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Have you heard? Paris Hilton has a new guy in her life she's calling Mr. Amazing. He's gorgeous -- and he's expensive! In fact, he may actually be more high-maintenance than she is. How is that possible? Well, I'll tell you: Paris' new love is the world's tiniest Pomeranian. And she just dropped $13,000 on the pooch.
As you can imagine, this is a match made in heaven. But could you blame Mr. Amazing for being just a wee bit nervous about his new mistress? That's why he's penned this open letter to Ms. Hilton.
Oh, and most importantly, we have a photo of Mr. Amazing you HAVE to see!
Dearest Mistress Paris,
Being your pet is one of the greatest privileges a wee Pompom like me could ever ask for. There is no place in the world I'd rather be than in the palm of your delicately manicured hand.
It is such a comfort to be owned by someone with hair almost as lovely as my own. Finally! Someone who truly understands the demands of caring for such precious locks.
I have but a few humble requests.
When you place me inside one of your well-appointed luxury handbags, please take care with the other objects rumbling around next to me. Your bedazzled iPhone case has sharp points. Ouch! And if a full bottle of Smartwater were to fall on top of me, I am quite certain it would be the death of me.
Please consult my celeb dog nutritionist about my proper feeding. I'm on a strict paleo diet, you see. And I want to maintain my tiny, almost-not-there frame.
I'm sure you're totally on top of all my grooming needs -- my publicist has a list of top dog spas in Beverly Hills should you need that. And, of course, I need to see my fitness trainer every day. She's pretty much the Tracy Anderson of dogs.
Finally, I do want you to know that I have impeccable taste and you should definitely consult me on your wardrobe choices, starting now. Let's not have any more accidentally-on-purpose wardrobe malfunctions. Yes? Now that you're toting me around, you're a real lady. Let's behave and dress as such.
We are going to be SUCH! wonderful friends, you and me.
Ever so many teeny, delicate air kisses,
Mr. Amazing
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What do you think -- is this a pooch worthy of its name?
Images via Paris Hilton/Instagram
Image may be NSFW.Clik here to view.
