock-eyed because we're running for the bus. YOU find me that extra five minutes in the morning, if you're so efficient with your time!

And while I can shake off a judgy look, the accumulation of judgy looks over time makes us collectively weaker. It's just clothes, you know? Is it really worth it, to create bad energy in the world first thing in the morning? Maybe you feel better about yourself for five seconds, but is the world a better place for your judgment?

Come on, moms. We can do better.

How do you feel about wearing pajamas to school dropoff?

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Clik here to view.Hey! Drop the ketchup and back away from the French fries, lady! That's what you'd likely hear at a Florida restaurant where the chef has banned ketchup for customers over the age of 10.

He doesn't even stock the stuff. Can you imagine?!

Chef Xavier Duclos of Mad Fresh Bistro in Fort Myers just wants you to taste his food. He wants you to actually taste it.

I think he's right. In fact, his ban doesn't go far enough. That nasty "red stuff" should be banned for all children, period.

Mad Fresh Bistro's website lays it all out:

We know, we know. People love their ketsup [sic]. But honestly, be ready. If you’re over 10 years old, ketsup will NOT be provided. Similarly, salt won’t be making an appearance next to your meal, either. We simply ask that you trust us. We know what we’re doing! Part of the MAD experience is to trust the chef, and not have preconceived notions of what your dish is going to need.

You see? You just need to trust Chef Duclos and be open to discovering what he's trying to help you taste. He doesn't say so, but he's also protecting you from one truly hideous condiment.

More from The Stir: Restaurant Bans Crying Babies, High Chairs & Strollers

Most brands of ketchup are too sweet. The stuff masks the flavor of whatever it's covering, rather than enhancing it. "A sliced tomato augments," says Vienna Sausage exec Bob Schwartz. "Ketchup detracts." He wrote a book titled Never Put Ketchup on a Hot Dog. A WHOLE BOOK! Doesn't that tell you how much America needs a wake-up call over its ketchup obsession? 

And honestly, it ruins your palate and tricks you into craving sugar in everything you eat.

In fact, some Chicago hot dog restaurants won't allow ketchup, either. Not to mention, remember what Clint Eastwood said in Sudden Impact? "Nobody, I mean nobody puts ketchup on a hot dog." The same should go for hamburgers and fries.

That's why I've banned the stuff at my own home. 

The truth is, we do keep a spare bottle for guests with a sad addiction to it. But I made a point of never serving it to my son. Guess what? He didn't miss a thing, he never wants it, and he actually knows that French fries are supposed to taste like potatoes. 

In fact, I think Duclos is showing a great example for parents. Don't start by catering to the worst of your kids' tastes. Encourage them to try a lot of new flavors. Get them to trust you, as a chef. And yeah, be a total hard-ass about forbidding foods you think are utter crap.

And if you don't like the chef's rules? Go make your own lunch. Eat somewhere else.

What do you think about this restaurant banning ketchup?

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A terrifying virus has been sweeping the Midwest: Enterovirus-D68, or EV-D68, has sent hundreds of children to the hospital in Missouri in the past couple of weeks. And it looks like the virus has spread to at least 10 other states.

"It's worse in terms of scope of critically ill children who require intensive care. I would call it unprecedented. I've practiced for 30 years in pediatrics, and I've never seen anything quite like this," Dr. Mary Anne Jackson, division director for infectious diseases at Mercy Children's Hospital in Kansas City, Missouri, told CNN.

But it's not just children and parents who should be worried about this virus. Here's everything you need to know about EV-D68 to protect yourself, your family, and help prevent its spread.

More from The Stir: Ebola Virus Outbreak Spreading Fast: 8 Things You Need to Know

1. Enterovirus a summer common cold. It usually peaks in September. EV-D68 is a particular strain of that virus.

2. A spike in reported cases of EV-D68 was first reported in mid-August. This suggests that the virus spread when school started.

3. What's unusual about this virus is how many people it's sending to the hospital. In Missouri it's been sending 30 children a day, with 15 percent ending up in intensive care. Children are vulnerable because they are unlikely to have built up an immunity to the virus. But adults with asthma or other illnesses are also at risk.

4. Hospitals have reported cases of suspected EV-D68 in 10 states so far: Colorado, North Carolina, Georgia, Ohio, Iowa, Illinois, Missouri, Kansas, Oklahoma, and Kentucky.

5. From the time it was first identified in 1960, there had been only 100 reported cases of EV-D68 -- that is, until this most recent outbreak.

