After six years of marriage and almost as much time trying, Lady Antebellum singer Charles Kelley and his wife, Cassie McConnell Kelley, are expecting a baby. This is a pregnancy that beat the odds. Their fertility doctor told them they had a 1 percent chance of conceiving naturally!

"Charles and I are SO BEYOND EXCITED to share with y'all that we are expecting a baby!" Cassie Kelly writes in a post on her blog Womanista. "He or she is due in February and we are so happy we can hardly stand it. Like, ecstatic and I’m crying even as I type those words!"

Cassie revealed the couple's struggles to conceive. "I just assumed that when we wanted to start a family, it would happen just like that," she writes. "Well, it didn’t." After years of trying they met with a Nashville fertility doctor in November who put them through a series of tests. That's when they found out how low their chances of getting pregnant were.

Cassie says they never gave up hope, but they did decide to spend the summer simply relaxing and living life, and in the fall they would "regroup" and figure out their next steps. 

In June Cassie found out she was pregnant.

Now that she's through her first trimester the Kelleys are ready to share their happy news with the world. But they are also sending a message of hope and support for couples who are struggling with fertility like they were.

Cassie mocks those "annoying clichés" people kept telling them, like "'Just relax and it'll happen!' or 'You just need to go on a vacation...'" It's true that she and Charles conceived just when they decided to relax and go on vacation. But they of all people know that's not a prescription to cure infertility. They got lucky.

So they're not offering advice on how to beat the odds. Cassie is the last person who will tell you it'll happen as soon as you stop trying. Instead, she offers a sweet and sincere prayer for couples in the process that they'll remain united and hopeful.

She and Charles are simply grateful.

Image via charleskelley/Instagram

Most celebs are keeping mum on those rumors that Ben Affleck and Gavin Rossdale messed around with their kids' nannies. But not Mark Wahlbert's wife! Rhea tweeted her two cents on husband-snatching nannies and oh mama, ain't nobody gonna like what she said.

Rhea sounds like she was trying to play fair and see things from everyone's perspective. But she may end up putting nannies and recently-split couples like Ben and Jen on the defensive with this one.

[code]

99%of nannies out there are amazing! I happen to know that personally. But u do get that "one" that's nannying the husband sometimes�������

— Rhea W. (@rheadur) August 2, 2015

Nannies are like, "Thank you-- HEY!" 

That bit about nannying the husbands is funny, you have to admit. But when you pull back and think about it Rhea is still playing into that cliche of evil nannies trying to steal away unsuspecting, dumb, bumbling men away from their wives. Not that that never happens. I mean ... Aw geez, maybe she's right?

More from The Stir: The Ultimate Guide to Worrying About Your Husband Cheating With the Nanny

Does Rhea have some experience with this problem? Given that little jab you have to wonder if there was that one little vixen who lingered around Mark Wahlberg just a little too closely. (He's a devout family man, so he would NEVER!) Or if it's happened to any of Rhea's friends. 

You know she's just saying out loud what all Hollywood wives are thinking.

But what do dads think about this phenomenon? I would love to hear that side of the story! I know one dad who's had a series of Swedish au pairs and claims it's not as sexy as it sounds. But then, he's not a movie star, so ...

Image via Rhea Wahlberg Blog/Instagram

What if instead of saying "political correctness" we started saying "treating people with respect"? After all, that's the purpose behind that phrase. Well, someone thought of that. Meet PC2Respect, a Google Chrome extension that magically replaces "political correctness" with "treating people with respect."

Doesn't quite roll off the tongue, does it? It also makes you sound like less of an iconoclastic rebel and more like a grudging whiner.

The PC2Respect extension, inspired by a Neil Gaiman quote, makes perfect sense to me. After all, so-called "political correctness" just means carefully selecting your language to show respect for other people. OMG, WHAT A CHORE! When you think about it, that's what your parents taught you to do ... that is, if you were brought up right.

Anyway, just to see how this works we decided to give PC2Respect a try on some headlines. I predicted that the swap would improve most of them -- but would any headlines sound totally whackadoodle? Here's what happened when we PC2Repect-ized 10 headlines.

Chicago Tribune

This is an opinion piece complaining about how the media reports on the race of shooters. One day, news outlets pointed out that a mass shooter was white. Another day the media choose not to mention the race of the perpetrators of some random attacks in Chicago -- and the complainer felt like it should have been mentioned because the shooters were still at large. But so what? If you point out that the attackers are black that's not particularly helpful information considering about 32 percent of Chicago's residents are black. 

I wonder if the news outlets showed police drawings or gave other, more specific information to alert people about the suspects. Maybe this choice was less about being overly sensitive to the black community and more a practical decision about what information we really need.

The Hill

Oh man, someone is really bothered by this Black Lives Matter business. Treating people with respect has gone too far -- it's gone amok! If we agree black lives matter maybe we'll forget that white lives matter, too AND THEN WHAT???

