Exciting news: A new laser treatment could turn your brown eyes to blue. At last, a way for us brown-eyed mud people to join the ranks of the blue-eyed elite. What are these tears coming from my eyes?
They are not tears of joy, I'll tell you that. We just took a giant step backwards on the path to self acceptance. Thanks, cosmetic surgery! What retrograde sorcery will you think up next?
Okay, let's backtrack a bit and fill you in on the details. As it happens, brown eyes are actually blue eyes with a layer of brown pigment over them. So one day biologist Greg Homer was doing some thinking on his way home from laser treatments that removed brown spots from his face. And he thought, if we can do that to my face, why not use the same method to remove those unsightly brown spots from brown-eyed people's irises?
20 years later, the technique is being tested in Costa Rica. Who knows, it could be available soon at your dermatologist's office. Except, says Dr. Ivan Schwab, an ophthalmologist and clinical spokesperson for the American Academy of Ophthalmology and professor of ophthalmology at the University of California, Davis, "10 years down the road it could be a public health problem." But never mind that little detail!
Dr. Homer admits his 20-year-old brown-eyed daughter is "obsessed" with the laser treatment. He won't let her try it until he knows its safe. But geez, how about teaching your daughter some self-acceptance instead?
See, I grew up a brown-eyed girl who desperately wanted blue eyes. My best friend had blue eyes, all the princesses had blue eyes (except Snow White, fine), all the movie stars had blue eyes. I wanted them, too.
It took me YEARS to learn to love my brown eyes, to find the beauty in mine and in all the various shades of brown eyes in the world. Not to mention, I was born with perfectly harmonized coloring and would look completely bananas with blue eyes. I mean, can we please talk about how Kim Kardashian looked like a creepy alien when she went blue the other day?
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Kim, you are not Ukranian. Kut it out.
Oh whatever, people are going to do what they want to do. I'm just saying -- it makes me sad that there are people out there who don't appreciate their brown eyes. Why do we never hear about blue-eyed people wishing they could go brown?
What do you think of the blue eyed laser treatment? Is this something you would try?
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