6. There is no vaccine or specific treatment for the virus.

7. Symptoms are similar to the common cold, at least at first. EV-D68 begins like any other kind of cold, with sneezing, runny nose, and a cough. For some patients it can escalate into wheezing, a fever, rash, or severe cough. Contact your physician immediately if your child experiences any of these more severe symptoms.

8. What you can do. "For now, hand washing is critical," says Dr. Aaron Glatt, Chief Administrative Officer at Mercy Medical Center, who specializes in infectious diseases. That means with soap and water for 20 seconds. "If symptoms worsen or you have any breathing difficulties, see your physician."

The Centers for Disease Control also recommends avoiding close contact with people who are sick and cleaning and disinfecting contaminated objects and surfaces.

9. EV-D68 does not affect only children. "This is especially important if you have asthma or another underlying illness," Dr. Glatt adds. So those of you with compromised immune systems or who have asthma (yikes, that's me!) also need to be especially watchful of your hygiene and any cold symptoms.

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Has EV-D68 hit your community yet? Are you worried?

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I have a love-hate relationship with seasonal trends. On the one hand, I really want to know what's hot and happening right now. On the other hand, updating my wardrobe is kinda-sorta-completely-not-at-all in my budget. Know what I mean? Especially at the beginning of the school year when we're all buying kids' clothes and supplies.

Fortunately, fashion recycles. What's old becomes new again. Chances are some of fall's style trends are already sitting in your closet, just waiting for a second life as your favorites. All you need are a few tricks for styling the clothes and accessories you already own so they look fresh again.

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More from The Stir: 3 Fall Makeup Trends You Can Easily Try Yourself

Do you feel pressured to buy some of the latest fall trends or do you usually try to recycle what you already have?

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Oh those handsome, silly Disney princes. We grew up falling in love with them as little girls. But now that you're an adult, have you ever thought about how dysfunctional and weird those guys were?

BuzzFeed recently brought several Disney princes to life to see if any of them would make a good boyfriend. Nope! They wouldn't. Each and every one of those princes is bananas.

But dating is one thing. The whole point of the fairy tale is you're supposed to actually marry the guy and live happily ever after. What would THAT look like? We dared to imagine, what if Disney princes were real and you actually married one?

Prince Charming from Cinderella

Ah, who knew Prince Charming's dogged search for the other glass slipper had less to do with Cinderella and more to do with his shoe fetish? Within a few short weeks after the honeymoon, it became clear that the prince loved hot footwear more than he loved his bride.

He wanted Cinderella to wear those glass slippers all the damn time! Even when they were doing it. Especially then. I won't even tell you how he ended their lovemaking sessions. Let's just say that thanks to those slippers, Cinderella didn't even come close to becoming pregnant with a royal heir.

They split up after two months, and it was then that Cinderella found out she was Prince Charming's fourth wife! His fifth wife is a shoe designer and he still hasn't sired an heir. Cinderella took her half of the divorce settlement and opened up a seaside spa that specializes in foot massage.

Prince Florian from Snow White

It wasn't a fluke that Prince Florian kissed Snow White while she was sleeping. That was his thing, turns out. He's always in the mood in the middle of the night, when she's out cold. One minute she's enjoying a well-deserved slumber (what with caring for the seven dwarfs and all). Next thing she knows he's on top of her, all "Baby, you don't have to do anything, I'm just going to roll you over here and ..."

This was not okay with Snow White! She likes to be awake when she makes love with her man. But Prince Florian never seemed to be in the mood during her perfect time, in the early evening.

More from The Stir: It's Official: You Will Never Find Prince Charming

It took about three years of serious, weekly couples counselling before they got on the same page. Turns out Prince Florian had some performance issues and didn't want to feel the pressure of his Princess' expectations. Whatever! They're now working on making sure they both enjoy some happy endings.

Beast from Beauty and the Beast

Belle should have paid more attention to those early warning signs. That entire WING of the castle she wasn't allowed in? The Beast's paranoid, controlling ways? He was keeping too many secrets. But it wasn't until years later that Belle realized the full extent of her husband's deceptions.

She understood when she found out he was CIA. Keeping her in the dark about that was probably best for her safety. But then she found out he'd long suspected her father was a terrorist. The hell?!? Just because his trading route took him to some Islamic countries! That's the real reason he'd kept Belle's father imprisoned. And had is cellphone tapped.