More from The Stir: New Politically Correct Muppet on 'Sesame Street' Breaks My Heart

Salt Lake Tribune

How are trains politically correct in the first place? I think the writer means something like "politically trendy" or popular. But come to think of it, investing in commuter trains is respectful because you're giving people more options for travel and you're reducing carbon emissions, which improves the health of everyone. We all win.

Real Clear Politics

Haha, enough said. Maybe Mr. Unfiltered should try saying what he really means?

Deadline Hollywood

Well, that depends on how you feel about pageants. A lot of people think competing in a beauty contest in a bikini for scholarship money is demeaning to women. Of course, we know this is really about Trump's derogatory comments about Mexican immigrants. (Derogatory = treating people with disrespect)

Huffington Post

Yeah, really, what's so funny about it? What's so funny 'bout peace, love, and understanding?

Bloomberg

Um, yes it is. Duh.

Info Wars

STOPIT, you're killing me! That's hilarious. Yup, every time he opens his mouth on camera Trump shows the world what treating people with respect really looks like. In Bizarro World.

MSNBC

Is there a difference between political correctness and courteous speech? If you want to split hairs I suppose you could say that being PC is too often an insincere effort to avoid conflict and controversy, while courteous speech comes more from genuine intentions. But I've noticed that truly courteous people don't complain about political correctness because they're more focused on creating positive interactions.

Taste of Country

Well there's something worth ranting about! Let's hear it, Chely.

[code]

I think Chely Wright put it clearly in this Facebook post, though she sure did ruffle some feathers. Geez, some people are so sensitive. Is it going to become un-PC to point out who complains the most about being PC?

Image via Dean Drobot/shutterstock

Are you ready for your daily dose of Donald Trump Idiocy? In today's installment we'll talk about how the Don claimed he "cherishes" women in a desperate attempt to erase from our minds everything he's ever said to and about Megyn Kelly.

You probably heard that over the weekend Trump was whining about the "ridiculous" questions Kelly asked him during the candidates debate, and how "you could see there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever," which sure sounds like a reference to menstruation if I've ever heard one. That's how everyone else in the world took it. So Trump was disinvited from the conservative networking conference RedState Gathering because eww.

Well you were wrong, Americans. That's not at all what Trump meant by "blood coming out of her whatever." You guys! "I didn't even finish the thought," he told CNN's State of the Union. "I was going to say nose and/or ears because that’s a very common statement … it’s a statement showing anger." 

Oh that statement! Yes, yes, I know it. "One is so vengeful one has blood coming out of ones eyes, nose, and ears." I believe Cicero once said that about Gaius Julius Caesar, didn't he? No? Oh yeah. Actually, he didn't and also that's not a common saying. 

But if you heard "blood" in reference to a woman and thought "on her period" that is your fault. "Only a deviant would say that what I said was what they were referring to. You almost have to be sick to put that together," he accused. Put what together, Trump? MEN-STRU-A-TION?

Not content to excrete that perfidious turd and then claim we were the ones who laid it, Trump went on to praise himself as a great cherisher of women. "When you're negative on women’s health, you can forget about it," he said, referring to Jeb Bush's unfortunate flub about funding women's health. "I'm the exact opposite. I cherish women. I want to help women. I'm going to be able to do things for women that no other candidate would be able to do, and it’s very important to me."

Gross, he sounds like some sleazy guy on OkCupid trying to make a hookup happen. Ugh, get your hand off my knee, dirty old man.

Anyway, for some examples of Trump cherishing women please see:

More from The Stir: Rosie O'Donnell Shows What Happens When You Insult a Mom During a Presidential Debate

That time Trump called Bette Middler "grotesque."

That time Trump said New York Times columnist Gail Collins had "the face of a dog."

All of the times Trump has called Huffington Post publisher Arianna Huffington a dog.

That time Trump told Apprentice contestant Brande Roderick that seeing her on her knees would make a "pretty picture."

That time Trump took the trouble to publicly agree with Maxim's horrific poll that Sarah Jessica Parker is the "unsexiest woman alive."

That time Trump old CNN lawyer Elizabeth Beck she was disgusting for wanting a break to pump breast milk.

That time Trump "violated" his wife Ivanka, but let's not call it rape because marital rape doesn't exist. (Um, does it???) 

So you see, women. It's very clear that Donald Trump cherishes women. Cherish, as in "to care for tenderly, nurture." He's got our backs! Can you feel it? Can you feel Trump's tender, nurturing love for you? No? Well then, maybe you need to clean the blood out of your eyes, nose, ears, and whereverr, you grotesque, disgusting dog, you.

Image via Splash News

Wow, one of the Duggar in-laws had a deep discussion about racism in America. The YouTube conversation between Jessa Duggar's husband Ben Seewald and Dante Berry got off to a thoughtful start. But then Seewald brought evolutionary theory into the mix.

