No doubt many of you were wondering who that guy with the strangely stretched and shiny face hosting the Oscars was last night. You know, the one with the pained smile and the lame lines? That was the once-beloved movie star Billy Crystal, who killed in the Oscars back in the 1990s and was taken back off the shelf, dusted off, and plunked back on the hosting stage this year. Meanwhile, "Who is Billy Crystal" was trending on Twitter, to give you an idea of his mass appeal.
Yeah. So many of us spent the evening fantasizing about all the other stars we would have rather seen hosting the Oscars. Like Angelina Jolie's right leg, for instance (didyouseeit didyouseeit didyouseeit?). Ha, just kidding. Sort of. No really, here's my serious list of people I'd love to see host the Oscars next year.
Eddie Murphy Okay, first of all, this should have been Eddie's show! We were sooooo bummed when he bowed out after Brett Ratner quit as producer. He would have been hilarious -- even without his creative partner.
Robert Downey Jr. His nutty fake documentary, The Presenter, with a very game Gwyneth Paltrow was hilarious. And he Tebowed before coming on stage! RDJ has undeniable charisma, a sweetly irreverent delivery, and yes, I do think he's "bleeding edge."
Melissa McCarthy Putting the moves on Billy, plunking up both glitter heels up on the door frame, "How about we make this dressing room an undressing room?" Come on. She's one of the funniest people in Hollywood, period. Not only that, she's a gracious performer who makes her fellow actors shine.
Emma Stone Her first-timer enthusiasm was totes adorable, wasn't it! She just shines on stage, all silly and gorgeous. Love her! And she can sing, right? Did you hear that? Yeah, I think I see an Oscars opening number in Emma's future.
Chris Rock Back when he hosted in 2005, the Oscar Powers That Be decided he was a little too edgy for the show. But hey, we forgave Ricky Gervais now, didn't we? Chris told those animation jokes last night and it was like we forgot all about 2005. Now that we remember Chris Rock is hilarious, can we please have him back again next year? I think we've seen what "safe" hosting looks like.
More from The Stir:
Christopher Plummer Saves Oscar Night From Being a Total Flop (VIDEO)
Oscar Winners 2012: The 5 Best Acceptance Speeches of the Night (VIDEOS)
Who would you like to see host next year's Oscars show?
Image via Oscar.go.com