But it gets worse: The Beast actually had a second family living in Toledo, a wife and three kids. Unbelievable. Belle's marriage was annulled because, hello! It was illegal in the first place. Beast was fired from the CIA (or so they tell her). And Belle has stopped taking mushrooms -- too many talking teapots and candelabras.

See this video on The Stir by CafeMom.

How would you imagine life with the other Disney princes?

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Clik here to view.The month of October makes some people think of the colors orange and black. But for many women, pink is the color of October because it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month. And one way you can help raise awareness and funds for breast cancer research and treatment is to "shop pink."

Dozens of retailers are offering beautiful, indulgent products that give back to cancer organizations. Why not give twice and treat one of the women in your life to a luxurious gift?

Here are 10 lovely pink treats that help support breast cancer awareness.

More from The Stir: 10 Gorgeous 'Pink' Beauty Products That Support Breast Cancer Research

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What are you going to be this Halloween? If you're like most moms, that hasn't even crossed your mind. I usually go as Tired Mom Who Stayed Up All Night Sewing Her Child the Perfect Costume. (It's a winner!) You put so much work into making the night magical for your kids, your own costume is often just an afterthought, if you consider it at all.

I do feel like a party-pooper when I take my son trick-or-treating without wearing any costume at all. But who has the energy to figure out a grown-up getup, not to mention the time or money? Plus, some of us are a little too shy to go out in full character to begin with.

So for moms who want to play along but don't want to spend a lot of money or time on it (aka pretty much all of us!), we have some ideas. Here are 11 super easy Mom Halloween costumes that match your kids and won't break the bank.

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More from The Stir: 8 Sexy Halloween Costumes for Moms That Won't Embarrass the Kids

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Tell me, ladies: How much would you love it if they made condom-free male birth control? You would probably love that harder and faster than anything in your entire life. Am I right? Well I'm happy to report that male birth control is just around the corner. Pass the lube! By 2017, something called Vasalgel could be changing your family planning game in a big way.

Vasalgel is non-hormonal, so you won't have to deal with any major mood swings from your husband. Sorry -- new major mood swings, I meant to say. And it's cheap; It should cost less than a doctor's visit. It sounds perfect, right? Well, almost.

Let me tell you a little bit more about this male birth control.

It's not a pill. Instead, it's a single injection of a contraceptive polymer directly into the vas deferens -- the tubes that carry sperm from the testicles to the urethra. The polymer blocks the sperm from passing through the tubes, like a highly effective little soccer goalie.

Unlike the vasectomy, Vasagel is more easy to reverse. It's also a whole lot less scary. Instead of (GULP!) snipping, it's just a little injection.

And yet. It is an injection. Is it me, or do you foresee men being total babies about this? I mean, a big needle going right into the soft spot around their family jewels ... I think this may take some convincing.

But it's worth it, guys! Come on. We've been taking birth control pills, getting multiple depo-provera shots, playing with sponges, and having IUDs shot up our yonnis forever. We've gone to great lengths in the name of family planning. Isn't it about time you took one for the team?

Dads do so much more for their families now than ever before. They change diapers, they do dishes, they clean runny noses. This is just the next great step in evolution. Helping moms NOT have babies will help us relax and enjoy what you men do best! It's just one shot. One teeny, tiny, itty, bitty, eensie, weensie little shot. I KNOW a big guy like you can take it.

Do you think your husband would get the Vasalgel injection if it become available?

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Many women were shocked when Janay Rice, wife of an NFL player who was videotaped beating her, came out to defend her husband. It's disturbing to know that she married her then-boyfriend just a month after that attack. Why did she stay with him after what he did to her? For that matter, why does any woman stay with an abusive partner?

Women have taken to Twitter to answer that question in very personal ways. They are using the hashtag #WhyIStayed. And the bare honesty of their stories will take your breath away.

More from The Stir: Expert Shares 12 Signs You're Still in an Abusive Relationship

There are so many reasons why women stay -- starting with not recognizing when they're being abused.

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#whyistayed"I didn't think verbal abuse and emotional manipulation was considered an abusive relationship"

— Gracie (@Gdub635) September 10, 2014

Shame is a huge factor in domestic abuse.

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#whyistayed He said it was my fault, everyone would hate me if I left and I felt ashamed for even staying as long

— Jessica Santos (@rawrjessirawr) September 10, 2014

Substance abuse can turn someone you love into someone unrecognizable ... and leave you hanging on, hoping he'll get better for good.