Seewald asked Berry what he thinks about people declaring a race war, and Berry quoted Mark 3:25, "If a house is divided against itself it cannot stand." So racial division, according to Berry, makes it easier for the Devil to sneak in and "destroy what he's going to destroy."

"That's right," Seewald says. "There's no room for racism in Christianity." I concur! Racism runs counter to the teachings of Christ.

"That all comes from, like, this false religion out there, evolution, that stuff?" Seewald continued. "Teaching that, like, some people are more 'evolved'?"

Some of you who studied evolutionary theory at an accredited university may be thinking this right now. 

Evolution is the scientific theory that all living organisms have arisen and developed through a process called natural selection. Natural selection is when a random genetic variation gives an organism an advantage in adapting to their environment and surviving to reproduce. When that organisms reproduces, that genetic variation gets passed on to subsequent generations. Through this incredibly slow, incremental process a population evolves -- not individuals, as is commonly thought.

Fun fact: Evolutionary theory is not a religion!

P.S. A scientific theory (as opposed to whatever B.S. pops into someone's head after two seconds' worth of thought) is a step in the scientific process. First there's a hypothesis, an unproven idea. Then, if enough evidence has been gathered to support that hypothesis, it becomes a theory. The scientific theory of evolution has been backed by copious amounts of evidence.

BUT ANYWAY! What Seewald is referring to is a quack interpretation of evolutionary theory used by members of the Nazi party (among others) to justify their prejudice. It is in fact a complete distortion of the scientific theory and is rejected by the contemporary scientific community. Go ahead, bring it up in your Biology 101 class and see how far your professor's eyeballs roll back into her head.

Now let's take a quick detour to logic class! Just because a group of individuals have distorted a scientific theory for their own nefarious purposes does not, in fact, discredit that theory by association. It just means those individuals are jerks and bad scientists to boot.

Just to be clear: Accepting the theory of evolution does not make you a racist.

But hey, if you don't "believe" in science that's your business. Just don't propagate misinformation about a major scientific theory in the name of fighting racism. We know you mean well, Ben Seewald. But you're using the wrong tools to build your argument.

What were we talking about again? Oh yes, the Duggars and racism. I'm so tired now. Where is my glass of rosé?

See this video on The Stir by CafeMom.

Image via Jessa Seewald/YouTube

Do you and your spouse sext each other? A new survey shows that 88 percent of Americans have texted something sexy at least once. And you'll be surprised who's doing the most sexting -- it's not single guys.

A whopping 75 percent of sexters are in committed relationships, according to Drexel University's survey of 870 people ages 18 to 82. And they're getting the most of out it, too. While singles who send naughty texts say they're less sexually satisfied, sexters in relationships and those who are casually dating are more sexually satisfied.

In fact, people who are casually dating feel like the more they sext, the greater their satisfaction. Most people in "very committed" relationships, though, don't feel like their sexting affects their satisfaction one way or another -- I wonder why?

Maybe sexting is part of the courtship process, how you seduce someone. And then, once seeing you naked in real life becomes a regular thing, the sexting loses a bit of its charge. After all, tiny pictures on a cell phone are nothing compared to the real thing.

But hey, don't throw it out. Can I make a case for keeping up with the sexting long past the point of familiarity? In just about every marriage or relationship you have business and other trips that separate you from time to time, and sexting is a fun way to stay connected when you can't be together IRL.

Even when you're together, it's a treat to receive one from your boo for no reason at all, just to keep things hot. I'd say it's up there with still getting flowers. After all, the courtship should keep going even after commitment. 

Maybe you could be the one to get the next volley started with a flirty message about what you'd like to do to him when you get home. Or send a nude photo but from behind, or even a selfie with a certain look only he understands. I think once you've seen each other a million times it's about creating mystery, not revealing it.

Image via gpointstudio/Shutterstock

It's inevitable. No matter how loving and understanding and maybe also conflict-averse you are as a couple, at some point or another you're going to have an argument. Is there a way to fight a good fight, though?

We asked relationship expert Alan C. Fox, author of People Tools for Love and Relationships, for his tips on arguing with your spouse so you both win.

Image via wavebreakmedia/Shutterstock

What is with this man's sperm? One furious man is suing his ex-girlfriend and the sperm bank that let her use some of his frozen sperm to conceive a baby without his permission. But hold on, it's more complicated than that. Way, way more complicated.

We almost feel like we need to draw a timeline or a diagram to explain how this all went down. But here goes.

More from The Stir: Sperm Donor Who Fathered 7 Kids in 10 Weeks Has Something Moms Can't Resist

And now Hardin is incensed that his ex-girlfriend got pregnant with the sperm he intended for his other ex-girlfriend. "Salt just continues to go into the open wound just every day," he told KTRK. "It's the ultimate. I don't think you can do anything worse in society today."

