Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck's divorce got off to a very amicable start. They even went on a post-split family vacation together. But now? Now the gloves are off. Friends from both sides are talking about why Garner and Affleck split, and from the sounds of it, we should be relieved for at least one of them.
Now before we get started, let's remember this: It's just gossip. These are unnamed sources. Sure, they're most likely Ben and Jennifer's friends. But until one of them does a tell-all interview or writes a memoir, we can't definitely say THIS! is the silver bullet that killed Bennifer II.
The thing is, there is never one cause of a divorce. It's almost always the accumulation of issues. But there's often one tipping point.
According to People magazine, friends on both sides say they weren't surprised by the split, only that it had taken Garner and Affleck this long to finally give in. What finally pushed Garner, according to a longtime friend, was when her husband came to her and admitted "he had not been committed to the marriage within the past few years."
The friend doesn't elaborate what "not committed" means, exactly. But she does add, "Jen's a fighter. She would not give up unless there was a good reason." Your husband giving up on the marriage is a darn good reason.
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Several other sources tell People that "allegations" of infidelity, drinking, and gambling eroded their relationship. And Us has another source who claims Garner told her friends Affleck had admitted cheating on her -- and she kicked him out. But then she forgave him and they worked things out.
Insiders say she kept trying to leave him, and he kept begging her to stay.
Meanwhile, Affleck denies being unfaithful. Whatever the truth is, living with distrust will surely devour the very soul of your relationship.
A source close to both defends Affleck: "Saying he's a bad father and a husband is an easy story, and everyone has wanted to clock him as a womanizer and gambler." I have to agree -- why does every divorce need a bad guy anyway? "He couldn't deal with her expectations. When you're told you're not good enough, you start to believe it." Ah man, what was I just saying about bad guys? So it's Garner's fault now?
My own theory is that Garner and Affleck grew to have different expectations for what marriage should look like, and what they wanted out of life. It happens. Garner wanted a certain kind of husband, and Affleck couldn't be that guy. And then he checked out of the marriage. There's not much more you can do at that point.
A lot of us were sad when they split because when you see a relatable-looking couple working hard on their marriage but divorcing anyway, it underscores what a risky enterprise marriage is. There are no guarantees -- for anyone.
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But to be perfectly honest, a lot of us were thoroughly relieved for Garner. She seemed unhappy in her marriage. Pretty much every divorced woman I know who is following this story was actually happy about the divorce announcement. Hell, we wanted to throw Garner a party here at The Stir. (Jen, we're serious: We will totally throw you a divorce party.)
Did you know that about 70 percent of divorces are initiated by the wife? We're all fighters. But there's a point where a woman has to evaluate what she's fighting for -- if the marriage can't be saved, her life can be. And that's when she chooses herself (good for her!) and her children.
I don't cheer divorce lightly. But for some of us, it's the best, wisest, strongest, most liberating and most life-affirming choice you can make. So yeah, we'll open a bottle of Veuve for Jen.
Do you think Ben Affleck's alleged bad behavior caused their divorce, or do you think those rumors have been exaggerated?
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