Ever leave someone and then fantasize about how miserable and heartbroken they are without you? No one is proud of having those thoughts. It's no badge of honor to wish someone unhappiness, but there's a special kind of anger that comes from a breakup that sends you there anyway. So when I first saw thispersonal ad from a 1973 newspaperposted on Reddit, I was riveted. Here it was: Like a message in a bottle, a man named Rick bares the raw pain he feels at his girlfriend's departure. "SUE," it begins. "Since you last left me, my heart has felt a great loss." GO ON ...
"The house has felt darker than ever before. No one to talk to me at mealtimes. The warm glow that greeted me upon coming home is no longer there." Yes! Finally, Rick realizes all the ways Sue enriched his life with her love. He misses her companionship, her affection, her conversational skills. I'm almost starting to feel a little sorry for Rick.
"Never had I realized how lonely life could be." You just never appreciate what you have until it's gone. Maybe, before Sue, Rick was perfectly content to be alone. And then she came into his life -- and then she left. And now, on the other side, being single feels completely different. He misses her so much, poor guy.He learned his lesson. He gets it.
"Knowing how much this loss has hurt me, please stop my suffering and --" Oh my God, this is the part where he begs her to come back! He's actually groveling, playing on her compassion. What did Sue do when she read this? I wonder if she took Rick back! Oh wait -- holy shit, you have to read the rest of his sentence.
"... and send the TV back."
Rick, you little stinker. No wonder Sue left you and took your TV with her. What a setup. I can't believe I fell for this!
Sue, wherever you are, did you fall for this too? Did your heart beat faster when you read the beginning of Rick's ad, thinking he'd finally realized what a gem he'd lost in you? Did you harbor a smug sense of satisfaction? Tell me you weren't actually contemplating taking him back just before you read that last line! Did you throw the paper across the kitchen when you got to the end, stomp on it, maybe set it on fire? I wouldn't blame you if you did. He got you, one last time.
What kind of relationship do you think Rick and Sue had before they broke up?
Images via 237/Martin Barraud/Ocean/Corbis, Reddit