Oh, we can think of a few worse things you can do in society today.

But that aside, can you blame the sperm bank for being a little confused? There's too many ex-girlfriends for them to track, for one thing. I mean, who shows up at the bank with two different women?

True, Hardin did go through the trouble of writing out that contract specifying only ex-girlfriend #1 could use the sperm, but still. James Edwards, representing Texas Andrology Services, says the clinic was just doing what they thought they were supposed to do. "You don't go back over and over again and say, 'Hey, did you change your mind?'"

But the absolute worst thing about this whole debacle is that there is a 5-year-old child involved.

Devall's use of Hardin's sperm resulted in a pregnancy, and now Devall is raising the boy herself. Hardin has never even met him. That's bad enough -- but to sue the woman on top of that? Sue the woman who is raising your offspring, by herself ... that's pretty low, isn't it?

I hate to think how the boy would feel if he found out what his biological father was trying to do! Obviously he has no relationship with the man, and Devall shouldn't have used his sperm. There are PLENTY of shoulda-woulda-couldas in this story. But now that a small human being is involved it sure doesn't seem like suing is the most compassionate, sane, humane thing to do. Does it?

[code] [/code]

Image via KTRK

This has to be one of the best lessons in turning things around we've seen in a while. When the DeLong family woke up to this homophobic graffiti scrawled on their garage door -- presumably directed to their two openly bisexual teenage daughters -- they were stunned.

"I was dumbfounded," Erin Kennedy DeLong tells Yahoo Parenting. "I realized someone had committed a hate crime at my house." How creepy! And it was her 17-year-old daughter, Miranda, who saw it first. In addition to supporting Miranda and her 14-year-old daughter, Emily, the DeLongs also welcome the girls' other LGBQT friends to their home. Ms. DeLong believes this message may have been intended to shame them.

But the perpetrator apparently doesn't know how gay pride works.

The family reported the hate crime to the police and started washing off the spray paint, but some of the original paint started coming off with it. "Some friends had suggested we repaint that part of the garage the colors of the rainbow or in glitter, and we thought the rainbow was a great idea," DeLong says.

More from The Stir: City Makes Sure Residents See Gay Pride Rainbow Everywhere They Walk

So everyone, including the DeLongs' 9-year-old son, painted a rainbow over their garage doors as a sign of support for Miranda, Emily, and their friends.

DeLong says she's just doing her job as a mother. "I'm supposed to be their biggest supporter," she told Yahoo.

But clearly DeLong is doing much more than support her daughters. She's also teaching them a powerful lesson in resilience and confidence. Being the target of a hate crime must feel horrible -- demoralizing and a little bit scary, too. But to come back and re-frame that harassment as a proclamation of pride shows how you can stand up to bullies in a very positive way.  

It's sad that someone out there thinks that being gay is shameful. This family thinks otherwise. You can't shame someone over something they're proud about.

[code]

Image via Erin Kennedy DeLong/Facebook

Whoa, look who's looking oh-so-demure in tea roses. Kim Zolciak-Biermann took to Instagram to model a whole new look today, and we have to say, we love this new direction!

Ordinarily, Kim Z. goes for something a little more va-voom, you know? Plunging necklines, curve-hugging slim skirts. So, this Dolce & Gabbana floral she says she picked out herself looks downright ladylike on her, with its high neckline, long sleeves, and full skirt.

Here's Kim's fabulous new look. Roses suit her, I think you'll agree.

[code]

I love my dress picked it out myself ð��� different look for me â�ºï¸ï¿½ #ChangeIsGood

A photo posted by Kim Zolciak-Biermann (@kimzolciakbiermann) on Aug 11, 2015 at 9:59am PDT

[code]

When your glam keeps taking pics.. � When your glam says sit up straight When your glam says spit your gum out When your glam is saying ... EVERYDAMNTHING #DontBeTardy #NYC

A photo posted by Kim Zolciak-Biermann (@kimzolciakbiermann) on Aug 11, 2015 at 8:55am PDT

[code]

ALWAYS so much fun with @ajcalloway Interview 1 down 5 more to go !! �� #DontBeTardy #August16At10pm #NYC #DolceDress

A photo posted by Kim Zolciak-Biermann (@kimzolciakbiermann) on Aug 11, 2015 at 7:56am PDT

More from The Stir: Kim Zolciak's Waist-Training Obsession Has Finally Gone Too Far

There's not a bit of cleavage in sight. In fact, is that even really Kim in there? It's kind of hard to tell. Just kidding -- she looks great.  

Change is good, as she says in her Instagram post. The dress is still ultra-feminine and flirty, of course, since it's Dolce & Gabbana. That makes it ultra-Kim Z., but in a totally new way. It's actually a smart way to change your style: Hold on to one important element of your style while you experiment with another. 

