Are you ready for your daily dose of Donald Trump Idiocy? In today's installment we'll talk about how the Don claimed he "cherishes" women in a desperate attempt to erase from our minds everything he's ever said to and about Megyn Kelly.
You probably heard that over the weekend Trump was whining about the "ridiculous" questions Kelly asked him during the candidates debate, and how "you could see there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever," which sure sounds like a reference to menstruation if I've ever heard one. That's how everyone else in the world took it. So Trump was disinvited from the conservative networking conference RedState Gathering because eww.
Well you were wrong, Americans. That's not at all what Trump meant by "blood coming out of her whatever." You guys! "I didn't even finish the thought," he told CNN's State of the Union. "I was going to say nose and/or ears because that’s a very common statement … it’s a statement showing anger."
Oh that statement! Yes, yes, I know it. "One is so vengeful one has blood coming out of ones eyes, nose, and ears." I believe Cicero once said that about Gaius Julius Caesar, didn't he? No? Oh yeah. Actually, he didn't and also that's not a common saying.
But if you heard "blood" in reference to a woman and thought "on her period" that is your fault. "Only a deviant would say that what I said was what they were referring to. You almost have to be sick to put that together," he accused. Put what together, Trump? MEN-STRU-A-TION?
Not content to excrete that perfidious turd and then claim we were the ones who laid it, Trump went on to praise himself as a great cherisher of women. "When you're negative on women’s health, you can forget about it," he said, referring to Jeb Bush's unfortunate flub about funding women's health. "I'm the exact opposite. I cherish women. I want to help women. I'm going to be able to do things for women that no other candidate would be able to do, and it’s very important to me."
Gross, he sounds like some sleazy guy on OkCupid trying to make a hookup happen. Ugh, get your hand off my knee, dirty old man.
Anyway, for some examples of Trump cherishing women please see:
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That time Trump called Bette Middler "grotesque."
That time Trump said New York Times columnist Gail Collins had "the face of a dog."
All of the times Trump has called Huffington Post publisher Arianna Huffington a dog.
That time Trump told Apprentice contestant Brande Roderick that seeing her on her knees would make a "pretty picture."
That time Trump took the trouble to publicly agree with Maxim's horrific poll that Sarah Jessica Parker is the "unsexiest woman alive."
That time Trump old CNN lawyer Elizabeth Beck she was disgusting for wanting a break to pump breast milk.
That time Trump "violated" his wife Ivanka, but let's not call it rape because marital rape doesn't exist. (Um, does it???)
So you see, women. It's very clear that Donald Trump cherishes women. Cherish, as in "to care for tenderly, nurture." He's got our backs! Can you feel it? Can you feel Trump's tender, nurturing love for you? No? Well then, maybe you need to clean the blood out of your eyes, nose, ears, and whereverr, you grotesque, disgusting dog, you.
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