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#WhyIStayed I fell in love when he was 16 & sober. We got together when he was far from sober. To this day, I still love sober him...

— DemonEmond (@2demonsfighting) September 10, 2014

This is a huge reason why moms especially have a hard time leaving abusive husbands and boyfriends -- they don't want to break up the family.

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I didn't want to break up my family #WhyIStayed

— Jen (@phunnyinlove) September 10, 2014

But your kids are always watching and learning. Breaking up the family may be the healthiest thing you can do for your kids.

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#WhyIStayed like mother like daughter, I thought that was the was love was suppose to be. #WhenILeft I knew he was going to kill.

— babyD (@babyD2103) September 10, 2014

Unfortunately, DiGiorno Pizza jumped on the hashtag without knowing what it was about -- resulting in a colossally stupid gaffe.

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Hello! This is social media 101: #DontJumpOnEveryHashtag! They apologized quickly.

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A million apologies. Did not read what the hashtag was about before posting.

— DiGiorno Pizza (@DiGiornoPizza) September 9, 2014

Back to the women's stories, this is one of the biggest reasons why women don't leave abusive relationships, why they won't get help, why they can be so hard to reach.

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#WhyIStayed I didn't want to face the truth

— Chloé Lauvray (@cinnaaa) September 10, 2014

My hunch is this is a big reason why Janay Rice has stayed.

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i was taught that love means you keep by their side no matter what #whyistayed

— nati de la vega (@faviestrella) September 10, 2014

Some women are adding #WhyILeft to share the trigger that finally helped them break away.

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#whyistayed he always made me feel like it was my fault, or "made it better" #whyileft he did it in front of my friend, I was humiliated..

— Kristin Terry (@nitsirk__) September 10, 2014

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#whyistayed Because he told me I was too dumb to survive without him. #whyileft I opened up to someone and they helped me and my son get out

— Jen Ingerson (@JingersonNeuro) September 10, 2014

Here's hoping the powerful stories about why women stayed -- and why they left -- will help the countless other women in pain who remain silent. I hope this gives them courage to speak up and get the help they need.

Have you ever been a victim of domestic abuse? Why did you stay? What got you to leave?

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Mission Impossible: Feed your family dinner for under $5. Do you accept this mission? We actually think this mission is completely possible! That's why we pulled together this list of easy, inexpensive dinners your kids will want to eat. Because that's the real trick, right? We like saving money, but we LOVE it when our kids actually eat what we cook for them.

Here are six kid-friendly recipes that should cost around $5 or less. You can put your own spin on each of them, too. And we have to tell you, just looking at these dishes is making us hungry!

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We don't always have a clear idea of what kind of husband or father a guy is going to make when we first start dating. We have to discover that over time, little by little. But one woman is leaving nothing to her potential suitors' imagination. Check out this gal's insane list of demands on OKCupid.

And then imagine what kind of wife and mother this woman is going to be.

That is, if she succeeds in going on a date with anyone ever. With a list like this, I'd be surprised if she attracts anyone at all.

The OKCupid note was sent to Jezebel from a tipster named Brian. It begins with a rant that I actually can relate to. If you've ever been on an online dating site, you know how annoying it is to wade through the slush pile of messages from men who did not read your profile and are not even remotely what you're looking for. Or who are in some way completely unacceptable -- for example, a seemingly headless set of pectoral muscles who lives in his mama's garage and did half a semester of college before dropping out 18 years ago, not that he can spell college or pectorals correctly. I'm not thinking of anyone in particular (this describes 90 percent of the guys on OKCupid).

All this lady wants is some REAL information from guys who are SERIOUS about getting to know her. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

No, it is not. But this definitely is. Witness the insanity:

So, when you message me you should tell me:

And after that, give me a list (if any) of reasons why I might NOT like you. And don't give me the bullshit reasons. Get right down to it. My profile states EXACTLY what I want, so you should know by now what I wouldn't like. No reason for you to hold back and waste either of our time. If there's something I wouldn't like about you, I would like to know now before we begin to get to know each other, so I can gauge whether or not it's worth looking past, or if I even CAN look past it.

Of course you can message me with whatever extra you like, but this is a good foundation to start with. I apologize if it sounds like a job application or something. But in a sense, it kinda is, right? I just like to know a bit about a person beforehand. I don't like surprises. And if you're not comfortable with answering any of those questions, there's probably a reason. And that reason likely would be a reason why I'm not interested in you.