If the Don't Be Tardy star is interested in trying new styles, we have another suggestion for her. Stop with fish lips already! Oh my God, we get it, you have full lips, and you wear lip gloss. Duly noted.

Image via Kim Zolciak/Instagram

Oh man, what do you do if you've been out all night partying and you know your college paper will be late? You drunk-email your professor mocking his bald head and offering to get him laid if he'll give you an extension. Yes, someone named Patrick Davidson did this, and you have to read it.

The most amazing thing about this letter is that it didn't begin with "Dude." No, actually the most amazing thing about it is the way his professor responded, but we'll get to that later. Davidson's email found its way to Reddit where it's been enjoyed by over a million viewers, including us.

More from The Stir: This Is Officially the Worst Email You Could Ever Receive After a Date

Davidson begins by commending his prof for being a "motherf---ing g" and adding condolences for the man's baldness. He offers to set his teacher up with a girl who can get his hair back and "keep you bangin." Then he asks for that extension, predicting that he will feel ill tomorrow.

Lastly, perhaps in his drunkenness mistaking Mr. Martin for his dad, Davidson ends his letter with "Love u."

[code]

a student emails his professor while drunk. results are amazing

Actually, when you see Mr. Martin's reply you'll love him, too. 

Mr. Martin (probably Dr. Martin) has no doubt gotten emails like this hundreds of times before. Perhaps he appreciated Davidson's honesty. Or maybe he sees the big picture: Davidson is a goof and who cares if the paper is a day or two late.

Mr. Martin grants Davidson an extension. Yes!

But also, he adds, "I appreciate your concern for my bald head. My wife likes it and I don't get paid enough to get hair implants." Love it -- it is very cool indeed that Martin wasn't offended by the bald crack, nor by the offer to set him up with a bangin' chick. We're so pleased to hear he is already happily coupled. I suppose that's a nice way of turning down Davidson's generous offer.

But the funniest part is when Martin asks Davidson what he was drinking -- well, you should see for yourself.

Yeah, we think Davidson owes Mr. Martin a bottle of whatever that was just for being so cool about the whole thing. Don't you?

Image via racorn/shutterstock

The hottest new trend in bachelorette parties isn't the Jennifer Lawrence–style bikini cruise, nor the police man stripper, nor the post-drinks spa recovery. Nope. These days all the hip brides are inviting their moms to their bachelorette parties.

That is, according to a New York Times trend piece. (OMG you guys they are always making up trends based on what two of the Style editor's friends did, but let's go with it.) Evidently some moms are actually the ones planning the party, down to booking the exotic male dancers. (Mrwor, Mom!) And God forbid you neglect to invite your mama to the party.

Saralee Rosenberg tells the Times she assumed her daughter would include her. "I thought I could at least come for a little while," she says, "but the idea was shot down." Can you believe?!?

Doesn't Rosenberg's daughter realize, things are different with this generation of mothers and daughters. They share so much! They're way more connected. They're following each other on Facebook and Pinterest. And also, have you not noticed how with-it and foxy our moms are these days? Oh why oh why won't you let her sit at the cool kids' table with you???

More from The Stir: 10 Make-You-Blush Bachelorette Party Cakes for a Wild Send-Off

Because! Ain't nobody want to see a photo of your mom grinding up against a stripper on Facebook the morning after. Especially Dad.

Okay, look. Here's what this is really about. You see, Ms. Rosenberg didn't get a big party when she got married because her mom didn't even think the marriage would last. Go on, Ms. Rosenberg, tell them.

"'When I had two daughters, I thought, 'I’ll live vicariously through them.'"

Oh Ms. Rosenberg! Tsk tsk. How many times have we told you? You can't live vicariously through your kids. You need to throw yourself your own bachelorette party retroactively. You know, like how couples renew their vows? Why am I not writing a trend piece about that?

As weird as this supposed trend is (and it's probably not a trend, just something a couple of the writer's friends have done) there is one thing about it that I like: It assumes moms, even older, adult-child-having moms, are whole people who like seeing naked men dance and don't go all fusty and moldy once they hit their 50s and 60s. So if respecting your mom as a Whole Woman means inviting her to your bachelorette party, great! I'm all for that.

Image © IPGGutenbergUKLtd

BIC sure does offend a lot of people for a pen company. Perhaps trying to undo the damage from their 2012 "Bic for her" fiasco, BIC South Africa came out with a "Think Like a Man" ad -- celebrating Women's Day, obviously.

How hard was it for them to get this so, so wrong? Here's the ad, which was posted on BIC South Africa's Facebook page but has since been removed.

I mean, doesn't that say it all? This is workplace sexism in a snapshot. Thanks for pointing it out, BIC! What do they even mean by "look like a girl" -- ??? Do they mean show up in head-to-toe pink and wear your hair in pigtails? Or do they mean -- oh dear God, please tell me that's not supposed to mean don't show your age. "Look forever 18!"

