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A well-meaning mother's attempt at matchmaking went viral when she placed a matrimonial ad to find her son a mate. What was all the fuss about? Well, for starters, she wants to find her son a husband, not a wife. And it was India's first gay matrimonial ad. So it was a mighty bold -- and heart-warmingly compassionate -- thing for this mother to do.
"I am just an average Indian mom," she later wrote in an essay. "And I want to find a husband for my son."
Padma Iyer describes her son, Harish, as "charming, full of life, and heart." She also says he's an "amazing listener," and an "activist, angry, eccentric, animal-loving" man who has "no time to venture out and fetch the man of his dreams."
She admits that early in his life her son was victim to sexual abuse -- and she feels she failed him then. Later, when he came out to her, she stood by him. She learned everything she could about homosexuality and came to embrace her son's sexual orientation.
But she's worried. She's concerned about the intolerance against gays not just in India (which re-criminalized homosexuality in 2013), but worldwide. She wants someone to "look after him" after she's gone.
The ad, and the essay she wrote, are so sweet -- and also potentially embarrassing in only the way moms can be. I wonder how Harish feels about all of this. Maybe a bit mortified, though in India it's not unusual for parents to get this involved, if not more, in finding their children a spouse. But I think he must also feel so loved and supported by her.
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Will he find a man who loves him as much as his devoted mother does? I do hope so. Thanks to her, at least he's gotten the attention of probably every gay man in India (and beyond), so his chances are good!
And hopefully this personal ad will spark change in India and beyond toward greater acceptance of homosexuality. The end of Iyers essay says it all. She just wants the same thing every mother wants for her child: A loving life partner.
I am now tired and exhausted with all the media attention. In the end, I don’t understand the big deal. I don’t understand this hype and hoopla. I am just an average Indian mother helping my son find a partner. Just that the partner here is a man.
What do you think Harish Iyer's chances of finding a good husband are, now?
Images viasaurabhpbhoyar/Shutterstock, Anita Shyam/Facebook
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