Also you're more than welcome to just rate me 5 stars to see if I did the same. Sometimes I creep on here and rate people that I would be interested in. I don't really do the sending of a message thing though, that's up to you.

..and make sure you've at least answered, at LEAST a few hundred questions on this site. Otherwise our match percentage is likely inaccurate. If I have time to answer thousands, you have time to answer a few hundred. I put a lot of faith into the matching system on here. It's more accurate than you would think. If we have a high match % and a low enemy %, yet you think my profile is absurd, then maybe you're just digesting it wrong. Wouldn't be the first time.

ARE YOU STILL READING AT THIS POINT?

First of all, this is too much work for anyone. No man is going to read this and think, "YES! This is the high-maintenance gal for me! I can't wait to jump through ALL these hoops!"

Secondly, I bet she's still going to get messaged anyway because nobody reads anything on OKCupid.

Those two things aside, I can only imagine what kind of nightmare it would be to live with this woman or to have her as a mother. She would want to know where you've been at all times of the day or night. She'd want to know what you'd spent money on, down to the last penny. She'd nitpick the flowers you send, if you dared send any. She'd proofread your homework. She'd criticize your aim in the toilet. She'd check your browser history every single day. She'd harass your teachers.

She would leave Post-It notes EVERYWHERE. They would not be passive-aggressive. They would be direct, to the point, and exacting. "I am disappointed that you ate all the ice cream again. I will expect a new carton of Haagen-Dazs chocolate fudge almond to appear in the freezer by 8 p.m. tomorrow. No other flavors or brands will be accepted."

Oh man, I'm tired and frazzled just thinking about it.

Maybe the men of OKCupid should be grateful for this message. For ONCE they have a full picture of what they're in for if they try to connect with this woman. And it's a chilling picture. I'm hearing horror movie music in my head. You've been warned, guys!

Did you have any idea what kind of husband or father your guy was going to be when you first met him?

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I confess, I don't bake very often. Don't get me wrong -- I love cookies, pie, cupcakes, and what-have-you. I just never want a WHOLE batch of them. I just want one little treat for me, maybe two if my son is home with me. That's all!

So it's a darn good thing someone invented desserts in a mug. That's a dessert you cook right inside a mug or cup, usually in your microwave. And they take just a few, short minutes to make! How much do we love desserts-in-a-mug? Oh, about 13 ways, to be exact! Here are 13 of our favorite dessert-in-a-mug recipes for you to try your own sweet self. Indulgence is just a stir and a zap away ... and the kids' reaction is the icing on the cake. So to speak.

More from The Stir: Mac & Cheese Cup Recipe Puts an Adorable Spin on a Classic Dish

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Why do we do it? Why do we cut our own bangs? Nearly every woman I know has made that beauty mistake at least once in her life, and we nearly always regret it. Sure, there's that one friend who insists she knows what she's doing and can cut her bangs perfectly. But most of us know DIY-ing it usually leads to woe and tears.

Heck, sometimes even when someone else does the cutting, we still regret the bangs!

So let's take a moment out of our busy days to look at photos of women with very bad bangs -- and while we're giggling at their hair horrors, let's also find out what you can actually do about these terrible hair mistakes.

More from The Stir: How to Get the Perfect Bangs for Your Face

Have you ever had a good experience cutting your own bangs -- or only bad, bad memories? 

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Clik here to view.When you look at yourself in a full-length mirror, what's the first thing you feel? For a lot of us moms, it's a combination of fear, disappointment, and longing. Maybe we're not seeing the body we want to see. We're not as slim and toned as we'd like to be, or maybe the baby has caused some of your curves to sag.

It's hard not to pick yourself apart as you stare at your reflection -- and it's hard not to let those feelings affect your sex life.

But you know what? Sex and relationships expert Dana B. Myers is here to help. The thing is, you don't HAVE to stand in front of the mirror and feel that way. Myers has a great trick for turning that moment around into something that makes you feel sexy and sensational: Take that body part you usually disparage, and tell yourself how sexy it is. As in, "I LOVE my big, sassy butt. It's so hot!"

Myers demonstrated how to do this in a fun video she did with us. See for yourself!

More from The Stir: Plus-Size Model Tess Munster Posts Incredibly Hot Bikini Shots (PHOTO)

See this video on The Stir by CafeMom.

Viewing this video via mobile? Click Love Your Post-Baby Bodyto see.

It's so simple, it seems almost too easy. But Myers knows what she's talking about. She runs a workshop called Mommy Mojo Makeover and has seen all kinds of moms transform themselves through exercises like this one. Worth a try, right?