And what's "think like a man" about? The original Think Like a Man was a dating book by comic Steve Harvey. It was about understanding how men think within the context of dating -- not the workplace. I mean, do I really have to unpack this?

Hey, can we please have this ad next time?

Anyway, the backlash slapped BIC SA so hard they issued an apology via Facebook pronto.

We would like to apologise to all our fans who took offense to our recent Women’s Day Post. We can assure you that we meant it in the most empowering way possible and in no way derogatory towards women. We took the quote from a 'Women in Business' blog site. The blog site explains the quote and what its intentions were when it was written. BIC believe in celebrating women and the powerful contribution women make to our society.

Oh sure, BIC. Blame a woman for your mistake! The blog site they're referring to, the Sunday Times discovered, is Spicy Broccoli, and the post itself has also since been removed (there's a lot of removing in this story). But they quote the author, Sarah Taylor.

Thinking like a man aids you to achieve a professional standard in the business world. This is because women who know how to position themselves are more successful. Sheer nerve and real guts will get your further than talent, which is sad because those with real talent go unnoticed; but let’s face it, it is the truth.

If you dress like a lady, but think like a man it's safe to say that you will not be mistaken in your field, it will show you are confident and know what you are doing, which is fantastic in running a business.

Okay ... there's a little more nuance here that the Bic ad was missing, though I think Taylor could have been clearer about what she means by "thinking like a man." We're hoping it's some reference to the practice of gender-based code switching within male-dominated industries in order to subvert certain biases. You totally meant that, right Sarah Taylor? Note that there's no mention of girls, who use markers and crayons, FYI.

More from The Stir: Hilarious BIC 'For Her' Pen Reviews

Meanwhile, the Internet wasted no time in spoofing the ad like you knew they would.

[code]

Sexist Bic pen ad intended to celebrate women backfires, inspires funny spoofs http://t.co/g4YrKxdnJBpic.twitter.com/NUuooX2xgX

— TAXI (@designtaxi) August 12, 2015

Is this what a pen for men would look like?

[code]

Love my new Bic pen for Men pic.twitter.com/7wpRuyMxVF

— AtheistEqualistGamer (@tauriqmoosa) August 11, 2015

Rival pen company Stabilo wants us to consider our options.

[code]

Sorry to highlight your mistake #Bic, but we thought this was more appropriate... #HappyWomensDaypic.twitter.com/NvSzDWknUJ

— STABILOUK (@STABILOUK) August 12, 2015

I saved the best one for last.

[code]

That sexist Bic ad is applicable to the career of Christopher Biggins and literally nobody else. pic.twitter.com/nuSkvgkZap

— Ms Slide (@sliderulesyou) August 11, 2015

There you go! There's you're Happy Women's Day Here's a Pen ad. Love it.

Images via bikeriderlondon/shutterstock; BIC SA; Dean Drobot/shutterstock 

Ladies, could you pull off this dress? Would you even want to? Actress Katie Holmes zipped herself into a minuscule acid-wash dress for a movie she's also directing. Guess who she's playing? I'll give you a hint: She's everyone's favorite person to judge ...

That's right, she's a single mom! Natch.

Holmes is starring in and directing the upcoming film All We Had, an adaptation of a novel by Annie Weatherwax. It's about a single mom who moves to Ohio following the 2008 financial crisis, which is when we were all wearing acid wash, remember? Oh wait no, that was the 1990s.

But you know, this is totally how single moms dress all the time. I should know, I'm divorced, which is not exactly the same thing as a single mom but close enough. Kids + no ring = instant floozy. It's all about advertising your sexual availability, but in a completely outdated way so as to attract jerks and jerks only. Holmes of all people show know that, as a divorced mom herself.

More from The Stir: Tom Cruise's Rumored Girlfriend Could Be Katie Holmes's Twin

Check out the whole ensemble! Incidentally, this is the exact look I would have on my face, too, if I were wearing this frock. It's kind of a "zipper, don't fail me now!" combined with "dignity, you are but a faint memory."

I think we all know this would be more flattering with heels. Who wears a minidress with flats? Let's check out the back.

OMG, don't bend over, Katie! Don't bend over! (You can see what happens when she bends over in the Daily Mail article -- now don't all rush over there to look.)

All joking aside, Holmes looks pretty good, actually. It's not SO small that she's falling out of it. Well, not when she's standing upright, anyway. Her arms and shoulders look super toned. 

We can't wait to see why Holmes's character is wearing such train wreck of an outfit. Is she trying to get a job from the sexist owner of a garden center? Is she picking up plants for her pimp? "Bitch better have my delphiniums!" We'll have to wait and see.

Images via Splash News

One family is mourning the loss of a toddler after surviving a fire. The 3-year-old had been rescued by his father from their burning home only to be found later back inside, believed dead from smoke inhalation.

