What a surprisingly serious turn the Grammys took when President Obama, Brooke Axtell, and Katy Perry addressed domestic violence. You have to wonder what Chris Brown was thinking -- he was in the audience, too, you know!
As we all remember, Brown physically attacked his then-girlfriend Rihanna on the way to the 2009 Grammys. While Riri's star has risen these past few years. I've no doubt the Grammys represent a shameful anniversary for Brown.
Did he squirm in his seat uncomfortably? Did he think everyone was making too big a deal over the issue? Did he feel like any of the words were directed at him?
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I don't know. I remember Brown wanted us all to get over it in a hurry. And he has become a kind of scapegoat for all abusive men in the music business, maybe even for abusive men everywhere. It's not exactly fair, but on the other hand, he missed an opportunity to turn it around and become a vocal advocate for change. He could have made it his mission to inspire other violence-prone men to manage their anger issues better. Change his story and change other men's stories as well.
Otherwise, I think Obama's fell on deaf ears as far as abusers are concerned.
The thing is, men who abuse their partners have a tendency to think of their behavior as isolated events, not as an ongoing "problem" they have, not as a pattern they need to change. A man who hits women likely doesn't identify himself as an abuser. He's just a guy who has made some mistakes.
But at least dragging the issue of domestic violence out into the open shifts the shame from the victims to the perpetrators. Hopefully as a result, victims feel more empowered and supported to leave and get help.
As for reaching men like Chris Brown, there's still time. But I think it's going to take a very different kind of message and messenger to get that point across -- maybe hearing from a former abuser.
How do you think Chris Brown felt during this segment of the Grammys?
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