I think it's brilliant. We know how much of a mind game sex is. And we know how powerful words and thoughts can be. If you made it a regular practice to tell yourself that your thighs, your butt, or your tummy is sexy, you might actually start believing it. And then what?

You might start acting like you believe it. And then you'd be unstoppable!

I really believe this works. I know strong, confident women of all shapes and sizes who practice it, who somehow, against the odds, decided to love their bodies. They decided whatever special something they've got going on is hot. And the result? Great sex life!

It's all in your head, ladies. YOU get to decide how sexy you are. That spark comes from inside you. It comes from loving what makes your body uniquely yours.

Have you ever tried doing what Myers suggests?

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Have you heard? Paris Hilton has a new guy in her life she's calling Mr. Amazing. He's gorgeous -- and he's expensive! In fact, he may actually be more high-maintenance than she is. How is that possible? Well, I'll tell you: Paris' new love is the world's tiniest Pomeranian. And she just dropped $13,000 on the pooch.

As you can imagine, this is a match made in heaven. But could you blame Mr. Amazing for being just a wee bit nervous about his new mistress? That's why he's penned this open letter to Ms. Hilton. 

Oh, and most importantly, we have a photo of Mr. Amazing you HAVE to see!

Dearest Mistress Paris,

Being your pet is one of the greatest privileges a wee Pompom like me could ever ask for. There is no place in the world I'd rather be than in the palm of your delicately manicured hand.

It is such a comfort to be owned by someone with hair almost as lovely as my own. Finally! Someone who truly understands the demands of caring for such precious locks.

I have but a few humble requests.

When you place me inside one of your well-appointed luxury handbags, please take care with the other objects rumbling around next to me. Your bedazzled iPhone case has sharp points. Ouch! And if a full bottle of Smartwater were to fall on top of me, I am quite certain it would be the death of me.

Please consult my celeb dog nutritionist about my proper feeding. I'm on a strict paleo diet, you see. And I want to maintain my tiny, almost-not-there frame. 

I'm sure you're totally on top of all my grooming needs -- my publicist has a list of top dog spas in Beverly Hills should you need that. And, of course, I need to see my fitness trainer every day. She's pretty much the Tracy Anderson of dogs.

Finally, I do want you to know that I have impeccable taste and you should definitely consult me on your wardrobe choices, starting now. Let's not have any more accidentally-on-purpose wardrobe malfunctions. Yes? Now that you're toting me around, you're a real lady. Let's behave and dress as such.

We are going to be SUCH! wonderful friends, you and me.

Ever so many teeny, delicate air kisses,

Mr. Amazing

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What do you think -- is this a pooch worthy of its name?

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Clik here to view."Please, don't do a burlesque dance for me!" said no man, ever. Ask just about any straight guy and he will tell you, watching the lady in his life do a sexy dance for him can be a major turn-on. 

But what's not so obvious is what a turn-on it can be for you, too!

One of our favorite sex and lifestyle experts, Dana B. Myers, says practicing some sexy dance moves in front of a mirror -- even if you do it alone -- can be a great way to flirt with yourself and to boost your mojo. And to get us started, she recruited the help of a friend to show us a quick, simple burlesque dance routine. 

For her "Mommy Mojo Makeover" workshops Myers helps moms rediscover their sexuality -- and one of the ways she does that is by teaching them burlesque moves. Burlesque is a kind of dance where a woman expresses her sensuality. It's about seducing your audience in a teasing way. In the following video Myers recruited the expertise of dance teacher and Soulesque owner Jazz Biancci. 

More from The Stir: 14 Steps to Doing a Striptease Dance That's Sexy, Not Awkward

Are you ready? Let's all get up and try this along with these fabulous moms. You can stop and restart the video as much as you need to in order to get these dance moves down. 

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Watching this video via mobile? Click Sexy Burlesque Dance Lesson to see.

How did it go? Are you feeling it? Just remember -- your man never has to see these dance moves if you don't feel ready. Do it for yourself, first!

And then ... and then! Try a few of your favorite moves out on an appreciative audience (the man in your life, most likely) and let the sexytime games begin! Still feeling awkward? Just relax and have fun with it. Laugh! Get him to dance along with you. Use boas and other props. The sky's the limit!

For more on getting your mojo back, check out How to Love Your Post-Baby Enough to Get in the Mood for Sex.

What did you think of the dance routine -- how did trying it out make you feel?

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