The Thomas family's house caught fire during a power outage when a lit candle tipped over and set a sofa aflame. Father Terry grabbed his son Layden and carried him out, and left him on the porch to rescue his wife and his other two children, a 5-year-old and an infant. That's when Layden went missing. A witness says neighbors were trying to help the family find the boy.

Layden was later discovered under a bed. Investigators believe he must have followed his dad back inside the house.

"It's unimaginable," Thomas told KDKA about the loss of his son. "I did my best. I got him to safety."

Mother Brittany Smith described the chaotic scene to WTAE.

I was outside with my newborn baby and my oldest daughter, and she was running across to the neighbor's house, and Layden was right by my feet, and I'm trying to call the police while I take care of them, and I just glanced away for a second and he ran back in the house.

You can imagine what that must have been like, especially at night. And those of us with kids all know that 3-year-olds don't always recognize a dangerous situation. Layden was no doubt terrified and maybe also confused about why his father was leaving him in this disorienting and scary moment. Why wouldn't he try to follow Dad back inside?

More from The Stir: 22 Surprising Safety Hazards Around the Home & Garden

It must have been confusing for the parents, too, with the smoke and the panic and three small children to keep track of. It's a rare person who can summon a calm, laser-like focus during a crisis. More often our adrenaline pushes us to move quickly, but also causes us to panic. 

I feel for these parents, who must feel horrible to have lost their child, especially after they thought Layden had been brought to safety. It would be hard not to spend the rest of your life replaying the events of the night in your mind and wishing desperately that you could do it all again.

But the family has more to worry about on top of the loss of their son. They did not have insurance, and so they are now homeless and have only the clothes on their back and what few undamaged items remain in their home.

[code][/code]

Image via KDKA

When was the last time you typed the letters "LOL." It's been a while, hasn't it? Well, that's for a good reason. You see, Facebook users have stopped using LOL in favor of other forms of e-laughter like "hahahaha" and emoji. My friends, I have sad news: LOL is dead.

A Facebook survey titled The Not So Universal Language of Laughter found that the most popular way to express mirth is with "haha" followed by an emoji and "hehe." Only a tiny fraction of users still go with LOL -- 1.9 percent. OMG! (Which, P.S., continues to thrive.) 

[code]

"Lol" is out. “Haha” and emoji are in, according to Facebook data. http://t.co/NAgyRz3HUQpic.twitter.com/JXMRyHycy8

— Wall Street Journal (@WSJ) August 10, 2015

And so, dearly beloved, we are gathered here to pay our final tribute of respect to that which was relevant of our deceased loved one and friend, LOL.

More from The Stir: Beyoncé's 'Drunk in Love' Done Entirely in Emojis Is Mesmerizing

An acronym for "laugh out loud," it is believed that LOL was born in the mid 1980s in a BBS chatroom called Viewline in Canada. Others say LOL emerged in a "FidoNews" newsletter in 1989. Users were thrilled to finally be able to express, in shorthand, enthusiastic laughter. Because having to write out "oh my gosh that is so dang funny I wish you could hear how loud I am laughing right now for verily great peals of laughter are coming out of my mouth at this moment" is a great pain in the butt.

Our friend LOL grew stronger with the rise of email and text messaging. It was in the age of Twitter and Facebook that LOL reached its true maturity. But then came the backlash.

People began to complain that users were not literally laughing out loud when they wrote those letters. LOL's integrity was questioned. The acronym became associated with annoying numbskulls with little imagination and tiny vocabularies. Thus began LOL's sad decline in health.

But who were we to judge LOL? Who among us hasn't relied on a lazy cliché out of fatigue, apathy, or carpal tunnel syndrome? Is it LOL we should condemn, or it is ourselves? DID WE KILL LOL?

Let us not scapegoat this cheery, well-meaning acronym for our own dunderheadedness. Instead, let us remember LOL in its prime. That time your cousin posted a truly funny photograph on Facebook, for once. Your all-night chat marathon with that guy you met on MySpace. And LOL's many hilarious collaborations with cats. 

Let us remember the good times we enjoyed with LOL. It never meant any harm. It was here, simply, to reflect our own hilarity. And for that reason, we honor it.

LOL is survived by LMAO and ROFL (which, let's face it, are not long for this world themselves) and by the inexplicably enduring LOLZ.

Image via Kzenon/shutterstock

Action movie star Michelle Rodriguez always comes across as a tough broad. But how tough is she in real life? She found out when she found herself hungry and without water in the Nevada desert. You guys, Rodriguez ate a mouse boiled in her own urine.

Intriguing! Tell us more! 

Okay, I will. This was on an upcoming episode of Running Wild With Bear Grylls, a show where the adventurer drags pampered celebrities with him into the wilderness and eats them for dinner. Kidding! He teaches them important survival skills. I guess?

There are people all over the world who are genuinely starving and don't have access to clean water. But here in America we've got it so good, we have to go looking for this kind of punishment! I don't get it. But anyway, back to Michelle and her pee...

More from The Stir: 15 Really Gross Things People Have Found in Their Food

They're stuck in Nevada without food and water. Why? Why would Bear Grylls not pack enough food and water? I have no idea. All I know is that he made Michelle pee into a small pitcher and then boil a skinned mouse in it over an open fire. Then they both ate the mouse, including the bones, AND THEN THEY DRANK HER PEE.

I know pee is sterile. I know a mouse is just animal protein, like a really small chicken. But UGH.

If I were Michelle Rodriguez I would finish up this adventure with a nice long stay at a spa and so much clean water I turn into a mermaid. What a brave woman! I would never do this. I mean, maybe if I were truly starving to death and dying of thirst. But for a TV show? No. Nope. Nononononono.

[code]

Image via NBC 

"You know when you know." You've heard this saying about men, haven't you? You know when you've got a keeper. But can you tell when you've caught a man who isn't a keeper, after all? Here are just a few of the telltale signs that fish should be thrown back into the sea.

Fans of model Chrissy Teigen know the girl loves herself some good eating. But she got concern-trolled after an interview with Delish.com after she confessed she loves licking the cheese dust off of corn chips. Oh my, does Teigen's Dorito-licking habit mean she has an eating disorder? 

"I lick off the nacho cheese seasoning and put the chips back in the bag," Teigen admitted, after describing all the solid foods she eats on a daily basis. "You still get all the flavor, not all the carbs!"

And cue backlash.

What the -- you guys! A model! Is talking about eating only the cheese dust! Off her Doritos! Because it's low-carb! Save the youth, save the youth!

So silly. Did people miss the part of the interview where she says she eats eggs every day, with bacon or sausage and avocado? And how much she loves pickled peppers? How she loves a "hearty meal" and wakes up hungry at 2 a.m. when she eats salad for dinner? And how she even eats fast food a couple times a week?

More from The Stir: Chrissy Teigen's Sick Food Jokes Make Us LOL

Have people not noticed the prominent role food plays in Teigen's Instagram? So much cooking. Dang, all we can say is, John Legend is one lucky man for many reasons.

[code]

what's up chicken butt

A video posted by @chrissyteigen on Jul 30, 2015 at 4:01pm PDT

Teigen addressed rumors that she's promoting the Dorito Dust Diet with her characteristic tact and diplomacy. Just kidding, she blasted her haters the usual way via Twitter.

[code]

i can't believe i have to address this but my quote about licking the seasoning off doritos isn't "promoting eating disorders" it's a hobby

— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) August 12, 2015

[code]

i wasn't honestly saying licking the seasoning off doritos is my idea of diet, you morons.

— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) August 12, 2015

[code]

it was in the context of "it's a gross thing i do and i am disgusting but hey it's low carb HA HA" man social media you are the death of me!

— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) August 12, 2015

[code]

sorry. you all aren't morons. just the people who seriously think i go on doritos seasoning diets. the rest of you are my everything.

— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) August 12, 2015

Right? Don't we all do weird things like that with food sometimes? Maybe you just want a certain flavor or texture. I once bought a whole box of chocolates and then proceeded to take just one little bite out of each and every one. And then I threw the rest away. (I'd already eaten dinner and it was cheap post-Valentines chocolate, okay?)

Anyway, thus DoritoDustGate draws to a satisfying conclusion. Now, is anyone else craving seasoned corn chips now? Just me?

Image via chrissyteigen/Instagram

Can you imagine hating your spouse more than you love your kids? Yeesh. A father confessed he drugged his own children just to rattle his wife -- his soon-to-be ex-wife, that is. The couple are in the process of divorcing, not that that excuses him.

The good news is that the children were all right. The man put small doses of tranquilizers in his three children's tea during a parental visit. And then he called up their mother to inform her that she "would never see the children again." What a charmer.

The mother picked up her children several hours later.

Father of the Year later told authorities he did it to "piss off" his former wife. He is currently under "judicial review" -- the family lives in France -- and has been told to seek medical help. Maybe that explains why he could do something so horrible to his kids: He may have a severe mental illness. 

It still seems like an extreme act, though. It's unclear if he intended to actually kill them or if he knew the dosage wasn't lethal and was just trying to terrorize their mother. That's still not something a father who loves his children should play around with! Anything could happen. Your kids could have an adverse reaction to the medication.

More from The Stir: The Most Important Warning Signs a Custody Battle Could Turn Violent

And anyway, you're still drugging your own kids. That's just sick. If anything you should be working extra hard to protect your children from the pain and difficulties of divorce, not involving them in your revenge scheme.

At the least I hope he loses custody and visitation rights. It sounds like he should be charged with something as well, don't you think? People can get irrationally angry during a divorce but this is way too much. 

Image via Monika Wisniewska/shutterstock